It's all about joy!

It's all about Joy

seek the things in life that bring you pleasure -

seek the work, people, and places,

the experiences that bring you pleasure

for pleasure is medicine

seek the things that fill you with love

the work, places, and experiences that fill you with love

the people that fill you with love to overflowing,

for love has the power to heal

know this… pleasure

when accompanied by love

creates a rapturous feeling

a euphoria, a deep-down, divine,

light-shining , light-feeling joy

that is natural and healing

we need it

we crave it.

we seek it.

when it is missing from our lives

we will seek it

continuously and endlessly

when we have it...

when we have that feeling in our lives...

that deep down divine joy...

we are happier and healthier,

our light glows stronger

our love feels warmer

and spreads farther

and the world shines that much brighter

Creating Your Serenity or Sacred Space

Serenity Space

Serenity within you can lead to a serene world outside … especially if that is what you seek, and if you want to experience serenity within, a serenity space will do the job splendidly. A serenity space is an environment or a space that … just being there … fills your being with a sense of peace and comfort.

For me, it would be the back-porch of a home that overlooked water. There would be comfy chairs and plush cushions. There would be music … new age, chants,classical, piano, and soft sad jazz, like Naima by Coltrane. There would be incense and candles, lots of candles - all shapes, all sizes, some scented, some not, and some that crackled like wood in a fireplace. There would be blankets of all thicknesses; all soft and all long enough to wrap myself in. There would be books of prayer and meditation, and prayer beads. Oh, and I would keep a bottle of wine available and a bottle of whiskey. You never know when a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey will come in handy. They can help … and they taste delicious going down.

This serenity space really works for me on many levels. I like having my spot near water as water can be an incredibly tranquil sight. Combine that with the briny smell and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I am in heaven. But, I need the security of my home for a feeling of safety. A back-porch allows me to separate myself from my house without actually having to leave it. The accessories are items that provide pleasure or comfort or both.

I can see it now. I come home from a long day. I change into something light, airy and comfy. I bring a glass with me out to the back porch … and some matches. I light the candles, turn on the music, pour myself a glass of a full-bodied wine and sit in one of the comfy chairs, while wrapped in one of the soft blankets. Facing the water, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the tides, inhaling the sea air, leaning back and gazing up into a star-filled night … soon, very soon, I feel my muscles unwind and the tension slip from my limbs. Next, I feel my brain ease into a place of pleasure. Within minutes, I am once again in balance and at peace with my world. Yes, this would be my place of serenity, my sacred space, my place for spirit renewal.

But, I do not live near water.  Thus, for those of us who do not live near water, a back-porch without a view will work just as nicely. Or what about a place with a view of mountains, snow, gardens, or trees. Or a room with photos of tranquil sights hung on the walls and ensconced in attractive picture frames. Whatever room it is, wherever it is, most important is that the room itself makes you feel good.

Once you have the room or space, stock it with necessities and things that bring you pleasure. Not too many things. The room should feel peaceful and serene, not cluttered and cramped.

Serenity is best found when one is sharing space and time with nature so if you can't go to nature, bring some nature into your serenity space. Plants, seashells, flowers, or anything in nature that calms your soul and lifts your spirits is appropriate. Add some music or Serenity Space

Serenity within you can lead to a serene world outside … especially if that is what you seek, and if you want to experience serenity within, a serenity space will do the job splendidly. A serenity space is an environment or a space that … just being there … fills your being with a sense of peace and comfort.

For me, it would be the back-porch of a home that overlooked water. There would be comfy chairs and plush cushions. There would be music … new age, chants, and soft sad jazz, like Naima by Coltrane. There would be incense and candles, lots of candles; all shapes, all sizes, some scented, some not, and some that crackled like wood in a fireplace. There would be blankets of all thicknesses; all soft and all long enough to wrap myself in. There would even be a few books of prayer and meditation and prayer beads. Oh, and I would keep a few bottles of wine available and a bottle of whiskey. You never know when a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey will come in handy. They can help … and they taste delicious going down.

This serenity space really works for me on many levels. I like having my spot near water as water can be an incredibly tranquil sight. Combine that with the briny smell and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I am in heaven. But, I need the security of my home for a feeling of safety. A back-porch allows me to separate myself from my house without actually having to leave it. The accessories are items that provide pleasure or comfort or both.

I can see it now. I come home from a long day. I change into something light, airy and comfy. I bring a glass with me out to the back porch … and some matches. I light the candles, turn on the music, pour myself a glass of a full-bodied wine and sit in one of the comfy chairs while wrapped in one of the soft blankets. Facing the water, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the tides, inhaling the sea air, leaning back and gazing up into a star-filled night … soon, very soon, I feel my muscles unwind as the tension slips from my limbs. Next, I feel my brain ease into a place of pleasure. Within minutes, I am once again in balance and at peace with my world. Yes, this would be my place of serenity, my place for spirit renewal.

But, I do not live near water.  Thus, for those of us who do not live near water, a back-porch without a view will work just as nicely. What about a place with a view of mountains, snow, gardens, or trees. Or a room with photos of tranquil sights hung on the walls and ensconced in attractive picture frames. Whatever room it is, wherever it is, most important is that the room itself makes you feel good.

Once you have the room or space, stock it with necessities and things that bring you pleasure. Not too many things. The room should feel peaceful and serene, not cluttered and cramped.

Serenity is best found when one is sharing space and time with nature so if you can't go to nature, bring some nature into your serenity space. Plants, seashells, water or anything in nature that calms your soul and lifts your spirits is appropriate. Add some music and/or table fountains. Both are like a balm of peace to an agitated soul. Fill your room with wonderful smells and scents, like candles, oils, or incense. They can bring the room soothing energies that will help to bring you ease. Finally add to the room whatever gives you pleasure, relaxes your mind or soothes your soul. This will help to give the room a tranquil feel.

Whatever works for you; all that matters is the room gives you a sense of serenity when you need it. You see, we all need a place we can retreat to; a place where we can regain our balance, recharge our energy and even connect with our higher selves. Once you create a beautiful serenity space, just walking past this space will ease your soul.

So, follow your bliss, listen to your spirit, and heed your heart. If you do this, you will create a beautiful serenity space; a space where you can sit, relax, regroup and re-balance. You will create a space that is totally, beautifully, you and it will be good.

Maybe we are...

(photograph by The Hidden Garden)

A friend once asked me if i thought the world would be different if i had not be born.  it was an interesting concept and got me to wondering about people who bring special qualities or traits to the world. What about those who are known as strong or brave or wise or smart or talented? We admire those qualities and some of us long for those qualities… or to be those people. But, i wonder, are they always happy to be known for their quality? Do they always want to be their quality?  I think not - any label - good or bad, is limiting. We don’t know…

maybe the smart wish

they could be naive for a day and watch as

people look askance at what

being unaware looks like

and maybe the wise sometimes long to

give foolish responses that no one would notice…

right away

maybe the brave dream about hiding

from danger

and the happy long for a good, hard cry

maybe the truly independent

are lonely

and looking for

just one last word or glance

from someone… anyone

maybe the bad long to be good

and the evil crave the chance to be angelic

just as the right wish once to be wrong

maybe the lost really know where the path is

the confused know what lies ahead

and the committed long to act with reckless abandon

maybe yesterday knows what tomorrow will bring

as an infant remembers a heartbeat

and snow what it feels like to be rain

maybe we lose ourselves in the rhythm

only to find ourselves in the pages of a book

hoping the reader will get on with it…

and change the page

maybe daylight is waiting for the light to fade

as darkness awaits the stars

and maybe the trees have seen enough

and long one day to walk away..

either way, we are who we are

and what we are

…

but aren’t there moments when

we long to lose it for just a while

if for no other reason than to celebrate

when we return home

to who and what we are…

ahhh…  

-- asd --

let's All Be "Whimspiragical"

Let’s All be Whimspiragical!!!

Whimspiragical - whimsical, inspirational and magical

I want the soul of my life to be orange!! Orange combines the energy of red and the happiness of yellow. It is associated with joy and sunshine. Orange represents enthusiasm, fascination, and happiness. It signifies creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation. Orange is not as hot headed as red, but is still a bit feisty. The advantage of being orange is you don’t stay angry or sad, you shift easily…  becoming warm, happy and friendly like yellow!

An orange life is a life grounded in, and in touch with, mother nature. Those living an orange life love music. They usually have a song or a tune for the special moments of their lives; they tend to associate people, places, and events with music; they sing and dance with abandon;  and become the rhythm and the melody of nature. They often walk to their own beat- in step with the rhythm of nature

Souls living an orange life are in touch with the natural world. They enjoy every season, knowing each one holds its own special charm, and appreciate the necessity for each - knowing it maintains the balance of nature. They love animals and flora and fauna. Orange lifers stop to smell the roses, respect animals and will find a way to help anyone - person or animal in need, wherever and whenever possible.

Orange life livers are in tune with their creativity. They listen to their inner voice and look for opportunity to spend time creatively. Orange life livers are aware that one’s creativity is one’s inner voice. They realize when we allow our inner voices to shine, we shine as well, and our light grows brighter.

Orange life livers are outrageous. They are firm believers in dreams; and in loving, laughing, being vulnerable, and sitting in serenity. They find time to do all they want and need. They accept their vulnerability and open themselves up - knowing openness exposes them to possibilities. They spend quiet time - knowing serenity is necessary to keep themselves in balance. They look for opportunities to laugh - to share laughter, encourage laughter and don’t even mind being the brunt of healthy, positive laughter- knowing laughter is healing.

(photograph by The Hidden Garden)

You can see why I want the soul of an orange life. But it is  more than this. Mostly, as an orange life, I get to be with love. This is important to me because I want to love so completely, I become love. Orange life livers believe in the beauty and joy that love brings. It fills them, spills from them, and flows out into the world. They are lovers and light bearers through that love. They change the world - one person at a time.

And so, I want to be a soul in an orange life. No… stop… I am the soul of an orange life. I am a creative being who needs time to laugh and to be serene. I need time in nature and time to be alone. I need to sing and to dance, and to express the music that is inside of me. I need to laugh, dream, and to be open. I need to love.

Mostly, I need to love. Truly, I need to love - to give and to receive love with open arms and heart. I need to spread love and fill the world with love, that my light and the light of others might shine brightly, filling the world with divine love and light… and… whimspiragic.

Souls living an 0range life are whimspiragical. We fill the world with the whimsy of laughter. We inspire the world to be loving and full of light.  With all of our optimism about life, nature, its seasons, and love, you know we trust and believe in magic. Well… we trust in the magic that love provides, in the magical moments that openness encourages. and in the magical events that happen when we believe that love is there for all to enjoy, and we trust that magic, in the form of blessings, exist for everyone.

Maybe we should all be souls living an orange life. Whimspiragical, souls living an orange life. We are a unique combination - we are possibly the most loving dreamers, while being the most down-to-earth, in-touch men and women of all. Doesn't everyone want to be a whimspiragical soul living an orange life? I do!

Wait… I am!

-- by asd --

-- thanks to Bro-Tations for the inspiration!!! --

My Cracks and Golden Repair

Sometimes I feel I am an egg: all hard on the outside; soft and mushy on the inside. If you touch me too hard, I might break. If you say the wrong thing, pieces of me might break off. When bad things happen, I suffer cracks. If I am an egg; I am an egg with a cracked eggshell.

But I am learning my cracks not only let light in; they also allow the light, I often forget I have in me, to shine through… maybe even to be a light for others to help them emerge from the dark - just as I am doing.

Kintsukuroi…also known as kintsugi, is a Japanese form of gold joinery. Literally it means to fill with gold. It is an art form and a form of philosophy. When pottery cracks, it is filled with gold or silver lacquer. The filling and the cracks become one as the pottery becomes whole once more. The piece of pottery is now more beautiful for its having been broken open and repaired. Looking at the piece of pottery reminds us that the breakage and repair are part of the object’s history and that it is its imperfection that makes the pottery more beautiful.

I wish we all took the time to look at each other with open eyes; eyes that would recognize that though we are broken, scarred, and imperfect; we can be healed. I wish we could each fill our cracks and brokenness with the golden joining of love, kindness, acceptance and compassion. Then, when we looked at one another, we would see the gold and realize that each of us has fallen, cried, been broken open, but are beautiful. And we would learn two things - (1) it is the broken, scarred, imperfect parts of us that unite us; (2) and that we all can heal and, once healed, are more beautiful because of the experience.

So, if I’m not an egg shining light for others,

I am a soul inside a body that is cracked -

just fill me full of gold

and call me whole,

healed and beautiful

for others to behold…

LoVe SPReaDeRS

I am a light bearer, a love spreader, a joy sharer, a dreamer.  There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we truly content. We seek not so much to explore life, as to explore people. We seek to understand people - why they say the things they say, do the things they do, think as they think, feel as they feel. We start by exploring ourselves, hoping to understand why we do, say, think, and feel the things we do. By understanding who we are, we hope to begin to understand others.

We are earth lovers. We like to walk in the rain, feel the wind tangle in our hair, and the breezes tingle across our skin. We appreciate the beauty of a first snow, the smell of babies, the unconditional loyalty of pets, the sound of birds, the fragrance of flowers, and the serenity of trees. We fill our homes with art, music, flowers, books, and things that bring us joy. We are drawn by Mother Nature - taken by her power, her mystery, her majesty, and her unspeakable beauty. We are intrigued by forests and awe-struck by mountains. We are fascinated by the mystery of deserts, hidden caves, and obscure rivers. We are especially at home in large, lonely cities. We can be as mercurial as the weather in London, our emotions running deeper than the oceans of the world. Indeed, our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter; and finding someone we love to share our sadness with, and not feel shame, is perhaps one of the greatest joys we can know.

We are idealists who often feel alone in the world. We want so much to love and give and are often broken hearted by the response we receive when we open our hearts. Some of us have taken to hiding our light in fear of rejection. Some of us have stopped trusting our natural instinct to love - it is so often misunderstood.  But, we look out for those who are like us, long for those who are willing to understand and accept us, and rejoice when we find those who are willing to love us.

We are as simple as we are complicated. We are both hard to understand and easy to read.  Simply put - we seek joy and light, kindness and compassion, serenity and enlightenment. In ourselves, others, and  the world… just as we look everywhere for magical moments, the grace of blessings, and everything beautiful. Most of all, we seek love - love to give and love to receive. We want to live fully, feel deeply, and enjoy relationships that will encourage our light to brighten, and our love to flow..

For dreamers, light-bearers, joy seekers, and love spreaders…  for men and women who dare to ask of life everything good, loving, light-filled, and beautiful; I say - let us stand together and love. Let us trust and love. Let us bring joy and love. For when we do, our light shines bright, and our love can fill and change the world.

-- asd --

an updated blog post - poems, prayers and reflection for sista girls

Even sISTA gIRLS sometimes need a little prayer... especially on a rainy day. Rainy days cause me to pause and reflect. Today, on this first day of November - a month of thankfulness and gratitude, please keep us and ours in your prayers... as we keep you and yours uplifted in prayer. We are spreading smiles and love this November, knowing the world will right up and all will be well. In the meantime, here is a little poem to fill your day.

Hope is a bird singing before the sun does rise

Hope is a flower’s fragrance even sweeter as it dies

Hope is a brilliant sky that preludes that day’s end

Hope is a “really, you too” that signals a new friend

Hope is a thing inspired on a warm and sunny day

Hope is a thing desired when the sunshine’s gone away

Hope is the thing you turn to when your life’s about to bust

Hope is a thing believed in when there’s nothing left to trust

and here is a prayer to fill your heart and spirit

may your day be filled with friends and laughter

may your weekend be filled with family and goodness

may your body be filled with good health

may your heart be filled with light and loving kindness

may your world be filled with beauty

may your soul be filled with peace and joy

may life be filled with sunshine

may your life overflow with happiness and love

and may you always have  sISTA gIRLS to share it all with

LOVE YOU ALL ... TAKE CARE ... until tomorrow

How to handle a bad day

WE all have bad days. Days when the issues in our life overwhelm us. Days when we want to run screaming from life while pulling our hair out. We know, however, that is not the answer. What should we do instead? When I am having a bad day I try to find time to go out, take a walk, clear my head, release my frustrations. I try to spend some time in meditation and some time in nature, be grateful for my blessings. Then, when i am done, I usually feel better. Meditation calms me, waling in nature clears my head and gratitude fills me with joy. Some days it works like a charm, some days it is not so good. But, for the most part, when I am done I feel better.

 However I feel, when I am done I check to see if my sISTA gIRL is available to go have drinks, or eat, or just spend time with me. She usually knows what I am dealing with. She listens to my troubles, doesn't always say a lot ... just lets me vent. She is a great friend. She is my kindred spirit, my sister, my Anam Cara.

Today, if you are having a bad day ... go commune with nature. it will calm you and remind you of the beauty in the world and your many blessings. Take some time to be in silence, it will allow you to hear your inner voice of calm and remind you that peace is within you whenever you need it. Take a walk or run, or spend some time with a pet or child; it will perk up your spirits to help you feel better. Spend some time in gratitude. Being grateful for the things you already have, the people presently in your life, and the things that ARE going right, help to balance the tables and bring you some joy. Then go hang out with a sISTA gIRL; spending time with her will definitely put a smile on your face.

If, you are in a great mood and having a good day, do the opposite. Find a friend who needs you and just be there for them. Be a shoulder or an ear. Sometimes just your presence is enough to get them back on their feet and feeling better about themselves or the situation.

Whoever you are today, whichever you do, the one thing I know for sure is ...

I learned this Swedish proverb when I was in high school and have never forgotten it. I guess its because over the years, I have learned that friendships are based in love and love is the greatest healing therapy there is and

.......Wait ......

That was my sISTA gIRL calling to make sure I am okay and asking if I want to hang out tonight. You know I said yes. And now, I am out. I love autumn days like this... sunny and not too cold. I 'm gonna go to the park, walk a bit, sit in silence, watch the birds and squirrels, count my blessings and then hang out with my Anam Cara.

Here's wishing you a good life, better days and even better friends. Ciao!!!!!!!!!

Are you expressing gratitude

I purchased The Secret, on DVD and on CD when it first came out some yeras ago, Over the yeras I have listened to and watched it many , many times and one of the things that always stands out is the reference to taking time to say thank you. 

It stood out because during several of the periods in my life when things have seemed rather hopeless... sometimes, before I lamented and complained, I would say thanks for the things that were going right. I figured it would only take a second and then I could get to the stuff really bugging me. Often, however, I would find so much to be thankful for, I would forget what I wanted to complain about.

The Secret recommends that you take time out each day to say thank you for all the things you are grateful for. When I started watching the DVD, I was at a low in my life and figured I would give it a try - it could only help. So I gave it ago. Today, I still try to find time each day to say thank you. Sometimes first thing in the morning, sometimes just before bed and sometimes all throughout the day. I do believe it has helped me to realize all the things, blessings, miracles, and magic I have in my life - even on days when things truly seem bleak. I still sometimes complain after my thanks, but more often now, I am filled with joy and happiness when I think of all my blessings.

So on this day, as we continue on our journey to a better us and a better world; let us begin to take time each day to say thank you for all that is in us and in our lives. Let us recognize the blessings, miracles, moments of magic , kindness and goodness in our lives and express gratitude.

In this vein, I am thankful for my family and my friends. I am thankful for all the children, older people, men and women in my life. I am thankful for my dog, my car and my home. I am thankful for heat, hot water, food and drink in my refrigerator, clothes and shoes in my closet, and the things of beauty in my home. I am thankful for all of my senses and my ability to walk and run, laugh, sing and dance. 

And, while I am at it, I am thankful for fireworks, trees, flowers, sunny and rainy days, cool breezes, and autumn leaves. I am grateful for doctors, teachers, motivators, protectors, healers, historians. I am grateful for farmers, artists, mentors, spiritual guides.... Really, once I get started, I could go on endlessly. The point is, we all have so much to be grateful for, if we would just take a minute to say thank you, we might actually experience a glimpse of heaven in our lives.

Let's all express gratitude for all of creation, including ourselves and start our days off with a joyful bang!

"Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more."
--  Brother David Steindl-Rast (1926 - present) --

childhood friends

Yesterday I spoke to my oldest friend .  I love her dearly. We have known each other since we were in diapers. We have been through a lot together and it is always good to talk with her. When we talk it is as though time has stood still. For just that moment, I am young again sharing good conversation with her on her front steps or up in my bedroom.  

When we talked yesterday, we did something we seem to do more and more often lately.We reminisced. I really enjoy it. I love remembering the things we did as well as who we were many, many years ago. We are very different people and yet a lot of who we are has remained the same.

I hope you have a friend you have known forever. Someone you grew up with. Someone who knows your family history. Someone you have great memories with.  I do. We had pillow fights, food fights, shaving cream vs whipped cream fights. She threw water on me to wake me up and I forced her to get up at the crack of dawn to go running. We snuck into porno films to see what the big deal was and tried Sushi for the first time together. We slept over each other's house and shared our first bottle of imported champagne together.

We dreamed of our weddings and our children and our future together. We shared our dream jobs, dream homes, and dream men with each other. We laughed, shared, cried, dated, broke up, married, divorced, widowed, and had children together. We have lived our lives together ... always ... even when she moved away and we stopped seeing each other almost daily. That is true blue, true gold friendship. I am glad she was my friend growing up and I am glad we are still friends. She knows who I was and how I have changed. There are things that have happened in my life that she was there for and I don't have to explain. She can often read my thoughts and sometimes she even says what I am thinking before I do. She is my friend and I love her.

We all need an old friend. Someone we have known all our lives. They are a mirror to our past; a barometer to our future. All of you out there with friends you have known for years, cherish them and ... the next time you see them, give them a hug. They have earned it ... and so have you

til next time... take care of you

poems, reflections and prayers for sista girls

Even sISTA gIRLS sometimes need a little prayer. Please keep me and mine in your prayers these next few days. Thank you kindly. Also bear with me if I take a little longer to get these posts out. The world will right up again and all will be well. In the meantime, here is a little poem to fill your day. I hope you like it.

Hope is a bird singing before the sun does rise

Hope is a flower’s fragrance even sweeter as it dies

Hope is a brilliant sky that preludes that day’s end

Hope is a “really, you too” that signals a new friend

Hope is a thing inspired on a warm and sunny day

Hope is a thing desired when the sunshine’s gone away

Hope is the thing you turn to when your life’s about to bust

Hope is a thing believed in when there’s nothing left to trust

and here is a prayer to fill your heart and spirit

may your friday be filled with friends and laughter

may your weekend be filled with family and goodness

may your body be filled with good health

may your heart be filled with light and loving kindness

may your world be filled with beauty

may your soul be filled with peace and joy

may life be filled with sunshine

may your life overflow with happiness and love

and may you always have  sISTA gIRLS to share it all with

LOVE YOU ALL ... TAKE CARE ... until tomorrow

what i learned in high school

I was thinking about what to write the other day and I remembered this girl I went to high school with. She blew through a bunch of us girls like wind on a wintry day and then one day we looked up and she was gone leaving a path of destruction like I had never seen before and have not often seen since.

She started with the oldest of us and ticked us off one by one, pitting us against one another, challenging our friendship with each other. I was the youngest of the group. When it was my turn, I was unprepared for her special brand of magnetism and attraction. I fell and I fell hard.

She was tall and slim. She had a head full of jet black hair, wore huge, black rimmed glasses and talked a mile a minute. She laughed a lot, had a smile that lit a room, and leaned her head in real close when she had something to tell you and looked you right in the eye when you were sharing something with her. She made you feel special and everyone wanted to be friends with her. At least in the beginning.

I still remember the day she decided she wanted to be my friend. She sought me out in the cafeteria and sat next to me, pulling her chair close to mine. She said she had been trying for a while to be friends with me but I was so popular she thought I would not want her for a friend. She was smooth and while her statement was not true, it sure made me feel good. I knew who she was. I knew all the people she had been friends with and since I did not know how those had ended (until later), I was honored she wanted to talk to me.

It lasted a week. We walked to classes together, sat together at lunch and talked on the telephone at home. She made me feel special. She said she had never had a friend like me, she only wanted me and we would be best friends forever. I was super happy and forgot all about my other friends … all for her. And it was wonderful. We were best friends forever … well … for one week … my week. And then she moved on.

My friends saw us together and tried to warn me about her. I paid them no mind. They were jealous of us, of the fact that she wanted to be my friend and mine alone. My friends gave up and let me go with a smile of understanding. I gloated about my luck but they knew I would be back.

They were right. She was not a real friend; she was not my real friend. Heck, she was not a friend at all … much less a real friend. At the end of my week I waited for her at our spot and she was not there, After each class, I looked for her but she was not there. At lunch I looked for her and she was not there. Feeling lonely, I went to sit with the friends I had abandoned for my new best friend. They welcomed me as though nothing had happened and I was grateful. While we laughed together, my “best friend” showed up with her new best friend and totally ignored me. She acted as though I didn't exist and my heart was crushed. Everyone at the table was polite to her but did not invite her to join us.  She flounced away from us without a care, laughing together with her new best friend.

When she left I was broken-hearted. But my actual friends felt for me and told me how she had tried to do the same with each one of them with mixed success. The older girls had not trusted her. She had worked her magic on us younger girls. As I listened to them, I learned valuable friend information that day. It still works today.

      True friends spend time with others as well as each other because they know that more friends means more fun

      True friends are not jealous of other friends because true friendship lasts

      Spending all your time with one person, only, is not healthy … there is sooo much out there to enjoy

      If someone drops a friend to be with you, they’ll drop you to be friends with someone else.

      Don’t turn your back on your true friends or take them for granted, it hurts. But if you do, true friends will understand and forgive … and take you back.

I still follow these today.

SO … thanks to all my high school sISTA gIRLS. I still love ya!