Two Frogs - a friendship story

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

Moral: There is the power of life or death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. A discouraging word can hold them back, hurt their feelings or worse. So be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path, gave a compliment, offer a word of encouragement. The power of words…there is such powers in words that it is sometimes hard to understand an encouraging word can go a long way, can make such a difference in someone's day...in someone's journey.

Friendship is about the words...at least partly. We have to be aware of what we say as friends to our friends. The wrong word can end a friendship just as a couple of supporting words can strengthen one. We must never forget to speak to our friends as we would want them to speak to us - loving, kind, encouraging, supportive. After all,  we all want to be encouraged, supported and uplifted.

So...today...be encouraging, be kind, spread some love. It will come back to you. 

the bear and the two friends ... another friendship story

Once two friends were walking through the forest. They knew that anything dangerous can happen to them at any time in the forest. So they promised each other that they would remain united in any case of danger.

Suddenly, they saw a large bear approaching them. One of the friends at once climbed a nearby tree. But the other one did not know how to climb. So being led by his common sense, he lay down on the ground breathless, pretending to be a dead man.

The bear came near the man lying on the ground. It smelt in his ears, and slowly left the place. Because the bears do not touch the dead creatures. Now the friend on the tree came down and asked his friend on the ground, “Friend, what did the bear tell you into your ears?” The other friend replied, “The bear advised me not to believe a false friend.”

The moral of this story - a true friend is one who will support you and stand by you in any situation. Here, the friend who could scale the tree left the one who could not behind...perhaps to die.... He left his friend to his own devices without offering help of any kind. That was just plain wrong. While most of us will not face literal bears in the world, we will face the tragedies and crises of life that are our own bears. They will chase us down, put fear in our hearts and leave us feeling lost, alone, confused and frightened. We need to have and to be the friend that will be there in these situations to help, support and stand by. 

Today...be a supportive friend to someone being chased by a bear and thank those who have been there for you. They will feel better for it and so will you.

The Ship of Friendship...A friendship Story

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island.

The two survivors who have been a good friends, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man’s parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the island, there was nothing.

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island.

He considered the other man unworthy to receive God’s blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, “Why are you leaving your companion on the island?”

“My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them,” the first man answered. “His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything.”

“You are mistaken!” the voice rebuked him. “He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings.”

“Tell me,” the first man asked the voice, “What did he pray for that I should owe him anything?”

“He prayed that all your prayers be answered “

what is the point of this friendship story? we are not alone in this world....even when we meditate, dream or pray. we should not just dream for, pray for and meditate for ourselves alone. we should include our loved ones...family members and FRIENDS. there is someone out there meditating, praying or dreaming for the best for us and that is usually a FRIEND. they are blessings. we should love them, treasure them, wish the best for them, believe in the best for them and never leave them behind

more on Succulent Wild Women

“A succulent wild woman is one of any age who feels free to fully express herself in every dimension of her life.”  by S.A.R.K.

SARK, an author, artist, and incest survivor with many years of therapy and self-healing behind her, wishes to shine her "beacon of hope to the world" as she encourages and inspires women of all ages to become "succulent." She defines this as transcending past pains and feeling the freedom of full self-expression. Very candidly she shares the tragic, the glorious, the intimate, and the adventurous in her life, dispensing sage advice and a lengthy menu of readily doable suggestions for arousing creativity and nurturing self-discovery. Bubbly, humorous, and at times just far-out, SARK is enjoyable to listen to. Barbara Vaughan

Quite a while ago, I read this book about living life to the fullest with your girlfriends at your side. It was fun to read then and is still fun to read today. I recommend it to those sISTA gIRLS who want to grab life by the fattest end and jump in with their eyes open to adventure and closed to limitations. I encourage you to try some of her suggestions. Finally I absolutely encourage you bring a friend along for the ride.

I know this woman ... we have been friends for years. When we were younger, people used to call us Lucy and Ethel because we were always up to something. It is years later and we now live in separate states but we are still tight.We call each other and reminisce about the fun and crazy things we did both together and separately. We have families and responsibilities that prevent us from engaging in the mischief we used to get ourselves involved in but we are just waiting for the chance; and then, once again, the world will be our oyster

We each have friends we love and want to include in these life escapades. They think we are crazy but they are all ready to be crazy with us. We are going to laugh, travel, sing out loud, dance in the streets, say hello to strangers, laugh, help the needy, share love with the unloved, sculpt, write, laugh, paint, be grateful, express kindness, laugh, party, swim, bar-b-que, drink, laugh, play, drink some more, make friends ... basically enjoy the wild, wacky, wonderful world we live in while surrounded by the girlfriends who make our good times even better.

I recommend reading this book if you get a chance (and if you can find it).  While some may find her quirky, weird and rather hippie-ish, I found her a great read to inspire self-love, self-respect and self-nurturing. This book is fun, wild, inspirational, definitely different and it CAN give you ideas on how you, too, can start to find out more about your fullest self. The concepts that SARK gives in her books, starting with "Succulent Wild Woman" are that women need to live life to the utmost and that they need to love themselves so that they can love others, too.

Here are some more of SARK's ideas that can lead you, too, to be your fabulous self: ...Marry yourself first...promise to never leave you... ...discover your own goodness ...dress to please yourself ...you are enough, you have enough, you do enough ...make more mistakes! And more thoughts on healing, fat, money and power, community, love and romance...

And listen sISTA gIRLS ... You are all invited along!!! Bring your friends and your suggestions. We are going to live life to its fullest with no regrets. We are going to enjoy the width, length and depth of life and we are going to do it together

SO >>> PACK FOR GOOD TIMES  and then PURCHASE YOUR TICKET FROM A FRIEND  so that you can COME ALONG FOR THE RIDE!!!

honoring women and their friendships

“There are women who make things better...simply by showing up. There are women who make things happen. There are women who make their way. There are women who make a difference. And women who make us smile. There are women of wit and wisdom who- through strength and courage- make it through. There are women who change the world everyday... Women like you.” — Ashley Rice 

Friendship is about making the effort to show up in a relationship

Friendship is not about sending a representative

Friendship is doubling the joy of happy times

and diving the grief..it helps make life even better

Friendship is not about harping on the negative 

or harboring resentments from the past

Friendship is not jealousy over another's successes

Friendship is help and succor and strength and support

Female friendships are living, breathing, viable things 

they should be honored, cherished, and appreciated 

because they manage to survive despite and because of  

women are strength and love. women are compassion and understanding. women hold each other up, support each other through hard times, laugh together at the ironies of life and cry when life disappoints them.

women endure childbirth, double standards, rape, abuse, mistreatment and never give up or give in. we are all queens and we protect our kings and our children and our earth and our environment. we are mother nature and leaders of new beginnings and creators of new generations.

we aspire, create,  inspire, imagine, dream, believe, hope and never truly lose faith... and...we do it all with and through our friendships with one another.

i am proud to be a woman, to have women friendships, women family members, sisters and female mentors. we are women; we are succulent, wild, amazing women making forward strides everyday. i honor us all!!!!!!!!!

another rainy day memory

It rained yesterday and I thought how much I like rain. I like when it mists and when it thunders. So long as I don’t have to drive I am good. I will walk in the rain, play in the rain; but I don’t like driving in the rain. I have lots of memories of wonderful things I have done in the rain. I think of them on days like this.

I remember this one birthday my girlfriend had. She was turning twenty-something … an early twenty number I can’t remember. A bunch of us, all friends, decided to take her to the city (Manhattan) for a birthday lunch. I can’t remember where we ate; but I remember how much fun we had. This was back in the early eighties when going to the city was a big deal. It meant getting dressed in a nice outfit and being on your best behavior. It was such a special occasion; we ordered drinks with our meal. I think we each had two and came away from the restaurant a little tipsy.

 When we left it was still early; the sun was just beginning to set. It was a cool spring day and we were all in a great mood; trying to decide where we would go next. As we walked and talked, it started to rain. We all started talking at once about the movie “Singing in the Rain” and the scene in which Gene Kelly actually dances in the rain with an umbrella. One of my girlfriends spots a lamppost and dares me to dance as Gene did. Why me? Well, I had taken dance lessons and tap lessons for years so if any one of us was going to do it, it would have to be me. “Okay.” I agreed, but only if they joined me.

Then there, in the middle of a block in Manhattan, I, followed by my friends, opened my umbrella and began singing and dancing in the rain. What a blast that was! I can still picture us laughing and dancing and jumping around, and laughing some more! Now some of you may say … “only in New York” but I say … “only with friends”. The best part of this memory … the women I danced with that day are still my friends today. We have been through a lot but we still know how to dance and sing in the rain.

Do you have a favorite rain memory? Share it with us.

fabulous female friends

Today's post is about the wonderfulness of women friendships ... female friendship fabulosity. I am often surprised when I hear women say they don’t have women friends, or they don’t like women or they find men to be better friends. I have always found my friendships with women to have been and to continue to be fun, uplifting and immensely valuable. 

Building close connections with women is an immensely powerful act. Communicating, laughing, growing stronger and older with each other is a way to strengthen female bonds. When we form such connections, many wonderful things happen. First, you are surrounded by people like you. Women are more likely to and able to understand another woman's wishes and concerns. Second, women value women. When we share friendship, we generally see each other as and treat each other as equals. 

In friendships between women, we hold each other accountable to one another in ways we don’t when we’re interacting with men or someone on a casual basis. With women, we are uniquely invested in overcoming each other's problems and making things work. We rely on each other, communicate our needs to each other and then trust that those needs will be met We use as well as seek kindness and compassion when dealing with our female friends because women are kind and compassionate by nature. 

Women’s friendships are center to and for women’s experiences. We understand each other's fears, as well as our hopes and dreams. For example, no one’s going to think you are being ridiculous if you say you are scared to walk home alone at night. Women support each other and  confirm and legitimize each other's feelings and experiences. 

Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to have lots of men friends or that having them means you don’t like women  just as it would be wrong and crazy to assume you need only women in your life ... in every aspect of your life. My issue is women saying they aren't friends with women because they don’t like women. Women are the people I have relied on, trusted in and shared my hopes, dreams and biggest secrets with. I have shaped myself, at least partially, through my interactions with them. They have been of immense support to me in a world I have sometimes found to be scary and cruel. My strong connections with equally strong women and my friendships with women have been, for me, a source of strength, laughter, support, love and goodness.

friends from the beginning

The other day I spoke to my oldest friend on the phone.  I love her dearly. We have known each other since we were in diapers. We have been through a lot together and it is always good to talk with her. She has moved to another state and we don't see each other often and lives get in the way and so we don't talk as often as we'd like.

But. when we talk it is as though time has stood still. Conversation never lags and for just that moment, I am young again sharing good conversation with her on her front steps or upstairs in my bedroom.  

When we talked, we did something we seem to do more and more often lately ...we reminisced. I really enjoyed it. I loved remembering the things we did as well as who we were so many years ago. We are very different people now and yet a lot of who we are has remained the same.

I hope you have a friend you have known forever. Someone you grew up with. Someone who knows your family history. Someone you have great memories with.  I do. We had pillow fights, food fights, shaving cream vs whipped cream fights. She threw water on me to wake me up and I forced her to get up at the crack of dawn to go running. We sneaked into porno films to see what the big deal was and tried Sushi for the first time together. We slept over each other's house and shared our first bottle of imported champagne together. we were in each other's weddings and have always been there for each other.

We dreamed of our weddings and our children and our future together. We shared our dream jobs, dream homes, and dream men with each other. We laughed, shared, cried, dated, broke up, married, divorced, widowed, and had children together. We have lived our lives together ... always ... even when she moved away and we stopped seeing each other almost daily. That is true blue, true gold, forever friendship. I am glad she was my friend growing up and I am glad we are still friends. She knows who I was and how I have changed just as I know who she is and how she has changed. She knows who I am and loves me just as I know who she is and love her. There are things that have happened in my life that she was there for and I don't have to explain and vice-versa. We can often read each other's thoughts and sometimes she even says what I am thinking before I do (and vice-versa). She is my friend and I love her.

We all need an old friend like that. Someone we have known all our lives. They are a mirror to our past; a barometer to our future. All of you out there with friends you have known for years, cherish them and ... the next time you see them, give them a hug. They have earned it ... and so have you

what type of friends do you have?

I have been thinking lately about the types of friends we acquire and keep as we get older. it is clear that there are several different types of friends and that we all fall into at least one category. it is also clear that we all have preferences in our friendships and those preferences shape who we are and who we become.

Years ago I read a book about life and friendship. It was Succulent Wild Woman, by SARK; a great book on how to live life fully, wildly, happily and with no real regrets. In this book, the author said we should all have nine friends: three older than us as mentors to us, three younger than us to look up to us and for us to mentor and three our own age to grow older with, together. I like that and have tried to do that. So far, I have not succeeded at the perfect nine however, i do know at least one woman who has at least three of each of these types of friends. so it can be done.

Just the other day, however, I read an article that said we all need at least five friends: an older/mentor friend who has been where you are, a younger/mentee friend who is like a younger sister, an “old” friend who has known you forever and knows all about you and your family, a “deep” friend who is full of wisdom and sagacity and willing to share, and an “unexpected” friend who is full of surprises, can pull you out of the doldrums and make you laugh when you least expect it.

now this set of friends i do have. 

Now, if you combine the second theory with the first, you get at least one older friend (mentor), one younger friend (mentee), one friend your age (old friend) and at least two more friends to play around with (deep and unexpected). that's bad if you agree with these theories and are willing to try to have the friends they suggest. But, I have to tell you … one or two true friend is really all you need; especially if that is all you have, whether by choice or by circumstance. 

what is the bottom line...i think we have the friends we want as well as need in our lives. it doesn't really matter what type they are so long as you share a relationship of love, trust, support and fun. at the end of the day, someone you can share who you truly are with is the best type of friend anyone can have.

having friends can help you live longer

Found this article the other day. I liked it and thought you might enjoy it as well. 

Why Friends May Be Your Ticket to Living to 100

David R. Hamilton, Ph. D

Posted: 10/20/2012 12:30 am

Most of us accept that the secret to living to a very old age is either down to genetics or lifestyle. In reality, it’s a bit of both, with genetics actually only contributing 20-30 percent of the likelihood of living to 100.

Ultimately, lifestyle is the bit that we can control, so most longevity research (research into lifespan) has focused upon this. Most of us know that eating a diet rich in fruit and vegetables, not smoking, drinking in moderation, and reducing stress in our lives is the way to go.

But one additional vital ingredient is missing from this menu. That ingredient is friends!

It turns out that the positive effect of regular social contact to a persons’ health is about as strong as the effect of blood pressure, smoking, alcohol habits, obesity, and eating a healthy diet.

Take, for instance, the following two pieces of research:

In 2010, researchers at Brigham Young University published a summary analysis of 148 different studies that involved 308,849 people. They were of an average age of 63.9 years and hailed from four different continents, and the study dealt with the impact of social relationships on mortality risk.

The conclusion was startling: People who enjoyed strong social ties had a 50 percent increased likelihood of survival over a measured period of 7.5 years compared with people with weak or no social ties.

And a 2010 Australian study that looked at 188 people over the age of 100 found that having a close network of family and friends was a highly significant factor in their lifespan.

Think of it in this way. Take the health of our planetary ecosystem. It needs biodiversity – that is, a wide variety of different kinds of species. When there’s too little biodiversity, the “immune system” of the planet is compromised and the health of the ecosystem suffers. Similarly, having too little social contact compromises our health, whereas a diverse array of social connections improves our health.

We are wired for social contact. Our health thrives when we connect with each other and suffers when we are lonely. It seems that at the heart of all things, being connected sustains life.

So one of the secrets to longer lifespan may be to get connected. It might mean having more regular contact with family or friends. For some, it might mean joining a club, taking up line dancing, or even starting a language class. It can mean making more of an effort to chat with neighbors or inviting friends around for dinner. It might even mean going out of your way to help others in need on a regular basis.

There are many ways in our lives that we can improve how much we connect with others. When we do, we do ourselves a favor, but we do our family, friends, or anyone else we connect with, a favor too.

www.drdavidhamilton.com

forever friendships

Once your heart awakens to the need to be a friend, the search should begin honestly to determine what you are doing right as well as what you are doing wrong. Once you begin this journey, you can never go back. From then on, you should be inflamed with a special longing to seek to be the best that you can be. You should never again choose to linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment with regards to yourself as well as your friendships. While the need to be a good and true friend can make you reluctant to compromise on your friendships, it should not hold you back from striving toward the summit of friendship … forever together, weathering all storms.

Being a good, true friend – the kind we choose to keep close to our hearts; the kind that will last for the long haul –means being able to fulfill certain requirements. A true friend must be, more often than not, consistent, contributing, self-revealing, and trustworthy.  Be consistent with your time and attention. Don’t just be the receiver of the benefits of a friendship, be a giver as well. Share who you truly are; share your hopes, dreams, secrets, and imperfections. Keep secrets and avoid being judgmental. Avoid constant negativity and toxic behavior.

 Truthfully, you can’t always be all these things without there being misunderstandings and hurt feelings at times. But striving toward these qualities, at least with your inner circle of friends, is the basis of lasting friendships.