long distance friends

A few years ago, i worked in the service industry helping out a friend. While there, I met this really cool lady. We clicked almost immediately. As we got to know each other, I discovered she belonged to the Race of Joseph and as we continued to spend time, our relationship became an Anam Cara friendship. Then the inevitable happened. She moved back home. Her home is hours away. I was sorry to see her go, happy for her to be back with her family. I was also concerned about our friendship. I am not a big caller. It is my weakness. I warned her but agreed to make the effort to keep in touch. We agreed to talk once a week and we did at first. But life got in the way and what happened, we stopped calling each other. Probably more me than her ... but either way, we stopped calling.

I though about us today as I worked on pictures for the blog and our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/FriendsForLifeSisterGirls.  I think of my SISTA gIRL often and the times we spent together with much fondness. Distance has affected how often we speak but has not affected my heart. I still love my friend. We are both on Facebook and so we keep in touch that way ... as do so many of us. I love that Facebook allows people to keep in touch that way. But it does sort of remove some of the pressure to call or write a  letter. I wonder if that means the caliber of friendships will change over they years. In that same vein, I wonder if modern technology will change friendships.

Last summer a bunch of friends and I met for dinner at this Cheesecake Factory spin off (the name escapes me just now). While we were there, four young ladies came in and got a table. Three were in their late teens and one was much younger (probably a little sister). The three older girls each had a cell phone; the younger girl did not. Throughout their time at the restaurant, the three older girls were almost constantly on their cells and the younger girl was pretty much ignored. I wasn't as surprised by the younger girl being ignored as I was by their lack of communication with each other. They sat in their booths texting with their cell phones and laughing. One of my friends suggested that they were talking to each other on their cells instead of out loud. I though to myself, "well isn't that crazy".  Why would they prefer to text each other when they were sitting together? My friends and I got into a lively conversation about technology, friendship and dating today and the youth of today. We resolved no issues but had fun nonetheless.

In the end, what I know is ... technology causes me to wonder how we will talk to, spend time with and deal with each other in the future ... like tomorrow. What else do I know, it is good to see my friend on Facebook. Even if we don't call often. it is better than nothing. But, as I say, it takes the pressure off making the effort to call. I am on Facebook daily so I "see" her daily. It is not as good as a call or a visit but for busy people with busy lives it is enough.

WOW, I was not supposed to be discussing technology and friendship. That is a separate post. I really wanted to talk about the effect of distance on friendships. I just wanted to emphasize distance does not really affect true friendships. When I eventually call my friend or she calls me, we pick up our conversation right where we left off. It is as if time has stood still for us while we were living our separate lives. There are no awkward moments, no hesitations. We share our lives and our goals and dreams as if we were sitting across from each other at our favorite bakery having dessert and tea. I think it is because we share a mutual admiration and affection for one another. I think it is because we know each other cares and that the feeling is genuine. I think it is because we love and respect each other and each others lives. I think it is because we are true Anam Cara friends. Those type of friendships are special and while they should not be taken for granted or taken lightly, they do "take a lickin and keep on tickin".

So this post is dedicated to my long distance Anam Cara friend from The Race of Joseph. She is my fiend, my sISTA gIRL and she will always have my heart. I will call her today. I know you guys have long distance friendships ... call one today. but, while you are here, share.