I wrote this piece two weeks ago. But it has just sat in my save file. For some reason I have been unable to finish it. Well today, is the day. This piece is finished and I am Posting it. I hope you enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it and I hope it remains with you as it has remained in my save file. It is about Valentine's Day and loving yourself...
Valentine's day came and went. I spent it as I have spent most Valentine's Days - with family and friends. At some point, we got into the usual V-day discussion of whether or not it should be celebrated or ignored because the only people who really benefit are card, chocolate, and flower shops, restaurants and jewelers. Most said they don't celebrate because they show love year round and don't need V-day to show or prove their love.
I gave an answer I still stick with but V-day brought up some other issues for me- like trust. I have come to a few conclusions I have been working on. I would like to share them with you.
First, V-day is like any special occasion day - like birthdays or thanksgiving, or Christmas. It is a day to celebrate love. While there will be those who will financially profit from the day, there is nothing wrong with a special day to say "I love you" to someone. Don't spend money if you are against the commercialism; but don't pass up an opportunity to say "I love you", to show your love. Or if you want to do something nice, without spending a penny; create a book of coupons. You know... "this coupon entitles you to one back massage", "this coupon entitles you to one car wash". Family members or friends... anyone would love this.
But, I think, the thing we are missing is that V-Day is not just about couples. It is about love - love of family, love of friends, love of self. We could have each spent the day loving on ourselves. How often do you take a day to just love yourself? How great would that have been? To have bought yourself you favorite flowers and chocolate? To have taken yourself to the movies or to an art show, or to a massage? What if you had run yourself a nice, hot bubble bath and then enjoedy it with a glass of wine?
It is true you can do these things any day of the week, But how many of us actually remember to take care of ourselves? How many of us treat ourselves as we want others to treat us? How many of us love on ourselves? Perhaps that is how we should have celebrated the day.
Anyway, thinking about all this made me also think about what loving myself and others actually means. Love is about trust. If you love yourself, you trust yourself. Trusting yourself allows you to trust others and trusting another allows you to love them. Love without trust is not a healthy love - is not really love and does not last.
When you trust yourself - your dreams, your thoughts, your actions, you are more willing to take risks, you are more willing to be open to love. It does not mean you think you are perfect, but it does mean you give yourself credit for your authenticity, and you have faith in yourself and what you stand for. It also means you trust your opinions, feelings, intuition.
When you trust yourself, your love for yourself grows. When you stand up for yourself, your love grows. Trusting yourself is the beginning of trusting others, just as loving yourself is the beginning of loving others. Sometimes life beats up on us and rather than acknowledging that life can do that, we sometimes blame ourselves. If we do that over a course of time, we stop trusting ourselves, we stop believing in ourselves and then we stop loving ourselves. Then one day, we wake up suspicious of everyone and we wonder what happened.
Days like V-Day can change that. Days that we set aside to love ourselves can restore our faith in ourselves. When we take the time to care for ourselves we remind ourselves that we matter, that we are worth it. This helps us to restore our trust in who we are, how we think, what we feel. This helps us to love ourselves more.
When we begin to trust ourselves, when we begin to love ourselves; we will discover the magic of trusting and loving others... and being trusted and loved. There is nothing like sharing who you are in open vulnerability and having that sharing reciprocated. There is nothing like LeaNiNG In, knowing the other person has you - nothing like having someone LeaN IntO you, trusting that you have them. There is nothing like sharing all of who you are, knowing the other person will accept you... and vice-verse. These are magical moments. I want these for myself. How about you?
I have decided, I am going to have a Valentine's Day year. I am going to take care of me, love on me, trust me. That way I will begin to love others, trust others and have magical moments. Why don't we all have a Valentine's year. I'm worth it. You're worth it. We're all worth it? So, let's do it!!!
"If you don't love yourself,
you'll always be chasing people who
don't love you either."
-- Mandy Hale --
-- asd --
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