My Cracks and Golden Repair

Sometimes I feel I am an egg: all hard on the outside; soft and mushy on the inside. If you touch me too hard, I might break. If you say the wrong thing, pieces of me might break off. When bad things happen, I suffer cracks. If I am an egg; I am an egg with a cracked eggshell.

But I am learning my cracks not only let light in; they also allow the light, I often forget I have in me, to shine through… maybe even to be a light for others to help them emerge from the dark - just as I am doing.

Kintsukuroi…also known as kintsugi, is a Japanese form of gold joinery. Literally it means to fill with gold. It is an art form and a form of philosophy. When pottery cracks, it is filled with gold or silver lacquer. The filling and the cracks become one as the pottery becomes whole once more. The piece of pottery is now more beautiful for its having been broken open and repaired. Looking at the piece of pottery reminds us that the breakage and repair are part of the object’s history and that it is its imperfection that makes the pottery more beautiful.

I wish we all took the time to look at each other with open eyes; eyes that would recognize that though we are broken, scarred, and imperfect; we can be healed. I wish we could each fill our cracks and brokenness with the golden joining of love, kindness, acceptance and compassion. Then, when we looked at one another, we would see the gold and realize that each of us has fallen, cried, been broken open, but are beautiful. And we would learn two things - (1) it is the broken, scarred, imperfect parts of us that unite us; (2) and that we all can heal and, once healed, are more beautiful because of the experience.

So, if I’m not an egg shining light for others,

I am a soul inside a body that is cracked -

just fill me full of gold

and call me whole,

healed and beautiful

for others to behold…

i get to... more

-- artist Brian Rolfe --

“In many Shamanic societies,

if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions.

When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing?

When did you stop being enchanted by stories?

When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?”

—Angeles Arrien wrote this in the forward to Gabrielle Roth's book --

i love to dance, to lose myself in the rhythm, and join the melody of music. i love to sing; especially when i am alone - loud and intense, with a microphone and a videographer… in my mind. i also love to listen to and to tell stories. i am fascinated by how people think, the types of stories they share, and what it says about them… and me. i am also amazed at the people of this world - other people and myself. i am amazed at how interrelated we are. i wonder at the who and the why of people, and i enjoy spending time with people - i relish listening to their philosophies, learning their nuances, and experiencing adventures together. i have learned i am not in this life truly alone, and though i tend to be a loner, i am also a social being.

i also love being outdoors, in nature - under the bright rays of the sun, enjoying the bite of a breeze, feeling the splash of rain, or wondering at the beauty of falling snow. i also love silence, quiet moments, soft serenity, and simple reflection. i find comfort in knowing that if i can sit alone… in silence and listen to the voice within me - like in meditation, then i can be in a better place with all aspects of my life. i am comforted knowing there is a guide within me, waiting to share with me the things i already know - the things i don’t know, but can know, if i ask and then listen… in silence.

i’ve seen people come and go, succeed and fail, live and die, cry and laugh, sing and dance, celebrate and hibernate.  i’ve seen a lot, i’ve learned a lot, i’ve also experienced a lot. in fact, i’ve experienced more than i know and that’s okay. the more i experience, the more i get to know; and even though the more i know, the more i realize there is so much that i don’t know; that is also okay - it means i get to have more chances to know more and to experience more. it also means i get to dance more, to sing more, to wonder more… be fascinated and amazed more (at the stories i read and hear, and at life), and i get to spend more time in the comfort of silence and meditation. basically i get to live more, and enjoy the more i’m living...

honoring yourself

“Beauty shouldn’t be about changing yourself to achieve an ideal or be more socially acceptable.

Real beauty, the interesting, truly pleasing kind, is about honoring the beauty within you and without you.

It’s about knowing that someone else’s definition of pretty has no hold over you.”

-- Golda Poretsky --

I say…  you honour yourself when you trust yourself, your gut, your instincts.

you honour yourself when you allow yourself to be your true being, when you see yourself for who you are and accept what you see - with all your failures, mistakes, and imperfections; with all your successes, accomplishments, and beauty.

you honour yourself when you believe in yourself - when you believe you can be all that you want, when you believe you can do all that you want, when you believe you can have all you want, when you believe you matter. when you believe you are enough. you hour yourself when you believe in you

how do you hour yourself? you trust, allow, and believe in YOU!!

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”

--Audrey Hepburn --

We all need to honour ourselves if we are to live vital, vibrant, exciting lives of passion. We need to honour ourselves if we are going to live by our choices. How do we do that? We take responsibility for what we perceive are our needs and desires. We take responsibility for our thought, feelings, and emotions. We take responsibility for our beliefs and our truths. We take responsibility for our actions and the consequences of our actions. We take responsibility for everything. Once we do that, we can begin to create our life in a way that honours what we are responsible for!!!

An important point - we are not on this planet alone, and we cannot succeed by believing we are in this alone and that we must do it alone. The line -”no man is an island” is significant because it is true. We did not come here alone, we do not exist alone, we do not succeed alone. It is not our purpose to be alone. We can choose to be alone, but that is a choice, and those who choose to always and only be alone are not truly living. So, let us remember to honour those who are a part of our lives. When we honour them, we honour ourselves.  Let us honor our parents, our children, our our peers, our neighbors, the people we pass, the people we come in contact with, the people we have known, the people we will know.

i will honor me

i will honor me

in this world i live in

i will do that with

my thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and actions

i will

honor my word

live by my principles

be true to me

i will

listen to my mind, my instincts, my gut

be honest about my needs and my time

love and respect me

i will

look my best

take care of my body

take good care of me

i will

not worry about the other person

not look back or dwell on my mistakes

let all that go and let the past be

i will

remember - what i think, determines what i create

what i put out is what i get back

and how i see others i how they will see me

i will

give it my all and do it for me

i will honor me

Dream! Create! Believe!

She designed a life she loved and that has made all the difference

Lot of talk lately about how to live the life dreams are made of. Lots of opinions, suggestions, ideas, and options. I've listened a lot, read a lot, and thought even more about this subject. One thing is certain - the dreams we have are no accident. They would not rest in our hearts, if they could not happen. The would not abide in our souls, if we weren't meant to have them. They would not squeeze our hearts with longing, if they weren't real... if they weren't possibilities. 

How do we acquire our dreams? How do we live the lives we desire the most? I think we have to get out of our own way. We have to look fear in the face, realize that it is False Evidence Appearing Real, and tell it to be on its way. Once we release fear - a day-by-day process until it becomes natural for us; we can begin to live. 

We start in our heads - that is where so many of us spend most of our time anyway. We  DReaM in our heads. We create the highest, grandest dream possible for ourselves. We dream the truest dream for us. Don't dream someone else's dream, dream your own dream. Step into your big dog shoes, look at your life and decide what life you - being true to you, want. Now I know some of you are thinking- "but it's in my head..." My response- of course it's happening inside your head, where else would it start. You have to think it before it can happen. You have to know what you want before it can be true for you.That doesn't  mean it isn't real. If anything, that is what makes it real. If you can see it in your head, you can create it in your reality. So... design the life you want. Dream big! 

Next - believe it! It is in believing in your dreams that you become your dreams. Be your dreams! Believe in the dreams you have for your life, because you become what you believe.Believe it in your heart. Your heart is the home of possibilities. Your heart is the space from which you can create. Your heart is where faith in yourself and your possibilities exist. So, close your eyes, imagine your dream life, and  fell it flow through you. Give it depth. Strengthen it with faith. Have confidence in its possibility. Be it! That's right! Be. Your. Dreams. Imagine yourself in your life - being it... living it... having it! The more you believe, the more intense your vision of it will be. The more intense your vision, the more likely you will have it.

Then Create it! You are the creator of your life. How you design it, is how you will live it; so design a life you will love. No one else can do it for you. Think about it. Set a course of action for it, and Do it. Do what it takes to have your dreams. Do it with joy and gratitude. Do it from a space of unknown possibilities. Be committed to your dream showing up for you however it needs to show up for you. The universe will rise up to meet you and say yes. Just step up to your dream and begin. 

If you DReaM the life you truly desire. If you BeLieVe in your heart that this life is possible, and then CReaTe your dream life with your actions...  If you BEcome your dream,if you DO what it takes, with trust, faith, and gratitude... you will HAVE the life of your dreams!!! 

I'm not saying its going to be a cake walk. You will have bad days. But your being will get you through. Your believing will keep you going. Your doing will provide results. So... Dream! Create! Believe! ... Be your dreams! Do what it take! You will Have your heart's desire!

Just get up and go for it! You got this!!!

Loving Winter and Snow

"Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments, embark on a sentimental journey, 

and enjoy every idle hour."

-- John Boswell --

I have been looking back over some of my blogs and I am surprised I have not written about snow, especially since we've had a lot this winter. Especially since I love winter... and snow - the excitement of the first snow, the beauty of freshly fallen snow, the bite of winter's chill, the multiple opportunities and ways to snuggle.

I have thought about my love of winter since most people I know think love of winter is crazy. What I know is this - I love all seasons; each brings something new to the pot. As each season ends and a new one begins, we learn to let go of the past and to embrace the possibilities the future has in store for us. We learn that life is a cycle; that though we may go through similar experiences in life, each one has it's own twists and turns, each one sees us in a different place and so we show up different. It's like that expression - "no man ever steps in the same river twice".  Each season brings changes we get to choose to work with. So having different seasons is good.

Winter, though.... winter brings with it challenges that the other months don't. It rains, snows, sleets, and hails. It brings icy conditions, slippery roads and streets, frost bite, and below freezing wind chill factors. But winter also means warm coats to snuggle into, thick blankets and sort comforters to burrow into, and fuzzy scarfs and boots to slip into. Winter means hot chocolate with marshmallows, Christmas, New Years Eve , and Valentine's Day. Winter means fireside chats, cozy dinners with friends, and long, late-night phone calls. And have you ever noticed - people seem nicer, kinder, and more aware of others during the colder winter months.

Winter is a chance, an excuse to cuddle, to snuggle, to stay inside and get closer, to become more intimate, and more connected. Winter gives you more opportunities to open up, reveal ourselves, and expose your vulnerabilities. With the wind at your door, old snow piled up on your lawns, and ice pelting your windows, you can be inside - the fireplace blazing, your favorite music playing, the lights low, a side table with a bottle of merlot, quinoa, caesar salad. skirt steak, and red velvet cake on it, and good conversation and laughter filling the air. We do these things all year round, but winter brings a level of intimacy missing when the weather is nice and you are outdoors. Maybe it's that feeling of "we're all in this together" or maybe the need to be inside, huddled together against the cold, brings us closer to that new born feeling of being held or cradled. Whatever it is, I love it. I love winter. And though, as Spring approaches, I am ready to embrace warmer, sunny days and let go of winter - the dirty snow, the bitter cold, the hard, biting rain, and the dangerous roads; in my heart, I am also looking forward, with anticipation, to next year and the newness of winter and the excitement and changes next winter will have in store for me.

“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.”

― Edith Sitwell --