how to be your own best friend

there are so many things i have learned in this world that are ... for me .... life lessons. one of the biggest involves the use of the phrase "i am". it is true they are powerful because whatever you put after them can... and often does... shape your reality. i am fat. i am smart. i am happy, i am a loser, i m a winner. whatever you tell yourself often enough becomes your reality. it is not what you tell the world it is what you tell yourself. so be your own best friend and tell yourself only good things. "i am smart, i am healthy, i am the perfect size, i am strong. as a matter of fact an affirmation i learned from the secret is full of "i am's". let me share it with you...

I AM WHOLE, STRONG, POWERFUL, PERFECT, HAPPY, HEALTHY, LOVING HARMONIOUS

how's that for an "i am" affirmation. say it all the time, every chance you get, every time you think of it. it can only help...

i also believe what you put out is what you get back. i try to put out love and kindness and caring and compassion. i believe if enough people put out positive thoughts and feelings, we will infect the world with goodness and more people will share these feelings and thoughts til we one day have a world filled with people who are living, kind, caring and compassionate.

i know we all have lessons we have learned from life. here is a list of lessons shared with me today. i would like to share them with you. though i have heard most of them at least once in my life, they all made sense. some of them resonated deeply within me. i hope they all make sense to you and i hope you find some that resonate deep within you. 

please remember the goal in life is to be your own best friend. it is good for you - your heart and your soul; and it makes you a better friend to others. these lessons help you accomplish that goal. enjoy them and today and always .... take good care of you...

Written by Regina Brett

"To celebrate growing older, she once wrote the 50 lessons life taught her. It is the most requested column she has ever written.

So here is the column:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

shine!!!!

one of my favorite things to do is to fill up my albums of pictures of things that touch me, that move me, that open my heart or soul, that are beautiful and beauty. one of my favorite types of pictures are of light...candles, fireworks, moonlight, created or real. i like to let light in. i like to see it shine softly, brightly, filling a room, a person or a life. while it can be fun to be able to walk through darkness, it is certainly easier with a little light to guide your way. 

today i received a little light from an old friend. her words brought tears to my face and created little cracks in my everyday armor so that i could feel a little more light escaping from me out into the world. i thank her for that.

right after that, i read this posting that seemed eerily appropriate. it filled me up and overflowed. clearly i am meant to share this with you ... my friends, my journey companions.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

~ Marianne Williamson ~

i have read many things that she has written and believe she has a deep capacity to understand, share and encourage love. please read her if you get the chance. in the meantime, let us be moved by this passage and give ourselves and others permission to be our splendid selves. let us right now begin to... shine...shine...SHINE!!!

are you a nightingale

While nightingales are nice enough looking birds. they are not the prettiest birds. there are birds far more beautiful, far more majestic, far more awe-inspiring. And yet, when nightingales sing. their song becomes them and they become truly beautiful to look at and to listen to and while it is true some do not hear the beauty of the nightingale's song, it is not because of the nightingale, but rather because those who don't hear, do not have ears to hear.

Some of us are like nightingales. We are not the prettiest women in the world or the most majestic or the most awe-inspiring. Some of us are overweight or just don't have great bodies and some of us are not the brightest or the sharpest. Often, when we look at our deficiencies, we become embarrassed and hide our light, afraid to call attention to ourselves. That is not how to live. We all have faults, but that is not where our focus should lay. We are all here for a reason. Each and everyone of us has a gift to share. Every one of us is filled with wonderful, positive attributes. When we focus on our strengths, we allow our soul to open up to the world. When we share our own special song, we let our light shine and that light fills us with such a glow; our beauty becomes resplendent and we fill the world with both beauty, grace, and light.

nightingales... people who keep their light hidden, need friends. friends remind us that we have strengths and talents. Friends see our strengths and talents. Friends support our abilities. Friends remind us that we are light and beauty. Friends help us turn our light back on when it goes out or starts to fade. 

so for all you nightingales out there... 

don't keep your light hidden. don't keep your song hidden. let your light shine!!!  Sing out loud!!! and if you can't do it alone... enlist your friends to help! They will!!! 

being your true you ...with friends

i love the internet. it gives me the opportunity to look at beautiful things and beautiful pictures of beautiful things. i love fb. it allows me to create albums in which to house the multiple pictures i have of all the beautiful things i enjoy looking at and reading.

the other day a friend of mine was looking at my albums and laughed indulgently because they were "so me". i chuckled too, a little. she knew me and my sometimes weird sense of beauty, she understood its value to me ...beauty. she chuckled because she knew me and loved me anyway. i chuckled because i realized that as she chuckled.

while i am not always in such a good place, generally i like me. i think that is a good thing because i am the only person with me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. true, i am on a journey to be a better me - but at least i am always starting from a good place. a lot of us, however, don't like ourselves or at least don't like ourselves enough to not change for others. that is why it was such a gift to realize my friend knew me and liked me just the way i was. she did not expect me to change for her and i did not feel i needed to change to be accepted by her.

we, as women, need to figure out who we are and then...so long as who we are does not hurt others or our planet... go with it. we need to embrace who we are and then go along the journey of our true selves. otherwise, what is the point? if we live a false life, being who others want us to be, we are living half a life....an un-actualized life. that is not fulfilling and can cause us to, eventually, crack wide open.

once you discover who you truly are and come to love and accept yourself, it will feel blessed and joyful to share your true self with others...and true friends will embrace you proudly. they will be proud of you, proud knowing that you are willing to stand in this world as your real self. those that don't, those that aren't are probably not sincere friends in the first place and thus not worth any of your regret. instead, remember, it is hard to be true to yourself in this world of cookie-cutter people. having the courage to be you is novel, unique and scary so to do so successfully is beautiful. a thing to indeed be proud of.

so find you...your smart, creative, funny, loving, gentle, kind, strong, powerful, healthy, harmonious you and let her loose on the world and share this wonderful you with your friends. then, together embark on the journey of a lifetime, a journey of friendship and growth and  love and exploration and kindness and curiosity about everything... together.