being there

I know there are those of you out there in the world who are lonely or troubled. May we here at sISTA gIRLS Cafe be there for you. May we be your rock and your shoulder ... if not in person at least in spirit. 

But even I know that is not enough. You must find a way to be there for yourself. For those of you who are lonely, find a church or an organization that interests you and join. Be kind and friendly. Extend the hand of friendship to a fellow member. I am certain it will be received warmly and honestly. Or volunteer to help out somewhere, giving is always rewarded ... as is kindness. Moreover, you will have a good time. Nothing is more rewarding than helping another. It also helps to take your mind off your own problems.

For those of you who are troubled, remember ... we all go through things and even the happiest of people have down days. But, today is a perfect day to begin to heal yourself. Take a walk in the sunshine,let the wind caress your cheeks and play with your hair. Stretch your muscles and fill your lungs with the energy of the world around you. Walking is good for the body and spending time out in the sun is good for you spirit. It can be a real spirit lifter. 

As you walk, enjoy the scenery and say a quick thank you for all the sights you wish to experience ... couples in love, couples with children, those well dressed, those in great shape ... whatever it is. By appreciating others with what you have, you let the universe know what is in your heart so that it can bring your heart's desire to you. What we are grateful for we get more of.

Enjoy today having faith in the possibility of tomorrow. And know that we at the Cafe love you and have your back. We were here yesterday, are here today and we will be here tomorrow.  AND ... In The Meantime ...

May you be have happy and loving friendships

That your heart might remain open

May your friendships fill you with the confidence to be you

That the light of your true nature might shine forth because of their acceptance of you

May acceptance remove all traces of shame from you, replacing that shame with the joy of self acceptance

That their acceptance might help you to allow others to reveal their true nature to you without shame

May your friendships be healing

That you might become a source of healing for others

May your friendships fill you with trust

That trust might allow you to express yourself openly and honestly to yourself and others

May you be filled with a light and loving heart

That your love might fill the air with beauty and kindness 

May you be happy

That your happiness might radiate from you to fill the world with sunshine

kindred spirits revisited

thought i would update an older post and share it with all of you.

I often refer to true friendship as Anam Cara.  When i do that, I do not mean a “like-minded” friendship, i am referring a rarer friendship. I think of like-minded friends as “kindred spirits”. The dictionary defines a kindred spirit as “an individual with the same beliefs, attitudes, or feelings as oneself”. While the word “like-minded” is a combination of two Greek words, “isos” which means “equal” and “psuche” which means “soul”. The complete meaning of “like-minded” therefore is “equal soul”. When you have  a kindred spirit friendship you are friends with an equal soul or someone just like yourself.

I do enjoy having friends who are like-minded. Indeed, a kindred spirit is fun to have; but how do you learn and grow if you share the same feelings, beliefs and attitudes. In order to grow as a person, we must be challenged. That is what a soul mate friend does. My favorite explanation of soul mates comes from “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. She writes, “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”

She goes on to say, “ A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”

I have a friend like that. She makes me crazy because she tells me the truth about myself whether I like it or not. I listen because I know she loves me and has my best interest at heart. That is a true friend. One who loves you in spite of who you are and is willing to tell you when you need to get it together. Better than that, after she tells, she not only reminds you that she loves you, she shows you. And best, she allows you the privilege of doing the same with her. This is how you grow. Friendship is best when it allows you to grow into the best you that you can be; when it allows you to grow into a loving being ... open to loving for and from others. That is the kind of friendship I have with her. 

In the end, we need both types of  friends  we need like-minded friends or kindred spirits and we need soul mate friends. Friends who see things from our perspective and friends who see where our perspectives can take us. They both love us for who we are and allow us to freely be who that is. Those are the friendships I wish for all of you.

my cat..my joy..my friend

i have had many pets over the years. they have all been a part of the family. usually they were dogs. some years ago, a stray cat began hanging out in front of my house. the cat was scrawny but had the most beautiful green eyes. i felt sorry for the cat. she was always trying to get in my house and all the neighborhood children hung around and insisted i do something to help (i am the neighborhood stray helper). after a few days of this, i asked my girlfriend (a cat lover)  if she would take the cat in. my girlfriend agreed and i brought the cat into my house so that she would not run away and would be here when my girlfriend arrived (in two days) to retrieve the cat.

as you can guess, my girlfriend never showed up. she changed her mind, said she had too many responsibilities to take in a cat again.  i totally understood. i didn't even like cats was now stuck with one. i asked around but nobody wanted a cat...a dog, sure. but not a cat. finally, i reluctantly agreed to keep the cat. she was to be my daughter's. that never happened. the cat seemed to take to me and i, for some reason, seemed to take to the cat. 

i named her peridot. she claimed me for her, i called her mine and we never looked back. what a great choice. she grew into a beautiful, healthy cat with the most amazing green eyes. she was imperial, playful, bossy, distant, loving, greedy, busy, disdainful, and absolutely adorable.  i have grown to love this cat more than i thought possible.

she is sick now. she has cancer. she has lost a ton of weight, can keep no food or water down. she is unable to groom herself, to play, to romp, to jump up onto things. she is barely able to walk. i am putting her to sleep tonight because she is dying and in a lot of pain and i can not bear to allow her to live a shell of her former existence. i know i will  miss her presence in my life and am grateful for the time we have shared these past six years. she proved wrong all the negative things i heard about cats. she is indeed a joy to have around. 

she was more a friend than my dog. dogs are the family member who always needs a hug, plenty of one-on-one time and lots of care. cats seem to be different. mine liked to laze in the sun and spend time alone. but she came out every evening to sit with me...sometimes on me and just spend quality alone time together.she also seemed to know when i was down. she would pop up, rub her head against my leg and wait for me to pick her up. then she would sit in my arms til i felt better. i looked forward to those moments.she is my family but she is also my friend - a friend who is there for me.

not everyone likes animals. not everyone should have a pet. but for those of us lucky enough to have a pet share our lives, to be loved by a pet, we know they bring sunshine to our every day.

so i am thankful for my pet...my cat...my PERIDOT LILY LOVELADY (my daughter and i named her together). i will never forget the impact she has had on my heart and my life.