honoring yourself

“Beauty shouldn’t be about changing yourself to achieve an ideal or be more socially acceptable.

Real beauty, the interesting, truly pleasing kind, is about honoring the beauty within you and without you.

It’s about knowing that someone else’s definition of pretty has no hold over you.”

-- Golda Poretsky --

I say…  you honour yourself when you trust yourself, your gut, your instincts.

you honour yourself when you allow yourself to be your true being, when you see yourself for who you are and accept what you see - with all your failures, mistakes, and imperfections; with all your successes, accomplishments, and beauty.

you honour yourself when you believe in yourself - when you believe you can be all that you want, when you believe you can do all that you want, when you believe you can have all you want, when you believe you matter. when you believe you are enough. you hour yourself when you believe in you

how do you hour yourself? you trust, allow, and believe in YOU!!

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

--Audrey Hepburn --

We all need to honour ourselves if we are to live vital, vibrant, exciting lives of passion. We need to honour ourselves if we are going to live by our choices. How do we do that? We take responsibility for what we perceive are our needs and desires. We take responsibility for our thought, feelings, and emotions. We take responsibility for our beliefs and our truths. We take responsibility for our actions and the consequences of our actions. We take responsibility for everything. Once we do that, we can begin to create our life in a way that honours what we are responsible for!!!

An important point - we are not on this planet alone, and we cannot succeed by believing we are in this alone and that we must do it alone. The line -”no man is an island” is significant because it is true. We did not come here alone, we do not exist alone, we do not succeed alone. It is not our purpose to be alone. We can choose to be alone, but that is a choice, and those who choose to always and only be alone are not truly living. So, let us remember to honour those who are a part of our lives. When we honour them, we honour ourselves.  Let us honor our parents, our children, our our peers, our neighbors, the people we pass, the people we come in contact with, the people we have known, the people we will know.

i will honor me

i will honor me

in this world i live in

i will do that with

my thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and actions

i will

honor my word

live by my principles

be true to me

i will

listen to my mind, my instincts, my gut

be honest about my needs and my time

love and respect me

i will

look my best

take care of my body

take good care of me

i will

not worry about the other person

not look back or dwell on my mistakes

let all that go and let the past be

i will

remember - what i think, determines what i create

what i put out is what i get back

and how i see others i how they will see me

i will

give it my all and do it for me

i will honor me

Loving Yourself around Valentine's Day

I wrote this piece two weeks ago. But it has just sat in my save file. For some reason I have been unable to finish it. Well today, is the day. This piece is finished and I am Posting it. I hope you enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it and I hope it remains with you as it has remained in my save file.  It is about Valentine's Day and loving yourself...

Valentine's day came and went. I spent it as I have spent most Valentine's Days - with family and friends. At some point, we got into the usual V-day discussion of whether or not it should be celebrated or ignored because the only people who really benefit are card, chocolate, and flower shops, restaurants and jewelers. Most said they don't celebrate because they show love year round and don't need V-day to show or prove their love.

I gave an answer I still stick with but V-day brought up some other issues for me- like trust. I have come to a few conclusions I have been working on. I would like to share them with you.

First, V-day is like any special occasion day - like birthdays or thanksgiving, or Christmas. It is a day to celebrate love. While there will be those who will financially profit from the day, there is nothing wrong with a special day to say "I love you" to someone. Don't spend money if you are against the commercialism; but don't pass up an opportunity to say "I love you", to show your love. Or if you want to do something nice, without spending a penny; create a book of coupons. You know... "this coupon entitles you to one back massage", "this coupon entitles you to one car wash". Family members or friends... anyone would love this.

But, I think, the thing we are missing is that V-Day is not just about couples. It is about love - love of family, love of friends, love of self. We could have each spent the day loving on ourselves. How often do you take a day to just love yourself? How great would that have been? To have bought yourself you favorite flowers and chocolate? To have taken yourself to the movies or to an art show, or to a massage? What if you had run yourself a nice, hot bubble bath and then enjoedy it with a glass of wine?

It is true you can do these things any day of the week, But how many of us actually remember to take care of ourselves? How many of us treat ourselves as we want others to treat us? How many of us love on ourselves? Perhaps that is how we should have celebrated the day. 

Anyway, thinking about all this made me also think about what loving myself and others actually means. Love is about trust. If you love yourself, you trust yourself. Trusting yourself allows you to trust others and trusting another allows you to love them. Love without trust is not a healthy love - is not really love and does not last.

When you trust yourself - your dreams, your thoughts, your actions, you are more willing to take risks, you are more willing to be open to love. It does not mean you think you are perfect, but it does mean you give yourself credit for your authenticity, and you have faith in yourself and what you stand for. It also means you trust your opinions, feelings, intuition. 

When you trust yourself, your love for yourself grows. When you stand up for yourself, your love grows. Trusting yourself is the beginning of trusting others, just as loving yourself is the beginning of loving others. Sometimes life beats up on us and rather than acknowledging that life can do that, we sometimes blame ourselves. If we do that over a course of time, we stop trusting ourselves, we stop believing in ourselves and then we stop loving ourselves. Then one day, we wake up suspicious of everyone and we wonder what happened.

Days like V-Day can change that. Days that we set aside to love ourselves can restore our faith in ourselves. When we take the time to care for ourselves we remind ourselves that we matter, that we are worth it. This helps us to restore our trust in who we are, how we think, what we feel. This helps us to love ourselves more.

When we begin to trust ourselves, when we begin to love ourselves; we will discover the magic of trusting and loving others... and being trusted and loved. There is nothing like sharing who you are in open vulnerability and having that sharing reciprocated. There is nothing like LeaNiNG In, knowing the other person has you - nothing like having someone LeaN IntO you, trusting that you have them. There is nothing like sharing all of who you are, knowing the other person will accept you... and vice-verse. These are magical moments. I want these for myself. How about you?

I have decided, I am going to have a Valentine's Day year. I am going to take care of me, love on me, trust me. That way I will begin to love others, trust others and have magical moments. Why don't we all have a Valentine's year. I'm worth it. You're worth it. We're all worth it? So, let's do it!!!

"If you don't love yourself,

you'll always be chasing people who

don't love you either."

-- Mandy Hale --

-- asd --

we're back

i know it's been a minute. i bet most of you have forgotten sISTA gIRLS has a blog. Well we do. I write about once or twice a week depending on my moods and what I need to get off my chest. I love it when you respond to the blog and offer suggestions. It doesn't happen, often but when it does, i hear and acknowledge.

so... happy belated new year and all that. i hope you all have been well, that you enjoyed the holidays, are gearing up for Valentine's day (if you celebrate), are okay.

i hope you are enjoying winter, freshly falling snow, cold moonlit nights, snuggling under warm blankets, hot toddies, and comfy sweaters and robes.

we here at sISTA gIRLS have been busy preparing to become a real company. we are... hopefully... going to put out calendars and minibooks, and create a real opportunity for women of all ages, cultures, walks of life, and races to meet and get to know each other and thereby... create long-lasting, strong, supportive friendships.

one of our long-term goals is a wild woman weekend of fun, laughter, good times and memories. one of our short term goals is a "get to know one another" luncheon. we will keep you posted as things begin to fall into place... if things begin to fall in place.

in the meantime, i shall re-post some of our prior posts to spark your memories and give you a feel for what we want to share with you in the future. PLEASE feel free to like, share, pass along, offer suggestions and enjoy.

take care of you

Are you ready to step out... be a risk-taker?

just finished reading an old posting of mine from about five years ago. It was me reviewing a conversation I’d had with a friend, and as a result, acknowledging that I had not been upfront and honest about my feelings about dating again, and that I had not been putting myself out there in my relationships. I had not even realized that I had not been doing this. It is ironic because I had a similar conversation with my sister just last month. She said my actions show that I am not open and willing to put myself out there in relationships. And yet, I am much further along than I was five years ago. Once again, although I was sure I was being open and putting myself out there, I was not.  So to hear that what I thought I was thinking and feeling was not consistent with my actions was surprising..

While I could argue and refute these assessments, what would be the point. Better to honestly examine my actions, or lack thereof and see if they are right - do they match where I am emotionally. I did so and I have to admit it. I have unconsciously wrapped my arms so tight around myself, to avoid pain, that I have not allowed myself room to actually step out, trust and take chances. Or, I have stepped out so far and expected so much, I have pushed people away. So whether I’m not in it or I’m pushing too hard, I am clearly self-sabotaging.

In my prior blog, my friend dared me to write about it in my blog. She said a true blog is about the successes and failures of the writer. She said it would not only help me, it might help others. I believed then that she was right (she usually is), and I believe the same today. Back then I took her challenge, and I am again taking her challenge and sharing our conversation. I am acknowledging that although I have repeatedly said I am ready; I have, unbeknown to myself, done everything but take a sincere leap of faith.

Today, in this post, I acknowledge my inability, in the past, to step out in faith, while acknowledging my desire to enter into happy, healthy, loving relationships (of all kinds). I am indeed ready to be open and trusting, and through that, trust the process and take action when opportunities present themselves (and even create possibilities). I am going to be gentle with myself and allow myself to go with the flow of things while being honest with myself about where I want things to end up. I am going forward with open eyes, open arms and an open, trusting heart.

What about the rest of you? Are you ready to step out in faith? Are you ready to trust the process? Are you ready to be open to possibilities? Are you willing to tell someone how you feel (boss, family, friend, lover). Let’s give it a try. You may be glad you did.

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.

Author Unknown

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?

Frank Scully

an updated blog post - poems, prayers and reflection for sista girls

Even sISTA gIRLS sometimes need a little prayer... especially on a rainy day. Rainy days cause me to pause and reflect. Today, on this first day of November - a month of thankfulness and gratitude, please keep us and ours in your prayers... as we keep you and yours uplifted in prayer. We are spreading smiles and love this November, knowing the world will right up and all will be well. In the meantime, here is a little poem to fill your day.

Hope is a bird singing before the sun does rise

Hope is a flower’s fragrance even sweeter as it dies

Hope is a brilliant sky that preludes that day’s end

Hope is a “really, you too” that signals a new friend

Hope is a thing inspired on a warm and sunny day

Hope is a thing desired when the sunshine’s gone away

Hope is the thing you turn to when your life’s about to bust

Hope is a thing believed in when there’s nothing left to trust

and here is a prayer to fill your heart and spirit

may your day be filled with friends and laughter

may your weekend be filled with family and goodness

may your body be filled with good health

may your heart be filled with light and loving kindness

may your world be filled with beauty

may your soul be filled with peace and joy

may life be filled with sunshine

may your life overflow with happiness and love

and may you always have  sISTA gIRLS to share it all with

LOVE YOU ALL ... TAKE CARE ... until tomorrow

do you have people who support you? are you supportive?

My days lately have been full - very full. I have time for my writing, my businesses, and the course I'm taking in personal development. I make/find time for my responsibilities, my family, my friends, and my animals. With the time that is left, I do me and the things I enjoy. With what is left, I sleep. It is the most busy I have been in years. A couple of days ago, some of my family, my sISTA gIRL and I sat with a glass of wine and a bite of food and discussed life, personal development and our dreams fro the future. It was wonderful. We were all fully connected to each other and fully supportive of our future dreams. It is not the first time we have had this conversation and not the first time we have supported each other.

I was reading through some of my old posts and I came across a blog that had comments I'd like to share with you...

"I live the life I live and do the things I do because of the choices I have made. I accept the consequences of my choices because they are my choices. I try not to complain or gripe, even when I am overwhelmed. I sometimes feel I am in my life alone and that no one understands where I am or how I feel. But then my friend comes along and says something like that  ("I wish I had more money and you more time, I would send you on a trip so you could rest, relax and regroup.") and I realize I am not alone ... that someone cares... that someone understands. That someone is my friend, my girl, mysISTA gIRL  and i am grateful for her.

"We all go through things that take a toll on our lives, our souls, our emotions. We can ignore its effects on us and dig our heels in and keep on or we can remember there are people out there who love us and are willing to help or lend an ear or a shoulder if we would just reach out. Sometimes all they can give is support and encouragement ... but funny ... for me .... that was more than enough. We sat and laughed about good times and what we would do and where we would go if we could. that brief respire made my day and has lingered in the back of my mind for days."

At the end of that post, I thanked my sISTA gIRL for her love and support. She is still my sISTA gIRL, my anam cara, my kindred spirit today and I still thank her for her love and support. But today, I also want to thank my family members who have been there for me, supporting and encouraging me. I also want to thank them and my sISTA gIRL for allowing me the opportunity to give them feedback in an atmosphere of love and vulnerability. They know that I speak from a place of love and support, as they do when they speak to me.

I wish everyone a friend like my sISTA gIRL. I wish everyone family members like mine. I wish everyone to have happy, healthy, loving, harmonious, open, connected relationships. 

May each and everyone of you have friends, family members, and partners who recognize when you are drowning and rescue you with a word, a smile, or a hug; who support you when your stuff is tight and things are going right; and who stand by you just because and ride the wave with you. 

Women

I am really coming to realize I am... we are... emerging as awakened women, enlightened women, transforming women... with the ability to make a difference. I am honored, blessed, proud to be a woman, to have the opportunity... to take the opportunity to make a difference. Women are amazing, fabulous, rocking forces of nature. In honor of women, I would like to share to it with you.  I wrote this some time ago, please, feel free to comment and share... thank you

Women (shadow poetry)

Women

Living wonderfully…

Dancing with

Hearts and souls…

Spirits singing joyous

Songs … Happy and

Vibrant... with

Love and  nature.

Sharing women…

Peaceful and graceful…

Awakening  women

Laughing… alive.

being

Alive…laughing….

Women awakening…

Graceful and peaceful.

Women sharing

Nature and love

With vibrant and

Happy  songs …

Joyous singing spirits,

Souls and hearts...

With dancing.

Wonderfully living…

Women

--written by asd --

Awakened Women

An Awakened Woman

I like to think of myself as an awakened woman. An awakened woman is a woman coming into her spiritual self. She is engaged in a loving and full-bodied, nothing-held-back love affair with the great mystery of life - love. She is in and of the world, but abides in it with fierce honesty, intense openness, deep connection, majestic compassion, gentle grace and freedom. She lives, eats and breathes real love. She meditates, practices some form of spiritual exercise - like yoga and believes life is more than just what we know. She is a force of nature- unstoppable

The longer I live, the more I realize this world needs awakened women… needs what awakened women  have - compassion, intuition, wisdom, interconnection, and an open, giving, nurturing, and inspiring nature. Awakened women listen deeply, respond from our hearts and act based on our instincts.

Awakened women are devoted to a life lived with spiritually, lovingly, freely and openly.  We are advanced seekers on the path to enlightenment. We have exuberant passion, spiritual powers and deep insight and  (fyi) are capable of giving birth to future peacemakers.

Today, let us all be awakened women. Let us be the giving, vulnerable, connected, compassionate, wise, strong, open women the world needs to change and grow towards love and unity. Let us journey to love, explore our passions, discover our sexuality, open to our spirituality and accept our selves wholly and completely as perfectly flawed as we are. Let us be the difference we want to see in the world... it begins with us. Awakened women... we make a difference one day and one step at a time.

rummaging through my mind... thoughts on the greatness of women and being friends

we are all just gorgeous chaos. we want to live lives of wild, carefree abandon. but responsibilities, bills, and life steps in and attempts to force a yoke upon us. many of us rebel or  fight back. but not enough of us. we are all beautiful, inside and out. but society's expectations and the expectations of those we know force us to deny our beauty and adopt the beauty imposed by those who are also not happy with themselves. 

but we... women... we find ways to rise above the malaise of daily existence and the potential humdrum of living. we wear our hearts on our sleeves, share our minds with those willing to listen, and allow our spirits to dwell in places of serenity for relaxation. we dance in the rain, sing in public and laugh out loud. we write poetry from our souls, paint from our hearts, sculpt reality into fantasy, and create music to love by. we love easily, rarely lose hope, take on the problems of many. we strive to help those in need and to heal those in pain. all we ask in return is a safe have in times of stress, to be loved for who we are. to be truly understood, to be seen beyond the masks we wear, and to not be laughed at when our masks slip in public.

we are flawed in our beauty, tremulous in our courage, and imperfect in our striving for perfection. we are cracked, broken and often spit upon by the world. but we will fight for those we love and run headfirst into battle to protect the weaker, younger, inexperienced, naive, and unaware. we allow our light to shine through our cracks, use our brokenness to inspire others and turn the spits into stepping stones.

but we don't do this alone, we are not in this by ourselves. we are each other's friends, and as friends; we are each other's candle- we light the way through the darkness of life. our friendships are the wings that help us soar over the inequalities of existing. our friendships keep our hope breathing and our love vibrant. we... as friends... keep each others songs and share each others dreams. we remember each other's stories - the good and the bad. we are each others backbones and we hold each other up when our own legs fail us.

there is an amazing passage from the audio and dvd version of the secret that causes my heart to swell with joy and exhilaration every time i hear it. it describes us and our friendships. i would like to share it with you...

"I believe that you’re great, that there’s something magnificent about you. Regardless of what has happened to you in your life, regardless of how young or how old you think you might be, the moment you began to think properly there’s something within you, there’s power within you that’s greater than the world, it will begin to emerge, it will take over your life, it will feed you, it will clothe you, it will guide you, protect you, direct you, sustain your very existence, if you let it. Now that is what I know for sure"

you... my friends... my sISTA gIRLS. You are GREATNESS. never forget this. now go forth and show the world just how amazing you are.

how to be your own best friend

there are so many things i have learned in this world that are ... for me .... life lessons. one of the biggest involves the use of the phrase "i am". it is true they are powerful because whatever you put after them can... and often does... shape your reality. i am fat. i am smart. i am happy, i am a loser, i m a winner. whatever you tell yourself often enough becomes your reality. it is not what you tell the world it is what you tell yourself. so be your own best friend and tell yourself only good things. "i am smart, i am healthy, i am the perfect size, i am strong. as a matter of fact an affirmation i learned from the secret is full of "i am's". let me share it with you...

I AM WHOLE, STRONG, POWERFUL, PERFECT, HAPPY, HEALTHY, LOVING HARMONIOUS

how's that for an "i am" affirmation. say it all the time, every chance you get, every time you think of it. it can only help...

i also believe what you put out is what you get back. i try to put out love and kindness and caring and compassion. i believe if enough people put out positive thoughts and feelings, we will infect the world with goodness and more people will share these feelings and thoughts til we one day have a world filled with people who are living, kind, caring and compassionate.

i know we all have lessons we have learned from life. here is a list of lessons shared with me today. i would like to share them with you. though i have heard most of them at least once in my life, they all made sense. some of them resonated deeply within me. i hope they all make sense to you and i hope you find some that resonate deep within you. 

please remember the goal in life is to be your own best friend. it is good for you - your heart and your soul; and it makes you a better friend to others. these lessons help you accomplish that goal. enjoy them and today and always .... take good care of you...

Written by Regina Brett

"To celebrate growing older, she once wrote the 50 lessons life taught her. It is the most requested column she has ever written.

So here is the column:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

succulent wild women

“A succulent wild woman is one of any age who feels free to fully express herself in every dimension of her life.”  by S.A.R.K.

Quite a while ago, I read this book about living life to the fullest with your girlfriends at your side. It was Succulent Wild Woman by S.A.R.K.. I recommend it to those sISTA gIRLS who want to grab life by the fattest end and jump in with their eyes closed. I encourage you to try some of her suggestions. Finally I absolutely encourage you bring a friend along for the ride.

I know this woman ... we have been friends for years. When we were younger, people used to call us Lucy and Ethel because we were always up to something. It is years later and we now live in separate states but we are still tight.We call each other and reminisce about the fun and crazy things we did both together and separately. We have families and responsibilities that prevent us from engaging in the mischief we used to get ourselves involved in but we are just waiting for the chance; and then, once again, the world will be our oyster

We each have friends we love and want to include in these life escapades. They think we are crazy but they are all ready to be crazy with us. We are going to laugh, travel, sing out loud, dance in the streets, say hello to strangers, laugh, help the needy, share love with the unloved, sculpt, write, laugh, paint, be grateful, express kindness, laugh, party, swim, bar-b-que, drink, laugh, play, drink some more, make friends ... basically enjoy the wild, wacky, wonderful world we live in while surrounded by the girlfriends who make our good times even better.

And listen sISTA gIRLS ... You are all invited along!!! Bring your friends and your suggestions. We are going to live life to its fullest with no regrets. We are going to enjoy the width, length and depth of life and we are going to do it together

SO >>> PACK FOR GOOD TIMES  and then PURCHASE YOUR TICKET FROM A FRIEND  so that you can COME ALONG FOR THE RIDE!!!

female friendship fabulosity

Today's post is about the wonderfulness of women friendships ... female friendship fabulosity. I am often surprised when I hear women say that they don’t have women friends, or that they don’t like women or that they find men to be better friends. I have always found my friendships with women to have been and to continue to be fun, uplifting and immensely valuable. 

Building close connections with women is an immensely powerful act. Communicating, laughing, growing stronger and older with each other is a way to strengthen female bonds. When we form such connections, many wonderful things happen. First, you are surrounded by people like you. Women are more likely to and able to understand another woman's wishes and concerns. Second, women value women. When we share friendship, we generally see each other as and treat each other as equals. 

In friendships between women, we hold each other accountable to one another in ways we don’t when we’re interacting with men or someone on a casual basis. With women, we are uniquely invested in overcoming each other's problems and making things work. We rely on each other, communicate our needs to each other and then trust that those needs will be met We use as well as seek kindness and compassion when dealing with our female friends because women are kind and compassionate by nature. 

Women friendships are center to and for women’s experiences. We understand each other's fears, as well as our hopes and dreams. For example, no one’s going to think you are being ridiculous if you say you are scared to walk home alone at night. Women support each other and  confirm and legitimize each other's feelings and experiences. 

Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to have lots of men friends or that having them means you don’t like women  just as it would be wrong and crazy to assume you need only women in your life ... in every aspect of your life. My issue is women saying they aren't friends with women because they don’t like women. Women are the people I have relied on, trusted in and shared my hopes, dreams and biggest secrets with. I have shaped myself, at least partially, through my interactions with them. They have been of immense support to me in a world I have sometimes found to be scary, out of control, and cruel. My strong connections with equally strong women and my friendships with women have been, for me, a source of strength, laughter, support, love and goodness.

lasting friendships

Once your heart awakens to the need to be a friend, the search should begin honestly to determine what you are doing right as well as what you are doing wrong. Once you begin this journey, you can never go back. From then on, you should be inflamed with a special longing to seek to be the best that you can be. You should never again choose to linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment with regards to yourself as well as your friendships. While the need to be a good and true friend can make you reluctant to compromise on your friendships, it should not hold you back from striving toward the summit of friendship … forever together, weathering all storms.

Being a good, true friend – the kind we choose to keep close to our hearts; the kind that will last for the long haul –means being able to fulfill certain requirements. A true friend must be, more often than not, consistent, contributing, self-revealing, and trustworthy.  Be consistent with your time and attention. Don’t just be the receiver of the benefits of a friendship, be a giver as well. Share who you truly are; share your hopes, dreams, secrets, and imperfections. Keep secrets and avoid being judgmental. Avoid constant negativity and toxic behavior.

 Truthfully, you can’t always be all these things without there being misunderstandings and hurt feelings at times. But striving toward these qualities, at least with your inner circle of friends, is the basis of lasting friendships.

poems, reflections and prayers for sista girls

Even sISTA gIRLS sometimes need a little prayer. Please keep me and mine in your prayers these next few days. Thank you kindly. Also bear with me if I take a little longer to get these posts out. The world will right up again and all will be well. In the meantime, here is a little poem to fill your day. I hope you like it.

Hope is a bird singing before the sun does rise

Hope is a flower’s fragrance even sweeter as it dies

Hope is a brilliant sky that preludes that day’s end

Hope is a “really, you too” that signals a new friend

Hope is a thing inspired on a warm and sunny day

Hope is a thing desired when the sunshine’s gone away

Hope is the thing you turn to when your life’s about to bust

Hope is a thing believed in when there’s nothing left to trust

and here is a prayer to fill your heart and spirit

may your friday be filled with friends and laughter

may your weekend be filled with family and goodness

may your body be filled with good health

may your heart be filled with light and loving kindness

may your world be filled with beauty

may your soul be filled with peace and joy

may life be filled with sunshine

may your life overflow with happiness and love

and may you always have  sISTA gIRLS to share it all with

LOVE YOU ALL ... TAKE CARE ... until tomorrow

thank you my friend

The days lately have been full of running around and stress. I have time for my chores and my responsibilities but not much time for me, my friends and the things I enjoy. A couple of days ago, a girlfriend came by to help out and relieve me of the some of the pressure of my days. I was ever so grateful. When there was a lull in the day. my girlfriend and I sat with a glass of wine and a bite of food and discussed life. She said the nicest thing ... "I wish I had more money and you more time, I would send you on a trip so you could rest, relax and regroup."

I live the life I live and do the things I do because of the choices I have made. I accept the consequences of my choices because they are my choices. I try not to complain or gripe, even when I am overwhelmed. I sometimes feel I am in my life alone and that no one understands where I am or how I feel. But then my friend comes along and says something like that and I realize I am not alone ... that someone cares... that someone understands. That someone is my friend, my girl, mysISTA gIRL  and i am grateful for her.

We all go through things that take a toll on our lives, our souls, our emotions. We can ignore its effects on us and dig our heels in and keep on or we can remember there are people out there who love us and are willing to help or lend an ear or a shoulder if we would just reach out. Sometimes all they can give is support and encouragement ... but funny ... for me .... that was more than enough. We sat and laughed about good times and what we would do and where we would go if we could. that brief respire made my day and has lingered in the back of my mind for days.

I said thank you then but I am saying thank you again and dedicating this page to her. I wish a friend like her for each and every one of you ... my sISTA gIRLS. May each and everyone of you have friends who recognize when you are drowning in your own decisions and rescue you with a word, or a smile or a hug. AND MAY YOU HAVE A BIG, BEAUTIFUL, BRIGHT, SUNNY, DAY FULL OF LOVE!!!

long distance friends

A few years ago, i worked in the service industry helping out a friend. While there, I met this really cool lady. We clicked almost immediately. As we got to know each other, I discovered she belonged to the Race of Joseph and as we continued to spend time, our relationship became an Anam Cara friendship. Then the inevitable happened. She moved back home. Her home is hours away. I was sorry to see her go, happy for her to be back with her family. I was also concerned about our friendship. I am not a big caller. It is my weakness. I warned her but agreed to make the effort to keep in touch. We agreed to talk once a week and we did at first. But life got in the way and what happened, we stopped calling each other. Probably more me than her ... but either way, we stopped calling.

I though about us today as I worked on pictures for the blog and our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/FriendsForLifeSisterGirls.  I think of my SISTA gIRL often and the times we spent together with much fondness. Distance has affected how often we speak but has not affected my heart. I still love my friend. We are both on Facebook and so we keep in touch that way ... as do so many of us. I love that Facebook allows people to keep in touch that way. But it does sort of remove some of the pressure to call or write a  letter. I wonder if that means the caliber of friendships will change over they years. In that same vein, I wonder if modern technology will change friendships.

Last summer a bunch of friends and I met for dinner at this Cheesecake Factory spin off (the name escapes me just now). While we were there, four young ladies came in and got a table. Three were in their late teens and one was much younger (probably a little sister). The three older girls each had a cell phone; the younger girl did not. Throughout their time at the restaurant, the three older girls were almost constantly on their cells and the younger girl was pretty much ignored. I wasn't as surprised by the younger girl being ignored as I was by their lack of communication with each other. They sat in their booths texting with their cell phones and laughing. One of my friends suggested that they were talking to each other on their cells instead of out loud. I though to myself, "well isn't that crazy".  Why would they prefer to text each other when they were sitting together? My friends and I got into a lively conversation about technology, friendship and dating today and the youth of today. We resolved no issues but had fun nonetheless.

In the end, what I know is ... technology causes me to wonder how we will talk to, spend time with and deal with each other in the future ... like tomorrow. What else do I know, it is good to see my friend on Facebook. Even if we don't call often. it is better than nothing. But, as I say, it takes the pressure off making the effort to call. I am on Facebook daily so I "see" her daily. It is not as good as a call or a visit but for busy people with busy lives it is enough.

WOW, I was not supposed to be discussing technology and friendship. That is a separate post. I really wanted to talk about the effect of distance on friendships. I just wanted to emphasize distance does not really affect true friendships. When I eventually call my friend or she calls me, we pick up our conversation right where we left off. It is as if time has stood still for us while we were living our separate lives. There are no awkward moments, no hesitations. We share our lives and our goals and dreams as if we were sitting across from each other at our favorite bakery having dessert and tea. I think it is because we share a mutual admiration and affection for one another. I think it is because we know each other cares and that the feeling is genuine. I think it is because we love and respect each other and each others lives. I think it is because we are true Anam Cara friends. Those type of friendships are special and while they should not be taken for granted or taken lightly, they do "take a lickin and keep on tickin".

So this post is dedicated to my long distance Anam Cara friend from The Race of Joseph. She is my fiend, my sISTA gIRL and she will always have my heart. I will call her today. I know you guys have long distance friendships ... call one today. but, while you are here, share. 

my sISTA gIRLS!!!

Sorry about yesterday. It was one of those crazy days in which I never got a chance to write. We here at Sista Girls Cafe know I enjoy sharing with you and we hope that you enjoy what I have to say. Friendship are a cornerstone of life and we are glad to have a chance to share thoughts on friendship with you and possibly make new friends. We encourage you, if you enjoy this blog, to spread the word so that others can read and comment and share with us. A dialogue between us would be great. So today is all about you ... my sISTA gIRLS.

My sista girls

Will always be around

My sista girls

Never put me down

My sista girls

I can trust you

My sista girls

I know you always be true

My sista girls

You are the best

My sista girls

You’re above all the rest

My sista girls

In you I confide

My sista girls

In my heart you abide

My sista girls

Together to the end

My sista girls

My best friends

sISTA gIRLS ... We love you and are glad to be sharing our journey through this life wth you