LIFE IS A WATER PARTY

i thought about it a lot today and it occurs to me that life... that we are like a day at the pool. imagine… our friend is throwing a mid-summer party. everyone knows she has a huge pool and everyone says they’re going. That’s life and everyone is invited to join in the adventure of living to the fullest. You and I… we are going to the party. We will be looking, watching, being present… being aware. We know this party is a reflection of life and how we face it.

You and I… we arrive first. We are excited to swim, and several follow right behind us - they are also eager to join the party and swim. Those who show up early to the party also show up early in life - urgent, eager, responsible, and more than ready to participate. Those who show up on time are also responsible in life - prepared for whatever comes. Those who show up late are casual about life. They probably show up late in other areas of their life as well. The people that don’t show up at all… well… they probably don’t show up in their lives either and they are also not in integrity with their lives as they did not honor their commitment to attend.

You and I… we sit and watch. As we look around, we notice some people are wearing just their bathing suits, some are wearing the suits beneath their clothes, and some are carrying their suits with them. Those wearing their bathing suits are the adventurers in life and happy to be that way. They came to swim and are ready to do just that. All-in is their middle name. Those with their bathing suit on beneath their clothes are explorers. They are ready to swim as well, but they are aware that there are other possibilities out there are prepared for that. Not just single focused nor filled with urgency, they are ready for life, and all its possibilities. Those with just their clothes on (their bathing suits are in a bag with them) are the evaluators, the analyzers, and watchers. They have probably come prepared to swim, but are not committed. They are prepared to swim, may even want to swim, but they are casual about it. They also like to be in control and are not impulsive. They will plan if they are going swimming, when they are swimming, and are confident that their looks and clothes will not be disturbed by the impulse to swim. They may go for adventure, but only in controlled environments.

Okay, we are the first in the pool. We jump in the middle. We don't worry about the temperature or how deep the water is. We go for it. Guaranteed we… and those like us are risk-takers in life. We trust our instincts and our guts. We are up for the challenge and if we mess up; we get up, dust ourselves off, and try again. We are a good way to be. We never miss opportunities, take chances and are ready when possibility calls. But we can be reckless.

While in the water we look around. A few others are slowly easing into the water. They want in but don’t want the temperature shock. They get in but it takes a minute. these are the people who give new things a try, but only after checking it out thoroughly, and then only at their pace. Not impulsive at all, these people are cautious but determined. They are admirable because they don’t give up. They get where they are going even if it takes a while. They don’t miss out either - they are willing to give things and they are less likely to be reckless.

We also notice the ones who sit on the sidelines without even testing the water. These are the people who never get in. These individuals are the ones who give up and walk away from life, they don't even take the time to find out if the water is right. They give up before they have even gotten started. They have been beaten down by life. They know what is out there and they want it, but life has sucked their hope from them. They are afraid, unwilling, or just no longer able. We just look at them and you shake your head. You feel sorry for them and the opportunities they miss - and you should.

Now let’s examine the people on the sidelines testing the water. the ones who just test and test. These individuals are just playing at life. They want to get in but they can’t - their fears have them stuck.  They have let their worries and fears overtake them and so they never achieve their dreams. The best thing about these people - some of them actually find the courage to give the water a try and are usually so happy for having done so.

My favorites however, are those who get in the water just enough to get their legs wet. They walk about and stroll throughout but never get themselves completely wet. I often find them to be spiritually enlightened. They are not adverse to getting in. they are not afraid nor worried. They have simply chosen not to get all the way in, instead they have chosen to enjoy the beauty, coolness, and delight of the water in a gentler fashion… acknowledging the possibility of getting soaked, prepared to be if it happens, yet trusting that it won’t. They see life as an adventure to be appreciated at a gentler level. They are in the midst and happy watching others enjoying the water at all levels and that can be just as delightful as jumping in the middle.

The point - life is a water party and the smartest people are out there getting wet. They get in the water; they don't just sit on the sidelines. They don’t worry if it’s cold, they know their body will adjust. Besides, the exhilaration is good… energizing. My suggestion - take advantage and go for it. after all.. today is really all you have. You might as well make the best of it.

Sometimes I Am So Greedy

Sometimes I Am So Greedy -

Sometimes I think i am so greedy - I want it all.

I want a serene life; one filled with moments of prayer, moments of meditation, moments of silent contemplation, and walks in nature. - where I actually hear my inner voice and feel at peace with myself, others, nature, and the world.

But that is not enough. I also want a life like a bottle of champagne on New Year’s Eve - a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud with joy at the unexpected tickle such pleasure brings.You know what I mean - all dressed up and looking and feeling good. I’m at or going someplace gorgeous, surrounded by lovely people whose company I enjoy the most, eating deliciously decadent foods off beautiful china and drinking luscious campagne from gorgeous cut and tinkling glasses, while laughing, listening to beautiful music, and dancing.

I also want a life filled with beautiful things - flowers, music, dance, art. I want to surround myself with beauty; that I might become beauty; that my heart, soul, and spirit might be filled with beauty; that the world might become a place of beauty. Imagine a world where we see the beauty in everything, appreciate the beauty of differences as well as similarities, where ugly is such a distant memory, the word no longer exists in dictionaries or vocabularies.

And yet I also need space. Space to let myself go, space to just be, space to feel free. Minimalists seem to need very little. To release my need to have things, to hold onto things - this I crave. I think my attachment to things correlates with my reluctance to let go of the past and my issues with change. I need things,however my need of things is diminishing. Nowadays, I seem to need things less and and am loving the concept of empty space more. However, I have yet to say I want to live in a minimalist interior.  I say I love the concept of minimalism. I think that is because minimalism, though lovely to look at, feels distancing and cold. Still the thought of minimalism does appeal to me. It provides space… space which allows the expansion of my soul.

What else do I want? At the end of each day, I want to be able to say I did more than just work to make money or that I just did the things I need to survive. I want my life to be more than a collection of events I did to get through each day. I want to go to bed thinking it was a great day and wake anticipating this new day is going to be at least as amazing.

Yes! I am greedy!

I want to be able to eat what i want, when I want…. within reason; to do what I want, when I want, so long as I hurt or harm no one. I want to sing out loud in the car with the windows open and stay up all night laughing. I want to paint my walls the exact color of the sky at the beach on a early autumn day and always wear the colors and outfits that reflect the strong, loving, sexy, confident, powerful woman I can be.. I want to fall asleep quickly and easily on clean. heated, soft sheets and wake to love. I want to eat cheesy omelettes with sweet tangerines, cold, thick, slices of tomato and slices of warm bacon. I want to throw avant garde parties where people get to know each other without talking. I want to listen to music so beautiful I cry, see and enjoy art so lovely I fill with emotion,  and read books so good they make me bubble over. I want to Iove and be loved by a man so deeply I give all of me with no thought and he shares with me all that he is. I want to commune with my soul, with the souls of those who get me. I want to see the magic and beauty in each moment and share the joy of living with others. I want to be so infectious with my joy and love, I make a difference I want to live in gratitude and light. I want my everyday to make The Great I AM smile, glad that he/she gave life to someone who loves the gift.

be present

art by Fred Matthews

When we were children, even though we didn’t realize it, we lived each day fully. We gave no care to yesterday or tomorrow. We were present to the moments and vitally aware of how fun life could be. We laughed and loved easily and constantly. Until our spirits were broken, if we were a child that had our spirit broken; we always got up, always recovered, always were willing to try again, to love again, to laugh again. We never second thought - things would work out, things would get better. We knew that, we trusted that, we expected that, and that was it. It was a good way to live.

When we were children, we had no concept of time. There was only now. We could not see to tomorrow, we never gave a thought to tomorrow. But we got older, we grew up. Life, people, events broke our spirits and taught us that things we wanted could not happen now, we had to wait for tomorrow. We learned that tomorrow was more important than today because that was when things happened. Sadly, now that we are older, we know that this is not the way to live.

As we have gotten older, life’s experiences have chipped away at our childhood innocence… our childhood beliefs. Now, as adults, many of us live lives of intense caution - afraid to trust people, to do too much, to not do enough, to make the wrong move, to make the wrong choice. We laugh less, ignore our perceptions and instincts, choose not to love, refuse to trust, and are afraid to live in the present. We don’t have time, don’t make time to smell the flowers, savor our coffee or tea, soak up the sun’s warming rays, or enjoy a cool fall breeze. We barely have time to appreciate good music, food, and drink, do the things that bring us joy - like spend time with people we care about. We definitely don’t see the humor in life.

Many of us choose to mistrust humankind, to hold our love in reserve, We laugh tight-lipped and smile with just our mouths. We glance so that we don’t have to look and see. We sniff rather than indulge in a full-on smell. We don;t give our all when only half-assed will do.

But limited living will lead to limited life - limited health, limited money, limited love, limited fun, limited happiness. We must stop! We must reconnect to our inner child! We must capture the childhood beliefs we abandoned by the curbside. In capturing the essence of our childhood, we will begin to see and be a part of the beauty of life. Seeing the beauty and joy of childhood will allow us the space to appreciate life in the now. Appreciation will facilitate feelings of trust and feelings of trust will help to open the doors of our hearts so we can begin to love freely and easily. A life full of love, joy, happiness, and beauty is a healthier life A healthier life in the now is a life free from limits and an unlimited life is a life of possibilities.

When do we begin? I say there is no time like NOW! How?

First, take a moment and breathe in… deeply. The air is sweeter and fresher when we breathe from a moment of appreciation rather than a rushed moment. So slowly inhale, hold and then exhale and release the stresses of the moment. All you have is now, enjoy it!

Find time to sing or dance or both. Do it easily, just because. Children love to dance and sing. They are not shy.

Share a joke a funny story. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at life. Laughing is good for the body and the spirit. It also burns calories. laugh every day. It changes your perspective. How bad can life be if you can laugh?

Hug someone, share a smile, do a kindness. It does wonders for you. In fact, it does as much for you the giver as it does for the receiver. It brightens a dark day, lightens a sad moment, enhances even the best of times - it doubles joy.

Do something that you love that you stopped because you thought you were too old. You are never too old to have fun, to smile, to be filled with happiness. Doing the things we love keeps us young and happy. A younger, happier you is a healthier you.

Love! Trust! Take a chance and love! Trust your instincts! Be open to the possibility of love! be available for love! The world is filled with opportunities to love - enjoy it.

Rest, relax, meditate, sit in solitude. Create a serenity space. You need a place within you where you can go to re-balance, re-energize, be in discovery without judgment, and find your creativity. You are after all, a creative being.

Ultimately, the way to live is to be present to life.

be present to the rain - the fat and heavy drops, the soft drops, the wetness and the mist.

be present to your pain so you can find its source, work it through, and let it go.

be present to the people you love - to the friends and family who make the difference in your life.

create moments to remember together

be present to endings - know that endings don’t have to mean wrong or right and are not judgments. Endings mean beginnings are right around the corner.

be present to everything.  be present without a reason other than to be present because NOW is all there is.. now.. and now… and now.

Dealing With a Grudge

been thinking a lot lately about friendship, being part of a team and liking people… or not. The Universe has supported me with this by providing me plenty of opportunity to realize some of my ways of thinking and being, on this topic, were wrong so that I could shift my way of thinking. The books I’ve been reading, the guided meditations I have chosen to listen to; they all manage to return me to the place I lately had no desire to visit - my perceptions of people and how I deal with them.

I don’t mean my perceptions of my friends or the people I like. I mean those people who rub me the wrong way… who make the hairs on my neck rise… who make me unconsciously sneer. I am actually thinking of two people. One who I believe snubbed me unnecessarily in a way that felt condescending and trifling. One who was disrespectful in a patronizing, arrogant, holier-than-thou way.

While both of the incidents happened weeks… and months ago. The events still “stick in my craw” - which is shameful. I practice love and kindness, and am working on letting go of things. Yet I have not been able to let go of this. My attitude actually came up during a discussion with a relative. He was surprised that I was holding on to a grudge - a hostile, acrimonious grudge. He was right to be surprised… and disappointed. I was holding onto the grudges with actual pleasure - glee even.

In fact, I was holding onto the grudges, waiting to see the people and… and…. And what? Even I couldn’t say what I was holding on to the grudges for. But I couldn’t seem to let them go. My relative suggested I speak to the people about my issues. But I felt my issues were really too petty for a face-to-face discussion. Why don’t i have a pretend conversation with them, he suggested. I have the conversation as if they were there without actually having them present.

Sure. Why not? Great idea, right? Except I wasn’t there. I wasn’t ready to let go yet. Why? That was the question of the day. Why? I have in the past rarely held a grudge, but these two felt good. I actually got a feel good-feeling from my private little bit of resentment. Shameful and yet still…  it felt good.

When I sat down and really thought about it, I realized it wasn’t the feelings about the incident that were bringing me pleasure, it was the habit. I had held the feelings long enough that I had become accustomed to them. They had taken up residence inside my heart… inside my spirit. That was not good. I am a hoarder and am working on letting go and getting rid of things. Realizing I had done the same thing with my feelings that I did with actual things (hoard and save) really made me re-evaluate things.

I do not want my heart or my spirit filled with negativity of any kind. I want to be filled with love, joy, light, and beauty. The negative feelings I was enjoying were not conducive to the environment I wanted to live in. So I did the work. Separately. For each person… each incident.

I thought about the incident and how it made me feel - remembering the incident like it was yesterday. Then I spoke aloud about the incident  - how it made me feel, all of how I felt. When I finished, I acknowledged my responsibility for the situation, my responsibility for where my feelings had taken me, for who I was being by allowing negative feelings to find space to take root.

Then I sat with all those feelings. I soaked them up, wallowed in them, became them, let them become me. When I was filled with all that “stuff” I let it spew. I said aloud to the invisible person all of my feelings  - about the situation, about them, about our relationship or lack thereof. I spoke until there was nothing left. And then I, feeling lighter and unburdened blew that shit out the door, turned my back and walked away.

A few days later I got sick - congested, sore throat, headache, malaise. It took me a minute, but I realized my body was finally purging itself of all the toxic crap that I was holding on to and didn’t even know. My body was doing what I had done with my heart and spirit - it was getting rid of the toxicity to make space for beautiful, loving possibility. And while I am not feeling my best right now, I know on the other side, I will feel better than ever - new attitude, open heart, loving feelings, while in better health.

As for the incident… what incident. I have totally moved on. What about the two people - well, I have left space for me to see them and treat them as the best renditions of themselves. I will hold them that way and hope they hold me the same. Life is a mirror sometimes and when they hold up the mirror of me, I want them to see love and connection - so that’s what I’m bringing. No matter what they bring. In this aspect of life, it’s all about me and what I’m bring to the table. And I’m bringing LoVe.

It's all about joy!

It's all about Joy

seek the things in life that bring you pleasure -

seek the work, people, and places,

the experiences that bring you pleasure

for pleasure is medicine

seek the things that fill you with love

the work, places, and experiences that fill you with love

the people that fill you with love to overflowing,

for love has the power to heal

know this… pleasure

when accompanied by love

creates a rapturous feeling

a euphoria, a deep-down, divine,

light-shining , light-feeling joy

that is natural and healing

we need it

we crave it.

we seek it.

when it is missing from our lives

we will seek it

continuously and endlessly

when we have it...

when we have that feeling in our lives...

that deep down divine joy...

we are happier and healthier,

our light glows stronger

our love feels warmer

and spreads farther

and the world shines that much brighter

Creating Your Serenity or Sacred Space

Serenity Space

Serenity within you can lead to a serene world outside … especially if that is what you seek, and if you want to experience serenity within, a serenity space will do the job splendidly. A serenity space is an environment or a space that … just being there … fills your being with a sense of peace and comfort.

For me, it would be the back-porch of a home that overlooked water. There would be comfy chairs and plush cushions. There would be music … new age, chants,classical, piano, and soft sad jazz, like Naima by Coltrane. There would be incense and candles, lots of candles - all shapes, all sizes, some scented, some not, and some that crackled like wood in a fireplace. There would be blankets of all thicknesses; all soft and all long enough to wrap myself in. There would be books of prayer and meditation, and prayer beads. Oh, and I would keep a bottle of wine available and a bottle of whiskey. You never know when a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey will come in handy. They can help … and they taste delicious going down.

This serenity space really works for me on many levels. I like having my spot near water as water can be an incredibly tranquil sight. Combine that with the briny smell and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I am in heaven. But, I need the security of my home for a feeling of safety. A back-porch allows me to separate myself from my house without actually having to leave it. The accessories are items that provide pleasure or comfort or both.

I can see it now. I come home from a long day. I change into something light, airy and comfy. I bring a glass with me out to the back porch … and some matches. I light the candles, turn on the music, pour myself a glass of a full-bodied wine and sit in one of the comfy chairs, while wrapped in one of the soft blankets. Facing the water, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the tides, inhaling the sea air, leaning back and gazing up into a star-filled night … soon, very soon, I feel my muscles unwind and the tension slip from my limbs. Next, I feel my brain ease into a place of pleasure. Within minutes, I am once again in balance and at peace with my world. Yes, this would be my place of serenity, my sacred space, my place for spirit renewal.

But, I do not live near water.  Thus, for those of us who do not live near water, a back-porch without a view will work just as nicely. Or what about a place with a view of mountains, snow, gardens, or trees. Or a room with photos of tranquil sights hung on the walls and ensconced in attractive picture frames. Whatever room it is, wherever it is, most important is that the room itself makes you feel good.

Once you have the room or space, stock it with necessities and things that bring you pleasure. Not too many things. The room should feel peaceful and serene, not cluttered and cramped.

Serenity is best found when one is sharing space and time with nature so if you can't go to nature, bring some nature into your serenity space. Plants, seashells, flowers, or anything in nature that calms your soul and lifts your spirits is appropriate. Add some music or Serenity Space

Serenity within you can lead to a serene world outside … especially if that is what you seek, and if you want to experience serenity within, a serenity space will do the job splendidly. A serenity space is an environment or a space that … just being there … fills your being with a sense of peace and comfort.

For me, it would be the back-porch of a home that overlooked water. There would be comfy chairs and plush cushions. There would be music … new age, chants, and soft sad jazz, like Naima by Coltrane. There would be incense and candles, lots of candles; all shapes, all sizes, some scented, some not, and some that crackled like wood in a fireplace. There would be blankets of all thicknesses; all soft and all long enough to wrap myself in. There would even be a few books of prayer and meditation and prayer beads. Oh, and I would keep a few bottles of wine available and a bottle of whiskey. You never know when a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey will come in handy. They can help … and they taste delicious going down.

This serenity space really works for me on many levels. I like having my spot near water as water can be an incredibly tranquil sight. Combine that with the briny smell and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I am in heaven. But, I need the security of my home for a feeling of safety. A back-porch allows me to separate myself from my house without actually having to leave it. The accessories are items that provide pleasure or comfort or both.

I can see it now. I come home from a long day. I change into something light, airy and comfy. I bring a glass with me out to the back porch … and some matches. I light the candles, turn on the music, pour myself a glass of a full-bodied wine and sit in one of the comfy chairs while wrapped in one of the soft blankets. Facing the water, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the tides, inhaling the sea air, leaning back and gazing up into a star-filled night … soon, very soon, I feel my muscles unwind as the tension slips from my limbs. Next, I feel my brain ease into a place of pleasure. Within minutes, I am once again in balance and at peace with my world. Yes, this would be my place of serenity, my place for spirit renewal.

But, I do not live near water.  Thus, for those of us who do not live near water, a back-porch without a view will work just as nicely. What about a place with a view of mountains, snow, gardens, or trees. Or a room with photos of tranquil sights hung on the walls and ensconced in attractive picture frames. Whatever room it is, wherever it is, most important is that the room itself makes you feel good.

Once you have the room or space, stock it with necessities and things that bring you pleasure. Not too many things. The room should feel peaceful and serene, not cluttered and cramped.

Serenity is best found when one is sharing space and time with nature so if you can't go to nature, bring some nature into your serenity space. Plants, seashells, water or anything in nature that calms your soul and lifts your spirits is appropriate. Add some music and/or table fountains. Both are like a balm of peace to an agitated soul. Fill your room with wonderful smells and scents, like candles, oils, or incense. They can bring the room soothing energies that will help to bring you ease. Finally add to the room whatever gives you pleasure, relaxes your mind or soothes your soul. This will help to give the room a tranquil feel.

Whatever works for you; all that matters is the room gives you a sense of serenity when you need it. You see, we all need a place we can retreat to; a place where we can regain our balance, recharge our energy and even connect with our higher selves. Once you create a beautiful serenity space, just walking past this space will ease your soul.

So, follow your bliss, listen to your spirit, and heed your heart. If you do this, you will create a beautiful serenity space; a space where you can sit, relax, regroup and re-balance. You will create a space that is totally, beautifully, you and it will be good.

when i choose to love

When I Choose to Love

We are made from love… by love… to love. With love, we have everything. Without love we are without… just… without.

When I choose to love, I allow myself the opportunity to be open, to share my vulnerability, to trust myself and others, and to get connected

When I choose to love, I honor the light, love, beauty, and joy within you because it is also within me.

When I share my light, love, beauty, and joy, I honor all that I was created to be… I honor all that I am as I honor you.

When I choose to love, when I choose to share, and when I allow myself these opportunities, I begin to look at you and the world differently. I actually begin to see you.

In seeing you, I recognize there is no difference between us. We are one… and we are the same - in all our perfection and imperfections

When we become one, our light shines brighter, or love flows stronger, our beauty blossoms wildly, and our joy becomes vibrant.

When I choose love, I also choosing to act from a place of love.

When I choose to act from a place of love, I am choosing kindness - to do a kindness, to be kindness. Kindness is an active expression of love.

When I choose to be kind to myself, I am choosing to love myself. When I choose to be kind to others, I am choosing to love them.

When I choose to be kind, I am choosing love.

And so…  I choose to love. And when I love, my heart recognizes your heart and when I do a kindness, my soul honors your soul.

When we live in a world of love, when love is our first choice, when we see each other, and when we honor each other… our souls begin to recognize and touch each other. And in the end, isn’t that what we want? Your heart to recognize my heart… your soul to recognize my soul.

Maybe we are...

(photograph by The Hidden Garden)

A friend once asked me if i thought the world would be different if i had not be born.  it was an interesting concept and got me to wondering about people who bring special qualities or traits to the world. What about those who are known as strong or brave or wise or smart or talented? We admire those qualities and some of us long for those qualities… or to be those people. But, i wonder, are they always happy to be known for their quality? Do they always want to be their quality?  I think not - any label - good or bad, is limiting. We don’t know…

maybe the smart wish

they could be naive for a day and watch as

people look askance at what

being unaware looks like

and maybe the wise sometimes long to

give foolish responses that no one would notice…

right away

maybe the brave dream about hiding

from danger

and the happy long for a good, hard cry

maybe the truly independent

are lonely

and looking for

just one last word or glance

from someone… anyone

maybe the bad long to be good

and the evil crave the chance to be angelic

just as the right wish once to be wrong

maybe the lost really know where the path is

the confused know what lies ahead

and the committed long to act with reckless abandon

maybe yesterday knows what tomorrow will bring

as an infant remembers a heartbeat

and snow what it feels like to be rain

maybe we lose ourselves in the rhythm

only to find ourselves in the pages of a book

hoping the reader will get on with it…

and change the page

maybe daylight is waiting for the light to fade

as darkness awaits the stars

and maybe the trees have seen enough

and long one day to walk away..

either way, we are who we are

and what we are

…

but aren’t there moments when

we long to lose it for just a while

if for no other reason than to celebrate

when we return home

to who and what we are…

ahhh…  

-- asd --