knights in shiny armor

i saw this on one of my FB pages. I had mixed feelings about the quote, was about to disagree when I thought I would take a look at some of the other comments. imagine my delight when the first comment I saw was this picture.

As I read the comments, i found most of the women seemed to feel as I did - either they didn’t need to be rescued or they didn’t need a man to rescue them (they could do it themselves). I especially loved this comment:  “this assumes that the non-shiny knight has learned from the things that have left scars”. As I am dating or whatever it is that I am doing in my search (if that’s what this is) for a harmonious relationship with a good man, I have my own comments. I would love to share them.

My concern about the knight with torn and tattered armor is his commitment to wanting to keep me safe. I have a lot of questions Does he still want to fight? Is he still willing to stick his neck out? Is he tired? What are the effects of the previous battles? Does he carry all that baggage from past battles with him? These are just a few of them.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I don’t want my own, personal knight, I do. Don’t most if us? However, I am also saying I have issues. Heck, don’t most men want their own princesses or queens (who are wickedly sinful in the bedroom). Sure they do. But they don’t really want damsels in distress. Do they? I hope not because I am not one. I like to think of myself as a wildly wonderful, superhero of fabulosity. I believe that when I find my partner, we will be rescuing each other... together, fighting side-by-side; and when we win, we will be celebrating and healing together, growing stronger and more united by all we go through and overcome.

I guess that’s why a don’t need a knight in shiny armor. Shiny armor probably means he has never fought. I don’t need someone who has no idea of how to fight and persevere. Or it could mean he thinks a perfect appearance is as important as the fight. Too much emphasis on looks means you are not paying sufficient attention to the inner you and that, I think, is as important… no... more important than the fight. If it means he has enough money to buy new armor, well that might be okay - so long as he doesn’t put money first.

Still, there is something sexy about a man willing to fight, succeed and then show you his battle scars. We all have them… some larger than others, some scars still healing, some scars still new. To reveal your scars gives others the confidence to reveal their own. We don’t learn or grow from hidden scars. We do learn and grow ( and deepen intimacy) when we share, open up and reveal our scars.  Of course, it is also important to learn from our scars; they are not just battle wounds we reveal to show how tough we are. They are not medals of honor to brag of. They are signs that we have fought, survived and overcome.

So, yes, I guess I do want a knight with used armor - proof he has fought, can fight, and can succeed. But I hope he has learned from his struggles, grown from his battles and emerged on the other side. I hope that when mine meets me, he will be willing to join with me in the journey of togetherness. I hope  that when battles appear (for they will), we will fight together, side -by-side. I hope that we will combine our strengths and minimize our weaknesses through our shared joining and then, when we celebrate our victories - which we will, we do it in the intimacy of shared dreams, united goals, magnificent meetings of the mind and the comfort of harmonious love.

take me as i am

One of the best things about a true friendship is you meet on common ground. That makes it easy to be accepted as you are. That is one of the cornerstones of a future relationship, of a continuing relationship - the ability to continue to accept each other as you met each other. It doesn't mean you don't change and grow. It doesn't mean you don't improve and blossom. 

It does mean that there is someone in your life who loves you... the real you... the authentic you. It does mean there is at least one person with whom you feel comfortable sharing who you truly are. There is a quote that goes "If I reveal myself openly and honestly to you, as a person, do not make me feel shame" when your friends accept you... as you are... there is no shame... just love, compassion and acceptance. that is what we all need.

Take Me As I Am

Take me as I am

I make that request of you

knowing who I am

accepting who I am

loving who I am

I am one hell of a woman

I am a motorcycle mama

without the motorcycle

the warrior without the war

but… the badass with the ass

I choose not to

put myself down

but to honor

who i am

and all i have achieved

i stand my ground

and for that which

i believe

in silence or aloud

i honor my convictions

though i can

empathize with others

i speak my truths

honestly and openly

without fear of judgement

i cherish my feminine nature

my lines and curves

my scents and sexuality

my strengths and weaknesses

i love being female me

whether i am teaching or learning

inspiring or aspiring

whether i am broken or beaten

i stand strong and tall

i persevere and go on

i learned from my enemies

the difference between

fighting for what you believe

and knowing when

to extend a hand

from the men

who chose not to love me

to run from all i am

to break me down

i discovered my strengths

i can be alone

i can do it myself

i am who i need most

i am where love exists

i am where strength resides

to be with me is to

discover magic everywhere

feel the blessings from above

enjoy the wonder of each day

feel love in many different ways

i am phenomenal, breathtaking

and my own boss

i am a comforter, a giver

a warrior at heart

and i protect those i hold dear

i am amazing

and powerful

i turn the ordinary

extraordinary

just by being me

make no mistake

take me as I am

for i am a woman

a loving, vulnerable woman

a roaring woman... me

friendship and peonies

i am having a peony moment this month and plan to spent fifteen days filling my pages with essays and poems on peonies. this poem depicts the beauty of friendship and peonies. i thought i would share it with all of you. i hope you like it.

Peony Flowers Bloom

the gathering is loving and joyful this evening

the peony flower blooms

as moonlight fills the night sky

a breeze carries us to friends

deeply trodden pathways between friends

the peony flower blooms

i envy you your feminine blossoms

your softly scented elegance filled dreams

filled garden of friendship

the peony flower blooms

i wonder at your petals- simple, layered

i marvel at your beauty - luscious, noble

there... everywhere... in friendship

the peony flower blooms

the colors of springtime

the glory quite profuse

poem by asd

first photograph be Endre Balogh

second photograph by Unknown

House of Four Rooms

There is an Indian proverb or axiom that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional, and a spiritual room. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time but, unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.

--Rumer Godden. A House with Four Rooms --

Basically, when our mental, emotional, physical and “spiritual” selves are in alignment, we can more fully manifest life’s richness and meaning.  In order to do this, we must define what each room means for us and how we can actually live in them. Then we must commit to visiting them regularly. “Living in our house” is an active state which must be practiced daily to realize the on-going benefits. It requires conscious awareness, focused attention and a commitment to personal accountability. Ultimately, each of us must accept responsibility for what we think, how we feel, and what we do. “Living in the four rooms” helps to give us balance and deepens our connection to ourselves, others, and life.

The Mental Room is where our thoughts reside. Individual thought is at the root of every emotion, action and experience; it is our greatest creative asset and the pre-determiner in everything we do. To really live in the mental room, we need to become more self-aware, and developing our ability to be self-aware, will open the doors to all the rooms.  In the mental room dwell the beliefs, assumptions and expectations that drive our experiences, and becoming more intimate with how they work is the key to greater mobility and choice in moving through our four rooms. The thinking process (and its branches of beliefs, assumptions and expectations) forms not only how we perceive our own well being, but also our power to change it. To connect to and renew your mental room, spend time in silence, focus on one task at a time, practice positive imaging, and increase your energy vibration by spending more time in positive thinking and less time in negative thinking.

                                                   

The Emotional Room is where our feelings reside.  Our feelings fill our entire body. We have more neural networks for feeling in our stomach and heart than anywhere else in our body. Most of us tend to think of this room as a messy place filled with anger, anxiety, resentment, impatience and frustration.  Some of us ignore this room while others spend way too much time here, reacting on auto-pilot to life’s events, rather than using the knowledge of the mental room for balance. In fact, there should be a welcome sign on this room’s door for all of our feelings. After all, this is also the room where calmness, confidence, contentment, satisfaction, love, joy, empathy and compassion live. To connect to this room; pay attention to your thoughts, focus on thoughts that trigger good feelings, bring grateful, joyous, and peaceful emotions into your daily experience.

The Physical Room is where the physical body lives, our precious vehicle for experiencing life through our senses. There are lots of experiences of life in our physical room beyond what we eat and whether or not we are exercising. The focus in the physical room is on developing a much deeper relationship with our bodies as the source for our experience of being fully alive.

To accomplish this,we need to make greater connections between our mind and our body. The most important way to do that is to reduce the stress in our lives. Stress on the body can wreak real havoc, but its trigger source is in the mental room. External events happen constantly that can be experienced as stress, but it’s the mental room that opens the door for stress to take up residence in the body. To reduce stress and connect to the physical room; meditate and find ways to relax, develop your senses, rest often, get good sleep, pay attention to your body, drink plenty of water, eat with awareness, focus on your breathing (stop at intervals during the day and breathe deeply), and every chance you get… move, dance, exercise, laugh, play, and have fun

The Spiritual Room is where we identify what makes us come alive, it is not about religion or ideology. It is where we express our deepest values, where we determine the meaning and purpose of our life. Living in this room requires us to define what inspires us and brings us joy. Whatever the experience –  being in nature, being with those we love, sharing ideas, caring for those in need, painting a picture, creating a wonderful meal, traveling to places we love – knowing it and following through with it puts us into alignment with the spiritual room. In this room, we find new sources of creativity, energy and peace. Here is where we discover what truly feeds us and whenever we visit this room, we bring all four rooms into harmony.

We connect to this room through, meditation, reflection, being in silence, service to others, practicing self-compassion, spending time in and surrounding yourself with beauty, doing what you love, and removing judgement (of yourself and others).

Living in the four rooms does not require a great deal of time, but it does requires your presence and awareness of their existence, and then your connection to them and regular visitation. Visiting the four rooms can be magical and a source of pure, perpetual wonder.

Unlimited Love

"You have within you more love than you could ever understand." 

 -- Rumi --

I saw this quote and smiled. I love all that it means. It is the same as we are the ocean in a droplet of water, the sun in a single ray of light, the universe in a single atom, the heavens in a single star.  

Within each and every one of us is all the love there is. And I don’t mean all the love in the world… think bigger; or on the planet…. think bigger; or in the universe… think bigger; or in the galaxy… think bigger. Can you imagine bigger? I have a hard time visualizing it because I have a hard time conceiving it, and yet that is how much love we have within us. We have unlimited love, our potential to love, be loved, give love, receive love… is boundless, limitless, unfathomable. And even more amazing; the more we give,the more we receive and the more we receive, the more we have. I don’t know… is that infinity to the infinity power? And how far and wide reaching is that?

I have always believed that we were created by love, from love, to love and I try to live from that perspective, but I have never thought about love as Rumi has. I from henceforth attempt to live as though I am more than just unlimited potential, I will live and love from the perspective that I am unlimited love. That all can love me, that I can love everyone and that as I open myself up to love, I can connect with more people on even deeper levels and reach more people with love. Can you imagine a world where everyone lives from that place… unlimited love? Wow!