LoVe SPReaDeRS

I am a light bearer, a love spreader, a joy sharer, a dreamer.  There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we truly content. We seek not so much to explore life, as to explore people. We seek to understand people - why they say the things they say, do the things they do, think as they think, feel as they feel. We start by exploring ourselves, hoping to understand why we do, say, think, and feel the things we do. By understanding who we are, we hope to begin to understand others.

We are earth lovers. We like to walk in the rain, feel the wind tangle in our hair, and the breezes tingle across our skin. We appreciate the beauty of a first snow, the smell of babies, the unconditional loyalty of pets, the sound of birds, the fragrance of flowers, and the serenity of trees. We fill our homes with art, music, flowers, books, and things that bring us joy. We are drawn by Mother Nature - taken by her power, her mystery, her majesty, and her unspeakable beauty. We are intrigued by forests and awe-struck by mountains. We are fascinated by the mystery of deserts, hidden caves, and obscure rivers. We are especially at home in large, lonely cities. We can be as mercurial as the weather in London, our emotions running deeper than the oceans of the world. Indeed, our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter; and finding someone we love to share our sadness with, and not feel shame, is perhaps one of the greatest joys we can know.

We are idealists who often feel alone in the world. We want so much to love and give and are often broken hearted by the response we receive when we open our hearts. Some of us have taken to hiding our light in fear of rejection. Some of us have stopped trusting our natural instinct to love - it is so often misunderstood.  But, we look out for those who are like us, long for those who are willing to understand and accept us, and rejoice when we find those who are willing to love us.

We are as simple as we are complicated. We are both hard to understand and easy to read.  Simply put - we seek joy and light, kindness and compassion, serenity and enlightenment. In ourselves, others, and  the world… just as we look everywhere for magical moments, the grace of blessings, and everything beautiful. Most of all, we seek love - love to give and love to receive. We want to live fully, feel deeply, and enjoy relationships that will encourage our light to brighten, and our love to flow..

For dreamers, light-bearers, joy seekers, and love spreaders…  for men and women who dare to ask of life everything good, loving, light-filled, and beautiful; I say - let us stand together and love. Let us trust and love. Let us bring joy and love. For when we do, our light shines bright, and our love can fill and change the world.

-- asd --

Loving Yourself around Valentine's Day

I wrote this piece two weeks ago. But it has just sat in my save file. For some reason I have been unable to finish it. Well today, is the day. This piece is finished and I am Posting it. I hope you enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it and I hope it remains with you as it has remained in my save file.  It is about Valentine's Day and loving yourself...

Valentine's day came and went. I spent it as I have spent most Valentine's Days - with family and friends. At some point, we got into the usual V-day discussion of whether or not it should be celebrated or ignored because the only people who really benefit are card, chocolate, and flower shops, restaurants and jewelers. Most said they don't celebrate because they show love year round and don't need V-day to show or prove their love.

I gave an answer I still stick with but V-day brought up some other issues for me- like trust. I have come to a few conclusions I have been working on. I would like to share them with you.

First, V-day is like any special occasion day - like birthdays or thanksgiving, or Christmas. It is a day to celebrate love. While there will be those who will financially profit from the day, there is nothing wrong with a special day to say "I love you" to someone. Don't spend money if you are against the commercialism; but don't pass up an opportunity to say "I love you", to show your love. Or if you want to do something nice, without spending a penny; create a book of coupons. You know... "this coupon entitles you to one back massage", "this coupon entitles you to one car wash". Family members or friends... anyone would love this.

But, I think, the thing we are missing is that V-Day is not just about couples. It is about love - love of family, love of friends, love of self. We could have each spent the day loving on ourselves. How often do you take a day to just love yourself? How great would that have been? To have bought yourself you favorite flowers and chocolate? To have taken yourself to the movies or to an art show, or to a massage? What if you had run yourself a nice, hot bubble bath and then enjoedy it with a glass of wine?

It is true you can do these things any day of the week, But how many of us actually remember to take care of ourselves? How many of us treat ourselves as we want others to treat us? How many of us love on ourselves? Perhaps that is how we should have celebrated the day. 

Anyway, thinking about all this made me also think about what loving myself and others actually means. Love is about trust. If you love yourself, you trust yourself. Trusting yourself allows you to trust others and trusting another allows you to love them. Love without trust is not a healthy love - is not really love and does not last.

When you trust yourself - your dreams, your thoughts, your actions, you are more willing to take risks, you are more willing to be open to love. It does not mean you think you are perfect, but it does mean you give yourself credit for your authenticity, and you have faith in yourself and what you stand for. It also means you trust your opinions, feelings, intuition. 

When you trust yourself, your love for yourself grows. When you stand up for yourself, your love grows. Trusting yourself is the beginning of trusting others, just as loving yourself is the beginning of loving others. Sometimes life beats up on us and rather than acknowledging that life can do that, we sometimes blame ourselves. If we do that over a course of time, we stop trusting ourselves, we stop believing in ourselves and then we stop loving ourselves. Then one day, we wake up suspicious of everyone and we wonder what happened.

Days like V-Day can change that. Days that we set aside to love ourselves can restore our faith in ourselves. When we take the time to care for ourselves we remind ourselves that we matter, that we are worth it. This helps us to restore our trust in who we are, how we think, what we feel. This helps us to love ourselves more.

When we begin to trust ourselves, when we begin to love ourselves; we will discover the magic of trusting and loving others... and being trusted and loved. There is nothing like sharing who you are in open vulnerability and having that sharing reciprocated. There is nothing like LeaNiNG In, knowing the other person has you - nothing like having someone LeaN IntO you, trusting that you have them. There is nothing like sharing all of who you are, knowing the other person will accept you... and vice-verse. These are magical moments. I want these for myself. How about you?

I have decided, I am going to have a Valentine's Day year. I am going to take care of me, love on me, trust me. That way I will begin to love others, trust others and have magical moments. Why don't we all have a Valentine's year. I'm worth it. You're worth it. We're all worth it? So, let's do it!!!

"If you don't love yourself,

you'll always be chasing people who

don't love you either."

-- Mandy Hale --

-- asd --

we're back

i know it's been a minute. i bet most of you have forgotten sISTA gIRLS has a blog. Well we do. I write about once or twice a week depending on my moods and what I need to get off my chest. I love it when you respond to the blog and offer suggestions. It doesn't happen, often but when it does, i hear and acknowledge.

so... happy belated new year and all that. i hope you all have been well, that you enjoyed the holidays, are gearing up for Valentine's day (if you celebrate), are okay.

i hope you are enjoying winter, freshly falling snow, cold moonlit nights, snuggling under warm blankets, hot toddies, and comfy sweaters and robes.

we here at sISTA gIRLS have been busy preparing to become a real company. we are... hopefully... going to put out calendars and minibooks, and create a real opportunity for women of all ages, cultures, walks of life, and races to meet and get to know each other and thereby... create long-lasting, strong, supportive friendships.

one of our long-term goals is a wild woman weekend of fun, laughter, good times and memories. one of our short term goals is a "get to know one another" luncheon. we will keep you posted as things begin to fall into place... if things begin to fall in place.

in the meantime, i shall re-post some of our prior posts to spark your memories and give you a feel for what we want to share with you in the future. PLEASE feel free to like, share, pass along, offer suggestions and enjoy.

take care of you

Are you ready to step out... be a risk-taker?

just finished reading an old posting of mine from about five years ago. It was me reviewing a conversation I’d had with a friend, and as a result, acknowledging that I had not been upfront and honest about my feelings about dating again, and that I had not been putting myself out there in my relationships. I had not even realized that I had not been doing this. It is ironic because I had a similar conversation with my sister just last month. She said my actions show that I am not open and willing to put myself out there in relationships. And yet, I am much further along than I was five years ago. Once again, although I was sure I was being open and putting myself out there, I was not.  So to hear that what I thought I was thinking and feeling was not consistent with my actions was surprising..

While I could argue and refute these assessments, what would be the point. Better to honestly examine my actions, or lack thereof and see if they are right - do they match where I am emotionally. I did so and I have to admit it. I have unconsciously wrapped my arms so tight around myself, to avoid pain, that I have not allowed myself room to actually step out, trust and take chances. Or, I have stepped out so far and expected so much, I have pushed people away. So whether I’m not in it or I’m pushing too hard, I am clearly self-sabotaging.

In my prior blog, my friend dared me to write about it in my blog. She said a true blog is about the successes and failures of the writer. She said it would not only help me, it might help others. I believed then that she was right (she usually is), and I believe the same today. Back then I took her challenge, and I am again taking her challenge and sharing our conversation. I am acknowledging that although I have repeatedly said I am ready; I have, unbeknown to myself, done everything but take a sincere leap of faith.

Today, in this post, I acknowledge my inability, in the past, to step out in faith, while acknowledging my desire to enter into happy, healthy, loving relationships (of all kinds). I am indeed ready to be open and trusting, and through that, trust the process and take action when opportunities present themselves (and even create possibilities). I am going to be gentle with myself and allow myself to go with the flow of things while being honest with myself about where I want things to end up. I am going forward with open eyes, open arms and an open, trusting heart.

What about the rest of you? Are you ready to step out in faith? Are you ready to trust the process? Are you ready to be open to possibilities? Are you willing to tell someone how you feel (boss, family, friend, lover). Let’s give it a try. You may be glad you did.

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.

Author Unknown

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?

Frank Scully

an updated blog post - poems, prayers and reflection for sista girls

Even sISTA gIRLS sometimes need a little prayer... especially on a rainy day. Rainy days cause me to pause and reflect. Today, on this first day of November - a month of thankfulness and gratitude, please keep us and ours in your prayers... as we keep you and yours uplifted in prayer. We are spreading smiles and love this November, knowing the world will right up and all will be well. In the meantime, here is a little poem to fill your day.

Hope is a bird singing before the sun does rise

Hope is a flower’s fragrance even sweeter as it dies

Hope is a brilliant sky that preludes that day’s end

Hope is a “really, you too” that signals a new friend

Hope is a thing inspired on a warm and sunny day

Hope is a thing desired when the sunshine’s gone away

Hope is the thing you turn to when your life’s about to bust

Hope is a thing believed in when there’s nothing left to trust

and here is a prayer to fill your heart and spirit

may your day be filled with friends and laughter

may your weekend be filled with family and goodness

may your body be filled with good health

may your heart be filled with light and loving kindness

may your world be filled with beauty

may your soul be filled with peace and joy

may life be filled with sunshine

may your life overflow with happiness and love

and may you always have  sISTA gIRLS to share it all with

LOVE YOU ALL ... TAKE CARE ... until tomorrow

do you have people who support you? are you supportive?

My days lately have been full - very full. I have time for my writing, my businesses, and the course I'm taking in personal development. I make/find time for my responsibilities, my family, my friends, and my animals. With the time that is left, I do me and the things I enjoy. With what is left, I sleep. It is the most busy I have been in years. A couple of days ago, some of my family, my sISTA gIRL and I sat with a glass of wine and a bite of food and discussed life, personal development and our dreams fro the future. It was wonderful. We were all fully connected to each other and fully supportive of our future dreams. It is not the first time we have had this conversation and not the first time we have supported each other.

I was reading through some of my old posts and I came across a blog that had comments I'd like to share with you...

"I live the life I live and do the things I do because of the choices I have made. I accept the consequences of my choices because they are my choices. I try not to complain or gripe, even when I am overwhelmed. I sometimes feel I am in my life alone and that no one understands where I am or how I feel. But then my friend comes along and says something like that  ("I wish I had more money and you more time, I would send you on a trip so you could rest, relax and regroup.") and I realize I am not alone ... that someone cares... that someone understands. That someone is my friend, my girl, mysISTA gIRL  and i am grateful for her.

"We all go through things that take a toll on our lives, our souls, our emotions. We can ignore its effects on us and dig our heels in and keep on or we can remember there are people out there who love us and are willing to help or lend an ear or a shoulder if we would just reach out. Sometimes all they can give is support and encouragement ... but funny ... for me .... that was more than enough. We sat and laughed about good times and what we would do and where we would go if we could. that brief respire made my day and has lingered in the back of my mind for days."

At the end of that post, I thanked my sISTA gIRL for her love and support. She is still my sISTA gIRL, my anam cara, my kindred spirit today and I still thank her for her love and support. But today, I also want to thank my family members who have been there for me, supporting and encouraging me. I also want to thank them and my sISTA gIRL for allowing me the opportunity to give them feedback in an atmosphere of love and vulnerability. They know that I speak from a place of love and support, as they do when they speak to me.

I wish everyone a friend like my sISTA gIRL. I wish everyone family members like mine. I wish everyone to have happy, healthy, loving, harmonious, open, connected relationships. 

May each and everyone of you have friends, family members, and partners who recognize when you are drowning and rescue you with a word, a smile, or a hug; who support you when your stuff is tight and things are going right; and who stand by you just because and ride the wave with you. 

more on forgiving yourself

in order to love others kindly and gently; love yourself kindly and gently

in order to forgive others, and move on; forgive yourself, and  move on

I say all the time that spirit meets spirit and that the universe rises up to meet us where we are when we are truly connected. That has become evident to me today. Yesterday i wrote about forgiving yourself, last night a friend spoke to me about having to do work on forgiving himself and today the discussion of forgiving one's self and others has continued.

Forgive Yourself

forgive yourself -

the first step to ending

some of your health issues

and the lies you tell yourself

time can eat away at life

forgive yourself

for losing track

there still is so much more

when the walls are closing all around

and you're holding yourself back

forgive yourself -

and release what is keeping you caged

what's the first step to letting go

of the anger toward those

who destroyed your visions -

forgive yourself

when you choose to do

all that you can

to prove you can

when there are things you can’t

forgive yourself

in forgiving yourself

you give yourself

license to forgive others

forgive yourself

in forgiving yourself

you open yourself  

to joy and love

forgive yourself

for in giving yourself

the gift of

forgiving yourself

you also get the opportunity 

to begin again