we live inside of relationships

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about how we… as people do not realize that we live inside of relationships. it’s sounds great but just what does that mean… we live inside of relationships. i’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure that out. if we are constantly being told to love ourselves first, because the most important thing to know is that we spend more time with ourselves than we do with others, that means we live alone. alone is the opposite of relationships. If we are also told that we live inside of relationships than that means we are not alone and then perhaps we should love ourselves second. but that makes no sense at all. can we love ourselves first and still exist inside of relationships?

I think the answer stems from our understanding of love. love is the energy we live in. we are created from love, born to love, designed to spread and share love and we start first by loving ourselves. once we are able to love ourselves we can love others and that works because other than when we are alone, we are not.

We live in a universe filled with people. everything we do and everything we enjoy involves someone beyond ourselves.  the car we drive was created by someone. when we bought it we dealt with someone. the food we eat was raised by someone, farmed by someone, manufactured by someone, sold to us by someone. the bed we sleep on was made by someone, stored by someone, delivered to us by someone.and so we live inside of relationships, many different kinds of relationships, but still.. relationships. therefore, if we do not acknowledge this, we are missing a major part of life.

If we do not open up to and acknowledge that relationships shape our lives. we will miss out on many things, on many experiences. if we embrace the concept and become aware of the many relationships we experience daily, we realize we are not ever truly alone. once we realize we are not truly alone, we can begin to see how it is that we live inside of relationships. once we get that, we also get that the driving force behind this world is love. and once you open yourself to love, everything changes.

Once you really begin to love yourself, you love to overflowing. once your love overflows, loving yourself will not be enough. you will begin to share that love with others and that love will overflow. you will then want to share your love with the world. once you start to share your love with the world and your love still overflows, you will begin to change the world. once you become a source of overflowing love… your life will change. and we want that to happen because that is our purpose… to love. once we begin to be the source of love, life as we know it will change. The light of love will fill this world and all will be well.

And so, i get it. we live inside of relationships and with those relationships we can change the world. but it all starts with us… and with love.

Addicting Autumn

Addicting Autumn

Autumn can be addicting. You may act as though Autumn is just another month, but it calls to you. “Come, marvel at my colors, cavort in my leaves. Come, dance in my rain, surrender to my mist. Come, savor my petrichor, and sniff my pumpkins. Come and enjoy my season.

You walk around amid rain and changing leaves, amid cooling temperatures and lengthening days. The air is invigorating, the wind crisp. You leave your home in the dusky morning, return with the setting sun. And as the leaves begin to fall, you watch… fascinated… waiting for one to fall at your feet, or on you; as though it was the leaf’s choice, as thought it had moved there on its own, just to get your attention.

Autumn is claiming you. Calling you to pay attention. Now, it is saying; now is the time to let go of things no longer necessary to prepare yourself for the new things awaiting you. Clear out the cobwebs and debris in your life. Make space for the new and improved.

Many people find Autumn an unnecessary season. But I love it. Sometimes it's a comfort just knowing Autumn is around the corner. I marvel at her colors, rejoice in her fruits, even bask in her constantly changing moods. Ah, the delights of Autumn - it reminds me that nothing stays the same, nor should it. It reminds me that I am constantly changing, growing, transforming - inevitably as well as by choice. It helps me when others or things change unexpectedly. I say, "ah, this is their Autumn”, and I remember and understand.

Why do I love Autumn so much? People constantly ask me that question? I have no short, definitive answer. It’s like asking why I love? Because I do. Autumn, has changed me, is the season of change for my life, And Autumn, if you let it, will change your life too.

be present

art by Fred Matthews

When we were children, even though we didn’t realize it, we lived each day fully. We gave no care to yesterday or tomorrow. We were present to the moments and vitally aware of how fun life could be. We laughed and loved easily and constantly. Until our spirits were broken, if we were a child that had our spirit broken; we always got up, always recovered, always were willing to try again, to love again, to laugh again. We never second thought - things would work out, things would get better. We knew that, we trusted that, we expected that, and that was it. It was a good way to live.

When we were children, we had no concept of time. There was only now. We could not see to tomorrow, we never gave a thought to tomorrow. But we got older, we grew up. Life, people, events broke our spirits and taught us that things we wanted could not happen now, we had to wait for tomorrow. We learned that tomorrow was more important than today because that was when things happened. Sadly, now that we are older, we know that this is not the way to live.

As we have gotten older, life’s experiences have chipped away at our childhood innocence… our childhood beliefs. Now, as adults, many of us live lives of intense caution - afraid to trust people, to do too much, to not do enough, to make the wrong move, to make the wrong choice. We laugh less, ignore our perceptions and instincts, choose not to love, refuse to trust, and are afraid to live in the present. We don’t have time, don’t make time to smell the flowers, savor our coffee or tea, soak up the sun’s warming rays, or enjoy a cool fall breeze. We barely have time to appreciate good music, food, and drink, do the things that bring us joy - like spend time with people we care about. We definitely don’t see the humor in life.

Many of us choose to mistrust humankind, to hold our love in reserve, We laugh tight-lipped and smile with just our mouths. We glance so that we don’t have to look and see. We sniff rather than indulge in a full-on smell. We don;t give our all when only half-assed will do.

But limited living will lead to limited life - limited health, limited money, limited love, limited fun, limited happiness. We must stop! We must reconnect to our inner child! We must capture the childhood beliefs we abandoned by the curbside. In capturing the essence of our childhood, we will begin to see and be a part of the beauty of life. Seeing the beauty and joy of childhood will allow us the space to appreciate life in the now. Appreciation will facilitate feelings of trust and feelings of trust will help to open the doors of our hearts so we can begin to love freely and easily. A life full of love, joy, happiness, and beauty is a healthier life A healthier life in the now is a life free from limits and an unlimited life is a life of possibilities.

When do we begin? I say there is no time like NOW! How?

First, take a moment and breathe in… deeply. The air is sweeter and fresher when we breathe from a moment of appreciation rather than a rushed moment. So slowly inhale, hold and then exhale and release the stresses of the moment. All you have is now, enjoy it!

Find time to sing or dance or both. Do it easily, just because. Children love to dance and sing. They are not shy.

Share a joke a funny story. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at life. Laughing is good for the body and the spirit. It also burns calories. laugh every day. It changes your perspective. How bad can life be if you can laugh?

Hug someone, share a smile, do a kindness. It does wonders for you. In fact, it does as much for you the giver as it does for the receiver. It brightens a dark day, lightens a sad moment, enhances even the best of times - it doubles joy.

Do something that you love that you stopped because you thought you were too old. You are never too old to have fun, to smile, to be filled with happiness. Doing the things we love keeps us young and happy. A younger, happier you is a healthier you.

Love! Trust! Take a chance and love! Trust your instincts! Be open to the possibility of love! be available for love! The world is filled with opportunities to love - enjoy it.

Rest, relax, meditate, sit in solitude. Create a serenity space. You need a place within you where you can go to re-balance, re-energize, be in discovery without judgment, and find your creativity. You are after all, a creative being.

Ultimately, the way to live is to be present to life.

be present to the rain - the fat and heavy drops, the soft drops, the wetness and the mist.

be present to your pain so you can find its source, work it through, and let it go.

be present to the people you love - to the friends and family who make the difference in your life.

create moments to remember together

be present to endings - know that endings don’t have to mean wrong or right and are not judgments. Endings mean beginnings are right around the corner.

be present to everything.  be present without a reason other than to be present because NOW is all there is.. now.. and now… and now.

Back To School... Back To Work

It's been years since I have been in school and a few years since I have had to get a child ready for school. So, it was with some pleasure that I watched, on Facebook, parents preparing for a new school year and people preparing to go back to work. It made me think of the song by Soul ll Soul - “Back To Life”. The song says, “show me how/ decide what you want from me/tell me maybe I could be there for you/however do you want me/however do you need me”. I love that phrase.

For the last roughly eighteen months a phrase that has resonated with me has been “be what is wanted and needed”. I have begun to learn to trust that life has me and that things fall into place, even if I don’t understand how. Part of that learning process has been the realization that sometimes when I just show up, with no agenda, my “me-ness” has been what was wanted and needed. Being present to the moment, going with the flow, taking a  moment to just breathe, has… lately…  allowed me to look at things and life from a different perspective. It has worked out so well that now I choose to show up to places and events with no expectation other than to be what is wanted and needed when it is wanted and needed. That has served me well - sometimes I have gone to places only to discover that there is someone there who is wanted and needed by ME! So I am not only a blessing to others, sometimes someone is a blessing to me.

So, today is not a back to school day for me, nor is it a back to work day for me, but it is a “back to the present time” day for me. But it is a day to remember that I don’t live in the future ( although I do prepare for it) and I no longer live in the past (finally let that go). It is a day to remember I live in the present moment and when I find myself slipping back to old habits I remind myself to focus on the present, to be what is wanted and needed in my life as well as others. This is serving me.

For those of you dealing with back to school and back to work, remember to stop and breathe. Remember that you can be present to the moments of school and work. You can be what is wanted and needed in school, at work, and in your life. “Back to” can be a good thing. However do you want it? However do you need it? you can be it? Let’s all get back to it.

Everyone has the potential to be a SuPeRHeRo. You Can Be Your Own SuPeRHeRo

 As I continue to reflect on what it means to be my own Superhero, I share my reflections with you. As I share I begin to put my thoughts into practice. As I begin to practice being my own SuperHero, I step into my SuperPowers. Hopefully, you begin to practice as well and as you step into your SuperPowers, you become your own SuperHero as well.

what do Superheroes have in common? The fight for truth and justice. You can fight for truth and justice. They are dedicated to their own moral code which often includes a willingness to risk their safety in the service of good without expectation of reward.  You can create your own moral code and be dedicated to it. You can also be in the service of good and committed to protecting the public (without having to risk your safety) without expectation of payment or reward. Superheroes combat threats against humanity. You also can take a stand against threats against humanity.

SuperHeroes have a lot in common, but each has a different life story. Some come from money, some do not. Some have money, some do not, Some were born that way, some were created, and some were the result of accidents or experiments that worked (or ones that didn’t), They are each (sometimes reluctantly) learning to fill their own SuperHero shoes while living normal lives.

Superman, out of his costume, is a mild-mannered, working man living a life of contemplation. Captain America is an honorable man who always tries to do the right thing. The Hulk is working on controlling his temper in even the most volatile situations. Thor is learning to be humble and to think of others besides himself and Batman is a generous supporter of charities and mentors several young people who have had similar life experiences.

As you can see, even Superheros are trying to be the best they can be. They are learning about themselves, acknowledging the things they need to work on and perfecting their skills and talents.

We can each work on being humble and generous. We can each spend time in contemplation. We can learn to control our tempers, and think of others. We can each be in contribution or be of service - as in feeding the hungry, mentoring the young, reading to the elderly, creating life-sustaining gardens, or beautifying your neighborhoods.

We’ve learned we can each do the things SuperHeroes do while in costume. And now it is clear - we can each, in our own ways, and as we so choose, do the same things that SuperHeros do out of costume. The point is Superheros are simply people who have chosen to use their special, supernatural, superhuman, or science-created powers for good.  You have a gift or talent that makes you unique. You too can perfect it and then use it for the good of yourself, others, and humanity as well. And you can do it all while working on being the best you possible.

Now it may be true that none of us will ever leap tall buildings, scale walls, call forth storms, or wield Thor’s  hammer, but that does not mean we will not have the chance to make a difference in the world. We can brighten someone’s day with a smile, be a shoulder for someone who’s sad, share a meal with someone who’s hungry, build a home for someone who’s homeless, or teach someone to read. We can return a lost wallet, help someone with their groceries, be honest when it matters, walk away from a hostile situation, or do a kindness. Everyone has the potential to be a Hero. You can be your own SuPerHeRo.

How To Step Into Your SuPeRHeRo PoWeRS

So, I have been on a SuperHero kick. It is clear to me we all can be our own SuperHero. As such I have created a small SuperHero manual. Thinking about being my own SuperHero has helped me put some things in perspective. I hope it helps you as well.

The SuperHero’s Manual

or

How To Step Into Your SuPeRHeRo PoWeRS and Don Your Cape

1. The Power of Presence - Being Present to and Aware of…

You are here - alive, breathing. Now start living. Be present. Be connected to the moment. Focus on your senses.  Look at yourself. Notice the world around you. Observe life.  Smell the rain, the flowers, the scents of nature. Breathe in the aromas of man - the earthy, musky scents of individuals. Inhale your own natural, individual essence. Listen to the birds, the waves crashing against the shore, a child’s peals of laughter, two lovers exchanging vows. Enjoy the sounds of man - cars honking, singers, musicians, hands clapping, bells ringing. Harken to the voice inside you.  Catch raindrops on your tongue, sip champagne, taste the foods of different cultures. Feel the glide of silk, the solidness of wood, the softness of lambswool, the wetness of water, the heat of a summer’s day.

Being present is a Super Power. Once you understand that, you can connect to almost anything. Once you choose to be present to life, you can use it to work for you. Stare at a problem until you find a way through, over, under, or around it. Your full presence - being present and aware, is the only state in which you can accomplish anything worthwhile.

2. The Power of Choice.

Choice is the on/off button of your power. Every second of your life is really just a choice to live it one way or another. The belief that you have no choice is a choice. In fact, not choosing is a choice. Everything you do, everything you believe - it all stems from choice. Choice is a monumental Super Power. Change your choice and you can change your life. There is no ultimate reality. You choose our reality time and time again. Knowing you have the power of choice can change your world. You can choose the life you live. Really it is all up to you and the choices you make. So choose wisely.

3. The Power of Authenticity.

Whatever you do, “there’s no one you-er than you.” So take off the mask and have the courage to be yourself. Your ultimate power resides precisely in being faithful to who you are deep down - your authentic, original, unique, special essence. You can only touch the extraordinary from a place of honesty. Dare to be different by being true to who you are. Don’t compare yourself to other superheroes. Don’t try to be another Superhero. Be yourself. If you are here, it means there was a demand for you. You are the universe expressing itself as only it can. You haven’t happened before and you will never happen again. Don’t underestimate yourself - you are what is wanted and needed.

4. The Power of Intention.

“In that we intend, when we intend, we become the intention” - ergo - we are intention machines. You are an intention machine. You have the extraordinary ability to create intention from dreams and ideas.  Your intentions generate purpose. Purpose generates meaning, and meaning helps to make sense of life. Once you make sense of life, you realize your connection to the bigger picture - to the world and where and how you fit in the world. Having an intention gives you a goal to seek, a reason to act, a way to be. Intention is a light in the dark SuperPower. It guides your path, giving you a way out of the darkness. The more you intend, the more purpose, meaning and reasons to create, to act, to be.

5. The Power of Spirituality.

Spirituality is not religion. You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. You also don’t have to be spiritual to be religious. However believing in something gives us a something to stand for, a reason to be. Find your holy ground. Seek and acknowledge the divine within you. Know that you are the part and parcel of the greater divine that exists. Know and be in awe of the divine. Know and realize that you’re great but small, and that your greatness comes from the divine. Realize that you exist because of the divine, and that you are a SuPeRHeRo with SuperPowers because of the divine within you…  running through your veins. Trust in the divine within you. When you do miracles happen.

6. The Power of Beauty

I won’t say that beauty is everything, but beauty is a quietly kept SuperPower. It is the best kept Superpower. The ability to see the beauty in yourself and others is life-changing. The ability to see the perfection in imperfection is a gift. I wish you understood that seeing, acknowledging. and appreciating the beauty of all things and all people  allows people the opportunity to feel comfortable in who they are. By allowing your beauty to shine through, you awaken beauty in others and allow them the freedom to let their beauty shine.  I wish everyone would  remove their masks and reveal themselves-  scars, wounds, successes,  glory, and all. There is just as much beauty in scars and wounds as there is in success and glory. Your beauty is enough.

7. The Power of Healing.

This is a seldom used Super Power. Maybe because healing others requires the ability to heal yourself and healing yourself requires courage. You can’t be the you that you want to be if you don’t know who you are, You can’t know who you are if you aren’t willing to take the hard look at yourself and face your own truths. You must be able to see yourself- the perfections and the imperfections, the success and failures, the joys and the sorrows, your light, and your darkness. Take a step back and pull out all your demons. Know that you have the courage to face them, you can figure out what to do with them. This is knowledge and knowledge is power that you can use use to your benefit.

Now, armed with knowledge, you can begin to heal yourself. Know that demons don’t happen by chance. If you have them, the first thing you should look for is the cause. You cannot kill the symptoms, you must kill the demon and you cannot kill the demon if you don't know it’s root. Your pain is a messenger. It will help you get to the cause, the root of the demon; so listen to it and you will begin to fix the real problem. Once you know what to do, give it space and the time necessary and your demons will be taken care of. Then let it go and move on. As you heal yourself you will be able to help others to heal themselves.

8. The Power of Creativity.

Creativity is your operating SuperPower. Creativity is how you navigate the highways of your life.  It is how you breathe life into a concept that originates in your mind’s eye. It helps you recognize your potential, brings your dreams to life, and makes the impossible possible. Creativity, while unique and personal to the individual, is a basic force of life. It bridges the space between the realities and the mysteries of life, and is second only to love in terms of its power. Creativity is how you face challenges, respond to uncertainties, and delve into possibilities. Creativity is how you use all of your other SuperPowers.

9. The Power of Perceptions

Resilience is the ability to maintain stability despite adversity. We are resilient. People are resilient. Whether you believe it or not, you are resilient. You bounce back. It is one of you best Super Powers. It is constantly being used. Granted some are more resilient than others but it is a Superpower. You must work with it.

Life happens - it ebbs and it flows; and fortunes and misfortunes come and go. But there are tools available to help you rally back and stay on track. Your best tool is your perception - how you see things. It is so powerful, it could be a SuperPower. It helps you to rally forth in spite of… it helps you rally because. How you see things determines how you respond and react. If you see the best, if you seek the best in every situation; you will rally  faster. Accepting responsibility and learning from the past will help you bounce back. Family, friends, being social, and doing things you love - those will help you to bounce back faster. Practice and Choice - those will also help you to bounce back faster. Either way, you do bounce back. Resilience allows you to maintain through whatever life throws at you and then come back even stronger from what you learned. Resilience can be a SuperHero’s most effective weapon. So… who’s up for a game of ball?

10. The Power of Gratitude

Gratitude. The ultimate SuPerPoWeR. It attracts what you want, improves your relationships, reduces negativity, lightens darkness, improves your problem-solving skills and helps you learn. Gratitude is an attitude, a choice, and a way of life. When practiced daily it can become a powerful habit. When you are grateful for the people. places, things, relationships, situations, and resources in your life, you begin to attract more… you begin to attract better.

When you exhibit and express gratitude you are happier, healthier, and more energetic. When you operate from a place of gratitude you are less lonely, stressed out, anxious and depressed. When you cultivate gratitude you feel better about your life,  you self esteem increases, feel greater joy and happiness, and are optimistic about the future. Living from a place of gratitude strengthens your heart and immune system, decreases your blood pressure, and gives you more enthusiasm, determination and focus so that you make greater progress toward achieving personal goals.

Gratitude unlocks the fulfillment of life. It turns what you have into enough and enough into more. It brings your attention to the present moment -  where miracles can unfold. The deeper your  appreciation, the more you see with the eyes of the soul and the more your life flows in harmony with the creative power of the universe.. Gratitude is a way to your other SuperPowers. Gratitude turns up all of your other SuperPowers - even love.

-- asd --

Dealing With a Grudge

been thinking a lot lately about friendship, being part of a team and liking people… or not. The Universe has supported me with this by providing me plenty of opportunity to realize some of my ways of thinking and being, on this topic, were wrong so that I could shift my way of thinking. The books I’ve been reading, the guided meditations I have chosen to listen to; they all manage to return me to the place I lately had no desire to visit - my perceptions of people and how I deal with them.

I don’t mean my perceptions of my friends or the people I like. I mean those people who rub me the wrong way… who make the hairs on my neck rise… who make me unconsciously sneer. I am actually thinking of two people. One who I believe snubbed me unnecessarily in a way that felt condescending and trifling. One who was disrespectful in a patronizing, arrogant, holier-than-thou way.

While both of the incidents happened weeks… and months ago. The events still “stick in my craw” - which is shameful. I practice love and kindness, and am working on letting go of things. Yet I have not been able to let go of this. My attitude actually came up during a discussion with a relative. He was surprised that I was holding on to a grudge - a hostile, acrimonious grudge. He was right to be surprised… and disappointed. I was holding onto the grudges with actual pleasure - glee even.

In fact, I was holding onto the grudges, waiting to see the people and… and…. And what? Even I couldn’t say what I was holding on to the grudges for. But I couldn’t seem to let them go. My relative suggested I speak to the people about my issues. But I felt my issues were really too petty for a face-to-face discussion. Why don’t i have a pretend conversation with them, he suggested. I have the conversation as if they were there without actually having them present.

Sure. Why not? Great idea, right? Except I wasn’t there. I wasn’t ready to let go yet. Why? That was the question of the day. Why? I have in the past rarely held a grudge, but these two felt good. I actually got a feel good-feeling from my private little bit of resentment. Shameful and yet still…  it felt good.

When I sat down and really thought about it, I realized it wasn’t the feelings about the incident that were bringing me pleasure, it was the habit. I had held the feelings long enough that I had become accustomed to them. They had taken up residence inside my heart… inside my spirit. That was not good. I am a hoarder and am working on letting go and getting rid of things. Realizing I had done the same thing with my feelings that I did with actual things (hoard and save) really made me re-evaluate things.

I do not want my heart or my spirit filled with negativity of any kind. I want to be filled with love, joy, light, and beauty. The negative feelings I was enjoying were not conducive to the environment I wanted to live in. So I did the work. Separately. For each person… each incident.

I thought about the incident and how it made me feel - remembering the incident like it was yesterday. Then I spoke aloud about the incident  - how it made me feel, all of how I felt. When I finished, I acknowledged my responsibility for the situation, my responsibility for where my feelings had taken me, for who I was being by allowing negative feelings to find space to take root.

Then I sat with all those feelings. I soaked them up, wallowed in them, became them, let them become me. When I was filled with all that “stuff” I let it spew. I said aloud to the invisible person all of my feelings  - about the situation, about them, about our relationship or lack thereof. I spoke until there was nothing left. And then I, feeling lighter and unburdened blew that shit out the door, turned my back and walked away.

A few days later I got sick - congested, sore throat, headache, malaise. It took me a minute, but I realized my body was finally purging itself of all the toxic crap that I was holding on to and didn’t even know. My body was doing what I had done with my heart and spirit - it was getting rid of the toxicity to make space for beautiful, loving possibility. And while I am not feeling my best right now, I know on the other side, I will feel better than ever - new attitude, open heart, loving feelings, while in better health.

As for the incident… what incident. I have totally moved on. What about the two people - well, I have left space for me to see them and treat them as the best renditions of themselves. I will hold them that way and hope they hold me the same. Life is a mirror sometimes and when they hold up the mirror of me, I want them to see love and connection - so that’s what I’m bringing. No matter what they bring. In this aspect of life, it’s all about me and what I’m bring to the table. And I’m bringing LoVe.

It's all about joy!

It's all about Joy

seek the things in life that bring you pleasure -

seek the work, people, and places,

the experiences that bring you pleasure

for pleasure is medicine

seek the things that fill you with love

the work, places, and experiences that fill you with love

the people that fill you with love to overflowing,

for love has the power to heal

know this… pleasure

when accompanied by love

creates a rapturous feeling

a euphoria, a deep-down, divine,

light-shining , light-feeling joy

that is natural and healing

we need it

we crave it.

we seek it.

when it is missing from our lives

we will seek it

continuously and endlessly

when we have it...

when we have that feeling in our lives...

that deep down divine joy...

we are happier and healthier,

our light glows stronger

our love feels warmer

and spreads farther

and the world shines that much brighter

Creating Your Serenity or Sacred Space

Serenity Space

Serenity within you can lead to a serene world outside … especially if that is what you seek, and if you want to experience serenity within, a serenity space will do the job splendidly. A serenity space is an environment or a space that … just being there … fills your being with a sense of peace and comfort.

For me, it would be the back-porch of a home that overlooked water. There would be comfy chairs and plush cushions. There would be music … new age, chants,classical, piano, and soft sad jazz, like Naima by Coltrane. There would be incense and candles, lots of candles - all shapes, all sizes, some scented, some not, and some that crackled like wood in a fireplace. There would be blankets of all thicknesses; all soft and all long enough to wrap myself in. There would be books of prayer and meditation, and prayer beads. Oh, and I would keep a bottle of wine available and a bottle of whiskey. You never know when a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey will come in handy. They can help … and they taste delicious going down.

This serenity space really works for me on many levels. I like having my spot near water as water can be an incredibly tranquil sight. Combine that with the briny smell and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I am in heaven. But, I need the security of my home for a feeling of safety. A back-porch allows me to separate myself from my house without actually having to leave it. The accessories are items that provide pleasure or comfort or both.

I can see it now. I come home from a long day. I change into something light, airy and comfy. I bring a glass with me out to the back porch … and some matches. I light the candles, turn on the music, pour myself a glass of a full-bodied wine and sit in one of the comfy chairs, while wrapped in one of the soft blankets. Facing the water, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the tides, inhaling the sea air, leaning back and gazing up into a star-filled night … soon, very soon, I feel my muscles unwind and the tension slip from my limbs. Next, I feel my brain ease into a place of pleasure. Within minutes, I am once again in balance and at peace with my world. Yes, this would be my place of serenity, my sacred space, my place for spirit renewal.

But, I do not live near water.  Thus, for those of us who do not live near water, a back-porch without a view will work just as nicely. Or what about a place with a view of mountains, snow, gardens, or trees. Or a room with photos of tranquil sights hung on the walls and ensconced in attractive picture frames. Whatever room it is, wherever it is, most important is that the room itself makes you feel good.

Once you have the room or space, stock it with necessities and things that bring you pleasure. Not too many things. The room should feel peaceful and serene, not cluttered and cramped.

Serenity is best found when one is sharing space and time with nature so if you can't go to nature, bring some nature into your serenity space. Plants, seashells, flowers, or anything in nature that calms your soul and lifts your spirits is appropriate. Add some music or Serenity Space

Serenity within you can lead to a serene world outside … especially if that is what you seek, and if you want to experience serenity within, a serenity space will do the job splendidly. A serenity space is an environment or a space that … just being there … fills your being with a sense of peace and comfort.

For me, it would be the back-porch of a home that overlooked water. There would be comfy chairs and plush cushions. There would be music … new age, chants, and soft sad jazz, like Naima by Coltrane. There would be incense and candles, lots of candles; all shapes, all sizes, some scented, some not, and some that crackled like wood in a fireplace. There would be blankets of all thicknesses; all soft and all long enough to wrap myself in. There would even be a few books of prayer and meditation and prayer beads. Oh, and I would keep a few bottles of wine available and a bottle of whiskey. You never know when a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey will come in handy. They can help … and they taste delicious going down.

This serenity space really works for me on many levels. I like having my spot near water as water can be an incredibly tranquil sight. Combine that with the briny smell and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I am in heaven. But, I need the security of my home for a feeling of safety. A back-porch allows me to separate myself from my house without actually having to leave it. The accessories are items that provide pleasure or comfort or both.

I can see it now. I come home from a long day. I change into something light, airy and comfy. I bring a glass with me out to the back porch … and some matches. I light the candles, turn on the music, pour myself a glass of a full-bodied wine and sit in one of the comfy chairs while wrapped in one of the soft blankets. Facing the water, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the tides, inhaling the sea air, leaning back and gazing up into a star-filled night … soon, very soon, I feel my muscles unwind as the tension slips from my limbs. Next, I feel my brain ease into a place of pleasure. Within minutes, I am once again in balance and at peace with my world. Yes, this would be my place of serenity, my place for spirit renewal.

But, I do not live near water.  Thus, for those of us who do not live near water, a back-porch without a view will work just as nicely. What about a place with a view of mountains, snow, gardens, or trees. Or a room with photos of tranquil sights hung on the walls and ensconced in attractive picture frames. Whatever room it is, wherever it is, most important is that the room itself makes you feel good.

Once you have the room or space, stock it with necessities and things that bring you pleasure. Not too many things. The room should feel peaceful and serene, not cluttered and cramped.

Serenity is best found when one is sharing space and time with nature so if you can't go to nature, bring some nature into your serenity space. Plants, seashells, water or anything in nature that calms your soul and lifts your spirits is appropriate. Add some music and/or table fountains. Both are like a balm of peace to an agitated soul. Fill your room with wonderful smells and scents, like candles, oils, or incense. They can bring the room soothing energies that will help to bring you ease. Finally add to the room whatever gives you pleasure, relaxes your mind or soothes your soul. This will help to give the room a tranquil feel.

Whatever works for you; all that matters is the room gives you a sense of serenity when you need it. You see, we all need a place we can retreat to; a place where we can regain our balance, recharge our energy and even connect with our higher selves. Once you create a beautiful serenity space, just walking past this space will ease your soul.

So, follow your bliss, listen to your spirit, and heed your heart. If you do this, you will create a beautiful serenity space; a space where you can sit, relax, regroup and re-balance. You will create a space that is totally, beautifully, you and it will be good.