Creating Your Serenity or Sacred Space

Serenity Space

Serenity within you can lead to a serene world outside … especially if that is what you seek, and if you want to experience serenity within, a serenity space will do the job splendidly. A serenity space is an environment or a space that … just being there … fills your being with a sense of peace and comfort.

For me, it would be the back-porch of a home that overlooked water. There would be comfy chairs and plush cushions. There would be music … new age, chants,classical, piano, and soft sad jazz, like Naima by Coltrane. There would be incense and candles, lots of candles - all shapes, all sizes, some scented, some not, and some that crackled like wood in a fireplace. There would be blankets of all thicknesses; all soft and all long enough to wrap myself in. There would be books of prayer and meditation, and prayer beads. Oh, and I would keep a bottle of wine available and a bottle of whiskey. You never know when a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey will come in handy. They can help … and they taste delicious going down.

This serenity space really works for me on many levels. I like having my spot near water as water can be an incredibly tranquil sight. Combine that with the briny smell and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I am in heaven. But, I need the security of my home for a feeling of safety. A back-porch allows me to separate myself from my house without actually having to leave it. The accessories are items that provide pleasure or comfort or both.

I can see it now. I come home from a long day. I change into something light, airy and comfy. I bring a glass with me out to the back porch … and some matches. I light the candles, turn on the music, pour myself a glass of a full-bodied wine and sit in one of the comfy chairs, while wrapped in one of the soft blankets. Facing the water, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the tides, inhaling the sea air, leaning back and gazing up into a star-filled night … soon, very soon, I feel my muscles unwind and the tension slip from my limbs. Next, I feel my brain ease into a place of pleasure. Within minutes, I am once again in balance and at peace with my world. Yes, this would be my place of serenity, my sacred space, my place for spirit renewal.

But, I do not live near water.  Thus, for those of us who do not live near water, a back-porch without a view will work just as nicely. Or what about a place with a view of mountains, snow, gardens, or trees. Or a room with photos of tranquil sights hung on the walls and ensconced in attractive picture frames. Whatever room it is, wherever it is, most important is that the room itself makes you feel good.

Once you have the room or space, stock it with necessities and things that bring you pleasure. Not too many things. The room should feel peaceful and serene, not cluttered and cramped.

Serenity is best found when one is sharing space and time with nature so if you can't go to nature, bring some nature into your serenity space. Plants, seashells, flowers, or anything in nature that calms your soul and lifts your spirits is appropriate. Add some music or Serenity Space

Serenity within you can lead to a serene world outside … especially if that is what you seek, and if you want to experience serenity within, a serenity space will do the job splendidly. A serenity space is an environment or a space that … just being there … fills your being with a sense of peace and comfort.

For me, it would be the back-porch of a home that overlooked water. There would be comfy chairs and plush cushions. There would be music … new age, chants, and soft sad jazz, like Naima by Coltrane. There would be incense and candles, lots of candles; all shapes, all sizes, some scented, some not, and some that crackled like wood in a fireplace. There would be blankets of all thicknesses; all soft and all long enough to wrap myself in. There would even be a few books of prayer and meditation and prayer beads. Oh, and I would keep a few bottles of wine available and a bottle of whiskey. You never know when a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey will come in handy. They can help … and they taste delicious going down.

This serenity space really works for me on many levels. I like having my spot near water as water can be an incredibly tranquil sight. Combine that with the briny smell and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I am in heaven. But, I need the security of my home for a feeling of safety. A back-porch allows me to separate myself from my house without actually having to leave it. The accessories are items that provide pleasure or comfort or both.

I can see it now. I come home from a long day. I change into something light, airy and comfy. I bring a glass with me out to the back porch … and some matches. I light the candles, turn on the music, pour myself a glass of a full-bodied wine and sit in one of the comfy chairs while wrapped in one of the soft blankets. Facing the water, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the tides, inhaling the sea air, leaning back and gazing up into a star-filled night … soon, very soon, I feel my muscles unwind as the tension slips from my limbs. Next, I feel my brain ease into a place of pleasure. Within minutes, I am once again in balance and at peace with my world. Yes, this would be my place of serenity, my place for spirit renewal.

But, I do not live near water.  Thus, for those of us who do not live near water, a back-porch without a view will work just as nicely. What about a place with a view of mountains, snow, gardens, or trees. Or a room with photos of tranquil sights hung on the walls and ensconced in attractive picture frames. Whatever room it is, wherever it is, most important is that the room itself makes you feel good.

Once you have the room or space, stock it with necessities and things that bring you pleasure. Not too many things. The room should feel peaceful and serene, not cluttered and cramped.

Serenity is best found when one is sharing space and time with nature so if you can't go to nature, bring some nature into your serenity space. Plants, seashells, water or anything in nature that calms your soul and lifts your spirits is appropriate. Add some music and/or table fountains. Both are like a balm of peace to an agitated soul. Fill your room with wonderful smells and scents, like candles, oils, or incense. They can bring the room soothing energies that will help to bring you ease. Finally add to the room whatever gives you pleasure, relaxes your mind or soothes your soul. This will help to give the room a tranquil feel.

Whatever works for you; all that matters is the room gives you a sense of serenity when you need it. You see, we all need a place we can retreat to; a place where we can regain our balance, recharge our energy and even connect with our higher selves. Once you create a beautiful serenity space, just walking past this space will ease your soul.

So, follow your bliss, listen to your spirit, and heed your heart. If you do this, you will create a beautiful serenity space; a space where you can sit, relax, regroup and re-balance. You will create a space that is totally, beautifully, you and it will be good.

honoring yourself

“Beauty shouldn’t be about changing yourself to achieve an ideal or be more socially acceptable.

Real beauty, the interesting, truly pleasing kind, is about honoring the beauty within you and without you.

It’s about knowing that someone else’s definition of pretty has no hold over you.”

-- Golda Poretsky --

I say…  you honour yourself when you trust yourself, your gut, your instincts.

you honour yourself when you allow yourself to be your true being, when you see yourself for who you are and accept what you see - with all your failures, mistakes, and imperfections; with all your successes, accomplishments, and beauty.

you honour yourself when you believe in yourself - when you believe you can be all that you want, when you believe you can do all that you want, when you believe you can have all you want, when you believe you matter. when you believe you are enough. you hour yourself when you believe in you

how do you hour yourself? you trust, allow, and believe in YOU!!

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

--Audrey Hepburn --

We all need to honour ourselves if we are to live vital, vibrant, exciting lives of passion. We need to honour ourselves if we are going to live by our choices. How do we do that? We take responsibility for what we perceive are our needs and desires. We take responsibility for our thought, feelings, and emotions. We take responsibility for our beliefs and our truths. We take responsibility for our actions and the consequences of our actions. We take responsibility for everything. Once we do that, we can begin to create our life in a way that honours what we are responsible for!!!

An important point - we are not on this planet alone, and we cannot succeed by believing we are in this alone and that we must do it alone. The line -”no man is an island” is significant because it is true. We did not come here alone, we do not exist alone, we do not succeed alone. It is not our purpose to be alone. We can choose to be alone, but that is a choice, and those who choose to always and only be alone are not truly living. So, let us remember to honour those who are a part of our lives. When we honour them, we honour ourselves.  Let us honor our parents, our children, our our peers, our neighbors, the people we pass, the people we come in contact with, the people we have known, the people we will know.

i will honor me

i will honor me

in this world i live in

i will do that with

my thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and actions

i will

honor my word

live by my principles

be true to me

i will

listen to my mind, my instincts, my gut

be honest about my needs and my time

love and respect me

i will

look my best

take care of my body

take good care of me

i will

not worry about the other person

not look back or dwell on my mistakes

let all that go and let the past be

i will

remember - what i think, determines what i create

what i put out is what i get back

and how i see others i how they will see me

i will

give it my all and do it for me

i will honor me

Loving Yourself around Valentine's Day

I wrote this piece two weeks ago. But it has just sat in my save file. For some reason I have been unable to finish it. Well today, is the day. This piece is finished and I am Posting it. I hope you enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it and I hope it remains with you as it has remained in my save file.  It is about Valentine's Day and loving yourself...

Valentine's day came and went. I spent it as I have spent most Valentine's Days - with family and friends. At some point, we got into the usual V-day discussion of whether or not it should be celebrated or ignored because the only people who really benefit are card, chocolate, and flower shops, restaurants and jewelers. Most said they don't celebrate because they show love year round and don't need V-day to show or prove their love.

I gave an answer I still stick with but V-day brought up some other issues for me- like trust. I have come to a few conclusions I have been working on. I would like to share them with you.

First, V-day is like any special occasion day - like birthdays or thanksgiving, or Christmas. It is a day to celebrate love. While there will be those who will financially profit from the day, there is nothing wrong with a special day to say "I love you" to someone. Don't spend money if you are against the commercialism; but don't pass up an opportunity to say "I love you", to show your love. Or if you want to do something nice, without spending a penny; create a book of coupons. You know... "this coupon entitles you to one back massage", "this coupon entitles you to one car wash". Family members or friends... anyone would love this.

But, I think, the thing we are missing is that V-Day is not just about couples. It is about love - love of family, love of friends, love of self. We could have each spent the day loving on ourselves. How often do you take a day to just love yourself? How great would that have been? To have bought yourself you favorite flowers and chocolate? To have taken yourself to the movies or to an art show, or to a massage? What if you had run yourself a nice, hot bubble bath and then enjoedy it with a glass of wine?

It is true you can do these things any day of the week, But how many of us actually remember to take care of ourselves? How many of us treat ourselves as we want others to treat us? How many of us love on ourselves? Perhaps that is how we should have celebrated the day. 

Anyway, thinking about all this made me also think about what loving myself and others actually means. Love is about trust. If you love yourself, you trust yourself. Trusting yourself allows you to trust others and trusting another allows you to love them. Love without trust is not a healthy love - is not really love and does not last.

When you trust yourself - your dreams, your thoughts, your actions, you are more willing to take risks, you are more willing to be open to love. It does not mean you think you are perfect, but it does mean you give yourself credit for your authenticity, and you have faith in yourself and what you stand for. It also means you trust your opinions, feelings, intuition. 

When you trust yourself, your love for yourself grows. When you stand up for yourself, your love grows. Trusting yourself is the beginning of trusting others, just as loving yourself is the beginning of loving others. Sometimes life beats up on us and rather than acknowledging that life can do that, we sometimes blame ourselves. If we do that over a course of time, we stop trusting ourselves, we stop believing in ourselves and then we stop loving ourselves. Then one day, we wake up suspicious of everyone and we wonder what happened.

Days like V-Day can change that. Days that we set aside to love ourselves can restore our faith in ourselves. When we take the time to care for ourselves we remind ourselves that we matter, that we are worth it. This helps us to restore our trust in who we are, how we think, what we feel. This helps us to love ourselves more.

When we begin to trust ourselves, when we begin to love ourselves; we will discover the magic of trusting and loving others... and being trusted and loved. There is nothing like sharing who you are in open vulnerability and having that sharing reciprocated. There is nothing like LeaNiNG In, knowing the other person has you - nothing like having someone LeaN IntO you, trusting that you have them. There is nothing like sharing all of who you are, knowing the other person will accept you... and vice-verse. These are magical moments. I want these for myself. How about you?

I have decided, I am going to have a Valentine's Day year. I am going to take care of me, love on me, trust me. That way I will begin to love others, trust others and have magical moments. Why don't we all have a Valentine's year. I'm worth it. You're worth it. We're all worth it? So, let's do it!!!

"If you don't love yourself,

you'll always be chasing people who

don't love you either."

-- Mandy Hale --

-- asd --

another rainy day memory

It rained yesterday and I thought how much I like rain. I like when it mists and when it thunders. So long as I don’t have to drive I am good. I will walk in the rain, play in the rain; but I don’t like driving in the rain. I have lots of memories of wonderful things I have done in the rain. I think of them on days like this.

I remember this one birthday my girlfriend had. She was turning twenty-something … an early twenty number I can’t remember. A bunch of us, all friends, decided to take her to the city (Manhattan) for a birthday lunch. I can’t remember where we ate; but I remember how much fun we had. This was back in the early eighties when going to the city was a big deal. It meant getting dressed in a nice outfit and being on your best behavior. It was such a special occasion; we ordered drinks with our meal. I think we each had two and came away from the restaurant a little tipsy.

 When we left it was still early; the sun was just beginning to set. It was a cool spring day and we were all in a great mood; trying to decide where we would go next. As we walked and talked, it started to rain. We all started talking at once about the movie “Singing in the Rain” and the scene in which Gene Kelly actually dances in the rain with an umbrella. One of my girlfriends spots a lamppost and dares me to dance as Gene did. Why me? Well, I had taken dance lessons and tap lessons for years so if any one of us was going to do it, it would have to be me. “Okay.” I agreed, but only if they joined me.

Then there, in the middle of a block in Manhattan, I, followed by my friends, opened my umbrella and began singing and dancing in the rain. What a blast that was! I can still picture us laughing and dancing and jumping around, and laughing some more! Now some of you may say … “only in New York” but I say … “only with friends”. The best part of this memory … the women I danced with that day are still my friends today. We have been through a lot but we still know how to dance and sing in the rain.

Do you have a favorite rain memory? Share it with us.

solivagants and their friends

So many of us believe we solivagant - wander alone - through the world. we are believers and dreamers. we  are seekers of light and beauty and serenity. we hope eternally and give love easily. we get our hearts broken and yet continue to love. we fall down and pick ourselves up. we get broken open and find ways to heal ourselves all while trying to help and heal others. we wear rose-colored glasses and refuse to take them off... even when the world tries to beat the light out of us.  and when the world does manage to plunges us into darkness, we find a way to turn on our light.

those of us who solivagant need friends who see into our hearts and understand how we try to survive on our own, how we keep our rose-colored glasses close to our hearts and believe things will all work out. we need people who realized we are strong because of our softness and vulnerability and not in spite of. we need people who know we willingly take on the world for those we love and those in need. we need people who will help us to pick up the pieces when our hearts ...again... break open as life reminds us that it can be a cruel task master.

friends help us to laugh at ourselves, see the lighter side of life. friends remind us to look after ourselves and to do for ourselves for a change. friends help us to live in the real world while  allowing us to dream and share our dreams. because we don't just dream for ourselves we have dreams to spare. friends help us to wake from our dreams and return from our wanderings even if we even if only for a little while

so here's to the dreamers and wanderers; know....  you keep the world full of hope and ever aware. here's to their friends ...you remind them they don't dream alone and don't wander without you keeping tabs on where they are. and here's to all of you on your journeys. may you get there together, each in your own way.

She who solivagants

Is free like the wind

Unsoiled by dirt like the lotus

A light in darkness like the moon

But she is only so until caught

Only alone until sought

Quiet until thought

Rushes in where there was naught

But she just wandering alone

Querencia... friends who are a place of home

So I learned this GREAT word yesterday - QUERENCIA. It was defined as “a place from which one’s strength is drawn; where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self”. I thought it was Spanish and so I looked it up in the Merriam –Webster Dictionary to see how Americans defined the word. It said “an area in the arena taken by the bull for a defensive stand in a bullfight”. Not quite the same definition.

When I read the American definition, I wondered at the difference. Was it a difference in perception, a difference in nuance, or a difference in culture? I searched online and found a site that defined the word from a Spanish perspective. It said…” In Spain, it is the place in the ring where the wounded bull goes to renew his strength and center himself, ready for a fresh charge…a place in which we know exactly who we are; the place from which we speak our deepest beliefs.” 

I like this definition and thought –what a wonderful concept. It defines that which we, as Americans have no word for.  In fact, the author goes on to further define the word. She says… “In Spanish, “querencia” describes a place where one feels safe, a place from which one’s strength of character is drawn, a place where one feels at home. It comes from the verb “quere”, which means to desire, to want.”

I love that. She goes even further in her explanation of the word. She speaks about the bull in the fight and what happens to the bull once he gets wounded. She continues, “The wounded bull retreated to a spot to the left of the gate through which he had entered, to rest, it seemed. He had found his querencia: a place where he felt safe and was therefore at his most dangerous. The matador tries not to let the bull find this place, because it increases the danger to himself. For the bull, it is a place where he believes he can survive this unfair game. Unfortunately and cruelly, he almost never does. It is said that if the same bull were to fight more than once in the ring, every matador would die; once an animal learns the game and stands in his power, he cannot be defeated.”

I understand why we don’t have a comparable word in the American language; we do not have bull fights. But for many of us, life is a bullfight and we are the bull. Thankfully, we do not die every time we step into the ring of life. Thankfully, most of us have a querencia to go to. A place where we can lick our wounds, heal and come out fighting once again. A place where we can process what we have learned so we don’t continue to make the same mistakes. A place where we can regroup, refocus and gain a proper perspective. A place from which we, like the bull, can finally learn the game of life and then stand in our power confident we can never be defeated.

 So I am grateful for having learned this word. It defines that which we, as Americans have no word for. It is the place where we renew and strengthen ourselves. It is the thing that helps us feel safe. It is the person, or people with whom we feel at home.  For indeed, we know with whom and where we feel most at home. Our bodies tell us, if we listen. There are certain seasons during which we feel more at ease, certain things we rely on to center us and keep us at ease, certain times of day when we feel safe and more relaxed, certain climates, certain foods…even the clothes we wear help us feel more at home.

In learning this word, I realize I have also found a new way to describe the friends with whom I feel at home, the friends with whom I can be my most authentic me, the friends I go to when I have been broken to help me pick up and glue back my pieces. They are my querencia. It is good to know when the world is a bull fight and someone has waved the red flag, if I come out charging but lose the battle, they will be there to help me clean my wounds and will stay with me while my wounds heal to merely scars so that I may go on again. And I hope they/you all know that I am their/your querencia as well.

rummaging through my mind... thoughts on the greatness of women and being friends

we are all just gorgeous chaos. we want to live lives of wild, carefree abandon. but responsibilities, bills, and life steps in and attempts to force a yoke upon us. many of us rebel or  fight back. but not enough of us. we are all beautiful, inside and out. but society's expectations and the expectations of those we know force us to deny our beauty and adopt the beauty imposed by those who are also not happy with themselves. 

but we... women... we find ways to rise above the malaise of daily existence and the potential humdrum of living. we wear our hearts on our sleeves, share our minds with those willing to listen, and allow our spirits to dwell in places of serenity for relaxation. we dance in the rain, sing in public and laugh out loud. we write poetry from our souls, paint from our hearts, sculpt reality into fantasy, and create music to love by. we love easily, rarely lose hope, take on the problems of many. we strive to help those in need and to heal those in pain. all we ask in return is a safe have in times of stress, to be loved for who we are. to be truly understood, to be seen beyond the masks we wear, and to not be laughed at when our masks slip in public.

we are flawed in our beauty, tremulous in our courage, and imperfect in our striving for perfection. we are cracked, broken and often spit upon by the world. but we will fight for those we love and run headfirst into battle to protect the weaker, younger, inexperienced, naive, and unaware. we allow our light to shine through our cracks, use our brokenness to inspire others and turn the spits into stepping stones.

but we don't do this alone, we are not in this by ourselves. we are each other's friends, and as friends; we are each other's candle- we light the way through the darkness of life. our friendships are the wings that help us soar over the inequalities of existing. our friendships keep our hope breathing and our love vibrant. we... as friends... keep each others songs and share each others dreams. we remember each other's stories - the good and the bad. we are each others backbones and we hold each other up when our own legs fail us.

there is an amazing passage from the audio and dvd version of the secret that causes my heart to swell with joy and exhilaration every time i hear it. it describes us and our friendships. i would like to share it with you...

"I believe that you’re great, that there’s something magnificent about you. Regardless of what has happened to you in your life, regardless of how young or how old you think you might be, the moment you began to think properly there’s something within you, there’s power within you that’s greater than the world, it will begin to emerge, it will take over your life, it will feed you, it will clothe you, it will guide you, protect you, direct you, sustain your very existence, if you let it. Now that is what I know for sure"

you... my friends... my sISTA gIRLS. You are GREATNESS. never forget this. now go forth and show the world just how amazing you are.

how to be your own best friend

there are so many things i have learned in this world that are ... for me .... life lessons. one of the biggest involves the use of the phrase "i am". it is true they are powerful because whatever you put after them can... and often does... shape your reality. i am fat. i am smart. i am happy, i am a loser, i m a winner. whatever you tell yourself often enough becomes your reality. it is not what you tell the world it is what you tell yourself. so be your own best friend and tell yourself only good things. "i am smart, i am healthy, i am the perfect size, i am strong. as a matter of fact an affirmation i learned from the secret is full of "i am's". let me share it with you...

I AM WHOLE, STRONG, POWERFUL, PERFECT, HAPPY, HEALTHY, LOVING HARMONIOUS

how's that for an "i am" affirmation. say it all the time, every chance you get, every time you think of it. it can only help...

i also believe what you put out is what you get back. i try to put out love and kindness and caring and compassion. i believe if enough people put out positive thoughts and feelings, we will infect the world with goodness and more people will share these feelings and thoughts til we one day have a world filled with people who are living, kind, caring and compassionate.

i know we all have lessons we have learned from life. here is a list of lessons shared with me today. i would like to share them with you. though i have heard most of them at least once in my life, they all made sense. some of them resonated deeply within me. i hope they all make sense to you and i hope you find some that resonate deep within you. 

please remember the goal in life is to be your own best friend. it is good for you - your heart and your soul; and it makes you a better friend to others. these lessons help you accomplish that goal. enjoy them and today and always .... take good care of you...

Written by Regina Brett

"To celebrate growing older, she once wrote the 50 lessons life taught her. It is the most requested column she has ever written.

So here is the column:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

succulent wild women

“A succulent wild woman is one of any age who feels free to fully express herself in every dimension of her life.”  by S.A.R.K.

Quite a while ago, I read this book about living life to the fullest with your girlfriends at your side. It was Succulent Wild Woman by S.A.R.K.. I recommend it to those sISTA gIRLS who want to grab life by the fattest end and jump in with their eyes closed. I encourage you to try some of her suggestions. Finally I absolutely encourage you bring a friend along for the ride.

I know this woman ... we have been friends for years. When we were younger, people used to call us Lucy and Ethel because we were always up to something. It is years later and we now live in separate states but we are still tight.We call each other and reminisce about the fun and crazy things we did both together and separately. We have families and responsibilities that prevent us from engaging in the mischief we used to get ourselves involved in but we are just waiting for the chance; and then, once again, the world will be our oyster

We each have friends we love and want to include in these life escapades. They think we are crazy but they are all ready to be crazy with us. We are going to laugh, travel, sing out loud, dance in the streets, say hello to strangers, laugh, help the needy, share love with the unloved, sculpt, write, laugh, paint, be grateful, express kindness, laugh, party, swim, bar-b-que, drink, laugh, play, drink some more, make friends ... basically enjoy the wild, wacky, wonderful world we live in while surrounded by the girlfriends who make our good times even better.

And listen sISTA gIRLS ... You are all invited along!!! Bring your friends and your suggestions. We are going to live life to its fullest with no regrets. We are going to enjoy the width, length and depth of life and we are going to do it together

SO >>> PACK FOR GOOD TIMES  and then PURCHASE YOUR TICKET FROM A FRIEND  so that you can COME ALONG FOR THE RIDE!!!

female friendship fabulosity

Today's post is about the wonderfulness of women friendships ... female friendship fabulosity. I am often surprised when I hear women say that they don’t have women friends, or that they don’t like women or that they find men to be better friends. I have always found my friendships with women to have been and to continue to be fun, uplifting and immensely valuable. 

Building close connections with women is an immensely powerful act. Communicating, laughing, growing stronger and older with each other is a way to strengthen female bonds. When we form such connections, many wonderful things happen. First, you are surrounded by people like you. Women are more likely to and able to understand another woman's wishes and concerns. Second, women value women. When we share friendship, we generally see each other as and treat each other as equals. 

In friendships between women, we hold each other accountable to one another in ways we don’t when we’re interacting with men or someone on a casual basis. With women, we are uniquely invested in overcoming each other's problems and making things work. We rely on each other, communicate our needs to each other and then trust that those needs will be met We use as well as seek kindness and compassion when dealing with our female friends because women are kind and compassionate by nature. 

Women friendships are center to and for women’s experiences. We understand each other's fears, as well as our hopes and dreams. For example, no one’s going to think you are being ridiculous if you say you are scared to walk home alone at night. Women support each other and  confirm and legitimize each other's feelings and experiences. 

Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to have lots of men friends or that having them means you don’t like women  just as it would be wrong and crazy to assume you need only women in your life ... in every aspect of your life. My issue is women saying they aren't friends with women because they don’t like women. Women are the people I have relied on, trusted in and shared my hopes, dreams and biggest secrets with. I have shaped myself, at least partially, through my interactions with them. They have been of immense support to me in a world I have sometimes found to be scary, out of control, and cruel. My strong connections with equally strong women and my friendships with women have been, for me, a source of strength, laughter, support, love and goodness.