do you have people who support you? are you supportive?

My days lately have been full - very full. I have time for my writing, my businesses, and the course I'm taking in personal development. I make/find time for my responsibilities, my family, my friends, and my animals. With the time that is left, I do me and the things I enjoy. With what is left, I sleep. It is the most busy I have been in years. A couple of days ago, some of my family, my sISTA gIRL and I sat with a glass of wine and a bite of food and discussed life, personal development and our dreams fro the future. It was wonderful. We were all fully connected to each other and fully supportive of our future dreams. It is not the first time we have had this conversation and not the first time we have supported each other.

I was reading through some of my old posts and I came across a blog that had comments I'd like to share with you...

"I live the life I live and do the things I do because of the choices I have made. I accept the consequences of my choices because they are my choices. I try not to complain or gripe, even when I am overwhelmed. I sometimes feel I am in my life alone and that no one understands where I am or how I feel. But then my friend comes along and says something like that  ("I wish I had more money and you more time, I would send you on a trip so you could rest, relax and regroup.") and I realize I am not alone ... that someone cares... that someone understands. That someone is my friend, my girl, mysISTA gIRL  and i am grateful for her.

"We all go through things that take a toll on our lives, our souls, our emotions. We can ignore its effects on us and dig our heels in and keep on or we can remember there are people out there who love us and are willing to help or lend an ear or a shoulder if we would just reach out. Sometimes all they can give is support and encouragement ... but funny ... for me .... that was more than enough. We sat and laughed about good times and what we would do and where we would go if we could. that brief respire made my day and has lingered in the back of my mind for days."

At the end of that post, I thanked my sISTA gIRL for her love and support. She is still my sISTA gIRL, my anam cara, my kindred spirit today and I still thank her for her love and support. But today, I also want to thank my family members who have been there for me, supporting and encouraging me. I also want to thank them and my sISTA gIRL for allowing me the opportunity to give them feedback in an atmosphere of love and vulnerability. They know that I speak from a place of love and support, as they do when they speak to me.

I wish everyone a friend like my sISTA gIRL. I wish everyone family members like mine. I wish everyone to have happy, healthy, loving, harmonious, open, connected relationships. 

May each and everyone of you have friends, family members, and partners who recognize when you are drowning and rescue you with a word, a smile, or a hug; who support you when your stuff is tight and things are going right; and who stand by you just because and ride the wave with you. 

more on forgiving yourself

in order to love others kindly and gently; love yourself kindly and gently

in order to forgive others, and move on; forgive yourself, and  move on

I say all the time that spirit meets spirit and that the universe rises up to meet us where we are when we are truly connected. That has become evident to me today. Yesterday i wrote about forgiving yourself, last night a friend spoke to me about having to do work on forgiving himself and today the discussion of forgiving one's self and others has continued.

Forgive Yourself

forgive yourself -

the first step to ending

some of your health issues

and the lies you tell yourself

time can eat away at life

forgive yourself

for losing track

there still is so much more

when the walls are closing all around

and you're holding yourself back

forgive yourself -

and release what is keeping you caged

what's the first step to letting go

of the anger toward those

who destroyed your visions -

forgive yourself

when you choose to do

all that you can

to prove you can

when there are things you can’t

forgive yourself

in forgiving yourself

you give yourself

license to forgive others

forgive yourself

in forgiving yourself

you open yourself  

to joy and love

forgive yourself

for in giving yourself

the gift of

forgiving yourself

you also get the opportunity 

to begin again

can you let go of your perceptions? Can you forgive yourself?

so i had the most interesting conversation today with someone. ironic the conversation took place in autumn, the day after a night of rain. it was all about how our perceptions of ourselves and our lives effect every other aspect of our life. I got it, my friend did not. That is not to say I always get it, but it is to say this was one of those conversations where I got it and was trying to help them get it.

autumn  - i love this season, it reminds me how beautiful letting go can be when done in a healthy environment, in a a healthy way, for the right reasons. We let go of what no longer fits, what no longer suits, what no longer works. we let go to have new, to have better; we let go to heal, to grow; we let go to be better, because it is time.

and rain - i love the rain, the feel of wetness and the rhythm of the drops, it enriches my soul. the morning after a night of rain is always a cleaner, purer, fresher day. as though the rain released and then washed away all the toxins. the aftermath is usually a day of sun, and sweet smells and lighter essences. so, when we release the toxins that hold us hostage and allow them to be washed away, we too emerge cleaner, sweeter and lighter in essence. 

sometimes in order to let go we have to acknowledge that the way we see things is not fact ... not truth - even though it may be a truth for us. In reality it is just a perception and a perception is a personal belief. further - a truth is not a fact. a truth is a perception you have based on what you know and truths change as your knowledge grows.

anyway, i was trying to get my friend to understand that their truths were really based on their perceptions, and that if they would forgive themselves, it would actually change their perceptions, and open them and their lives up to new possibilities. if my friend would begin by forgiving their self, they would be able to forgive others and that forgiveness would allow joy, love and healing into their life in whole new and unexpected ways.

i know how hard it is to do this work. to examine your perceptions, acknowledge that some are no longer relevant and then discard them. it is hard to forgive yourself and others, and leave yourself open to new possibilities. it is hard to let go of what has been our constant companion for so long, but that is how we get better, that is how we make room for new and improved in our lives. that is how we heal and grow.

i don't know if my friend really got it. i left them to think about what i said. but this i know for sure. forgiveness must start with forgiving yourself just as loving others begins with first loving ourselves. and we can't let go of things outside of our control if we don't first let go of the things within our control. it is hard work. sometimes it is sad work, at times it is angry work, but once done, a weight comes off and you feel lighter and airy. better... whole new possibilities begin to to open up and paths towards you are cleared.

my suggestion - go for it. take a chance on yourself. you are smarter than you realize. stronger than you know and more resilient than you believe. it is worth it and you will be glad you did. SO... today... forgive yourself, let go, release those toxins and then breathe in the cleaner, sweeter, lighter essence that is you. when you are done, be prepared for all the wonderfulness that has been waiting to come rushing to you...  be prepared... it will happen and it will be good. 

How to handle a bad day

WE all have bad days. Days when the issues in our life overwhelm us. Days when we want to run screaming from life while pulling our hair out. We know, however, that is not the answer. What should we do instead? When I am having a bad day I try to find time to go out, take a walk, clear my head, release my frustrations. I try to spend some time in meditation and some time in nature, be grateful for my blessings. Then, when i am done, I usually feel better. Meditation calms me, waling in nature clears my head and gratitude fills me with joy. Some days it works like a charm, some days it is not so good. But, for the most part, when I am done I feel better.

 However I feel, when I am done I check to see if my sISTA gIRL is available to go have drinks, or eat, or just spend time with me. She usually knows what I am dealing with. She listens to my troubles, doesn't always say a lot ... just lets me vent. She is a great friend. She is my kindred spirit, my sister, my Anam Cara.

Today, if you are having a bad day ... go commune with nature. it will calm you and remind you of the beauty in the world and your many blessings. Take some time to be in silence, it will allow you to hear your inner voice of calm and remind you that peace is within you whenever you need it. Take a walk or run, or spend some time with a pet or child; it will perk up your spirits to help you feel better. Spend some time in gratitude. Being grateful for the things you already have, the people presently in your life, and the things that ARE going right, help to balance the tables and bring you some joy. Then go hang out with a sISTA gIRL; spending time with her will definitely put a smile on your face.

If, you are in a great mood and having a good day, do the opposite. Find a friend who needs you and just be there for them. Be a shoulder or an ear. Sometimes just your presence is enough to get them back on their feet and feeling better about themselves or the situation.

Whoever you are today, whichever you do, the one thing I know for sure is ...

I learned this Swedish proverb when I was in high school and have never forgotten it. I guess its because over the years, I have learned that friendships are based in love and love is the greatest healing therapy there is and

.......Wait ......

That was my sISTA gIRL calling to make sure I am okay and asking if I want to hang out tonight. You know I said yes. And now, I am out. I love autumn days like this... sunny and not too cold. I 'm gonna go to the park, walk a bit, sit in silence, watch the birds and squirrels, count my blessings and then hang out with my Anam Cara.

Here's wishing you a good life, better days and even better friends. Ciao!!!!!!!!!

Thankful Thursday

Just wanted to take a minute to say thank you. Thank you for being a part of sISTA gIRLS,.. thank you for reading our posts, thank you for logging in to us, Please continue to spread the word about and share this blog with others . We're hoping to do big things in the name of sISTA gIRLS.

I know I have said this before, but friends are a blessing from above. They share your joys and your griefs, your up and your downs, your good times and your bad. They are a source of laughter and comfort. My friends have been a source of strength for me and I am grateful for them. I am proud to be their friend and to call them mine. We are happy to share with you who read our blog and are truly happy to share stories and posts with you.

It is true that gratitude is abundance. We have grown since we first started and every day I am grateful for all of you. You have made the difference in our lives. We hope to continue this for as long as possible. All we ask is that you continue to join us and that you share us with your friends and family and join in the conversation. Together we can highlight and work on supportive female friendships. 

Today ... listen, lend an ear, spend time together, enjoy each other ... basically do what I know you do so well ... be a friend... and... be grateful for those you had, those you have,  those you will have and for the opportunity to be one to someone else. Remember, we need each other and accomplish more when we look to each other. 

Thank YOU for being our friend

for traveling down this road with us, 

and back again

our hearts are full 

you are all our pals... our confidants

One day we'll throw a party

we'll invite each and everyone of you

and you will see 

what a joy friendship can be

the theme of our party will be

ThaNK YOU for being our FRieND!!!

What if we could look into each other’s heart

I was just thinking about this quote today in relation to a new woman I have met who seems to push the buttons of moist of the people who don't really know her. The people who seem to have taken the time to know her, seem to love her. It was slightly confusing... until I remembered this quote. Then I understood. Her friends had taken the time to look into her heart and now understood her and in understanding her had grown to love her. It does make me wish, when we looked at people, we could see their hearts and souls and not just the outer packaging. I guess it is something I have to work n, inside me - to see past the outer trimmings to the goodness within. Anyway, as a result, I just had to re-post this

If we could look into each other’s heart and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care.

--Soul vision healing --

such a beautiful quote.

i have an acquaintance, she is a caring individual with a very abrupt, brusque manner. i have a relative, also very caring with a victim mentality. both of these individuals walk on the wild side when it comes to opinions and don't back down. even when they are the only one, and even in the midst of a crowd. they are also needy and don't know how to express their need.

people often tease them about their opinions and talk about them behind their backs. i wish i could say i never participate but that would be a lie. but i do always interject with a reminder that they are caring people who deserve love even if they are different. i try to understand the things that have brought them to where they are, and try to at least view them from a place of tolerance.

when i read this quote, it touched me. i thought of them immediately and knew i had to share it with you... my sISTA gIRLS.

i am sure in all of our lives, there are people who push our buttons, who make us a little crazy, who irk our nerves just a bit, who push us to our limits, take us to places we don't want us to go, and bring out in us the things we would rather never see. in the end, we should be grateful for these people, for their presence in our lives. they force us to see who we really are and to...at the same time...be better people.

so, the next time you are with one of these people...friend, relative, acquaintance, step back and try to look at them with eyes and heart wide open. try to see where they are coming from and why they are that way. perhaps you will be able to view them differently and then begin to treat them with caring and tolerance.

hey... think about it...you would want that if it were you i was talking about. as a matter of fact... that person i am talking about... just might be YOU.

Have You Touched the Center of Your Sorrow - how to deal with sorrow

More on The Invitation… how to deal with sorrow

A while back, I shared with all of you some posts from a prior blog. They were on The Invitation. I missed one and thought I would share it with you today. It is on dealing with sorrow.

"It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it."

— from The Invitation, Oriah Mountain dreamer —

I have done all of those things and then some. I have experienced deep sorrow and ultimate betrayal by life. I have closed myself off from fear of further pain. I have just sat with my pain. Years ago, my uncle, a New York City hospital officer was gunned down by a major Columbian drug lord. Years later, my husband, a New York City police officer, was gunned down in the line of duty and my father, who was suffering through two kinds of cancer, died the very next day. At the time, my daughter was a little girl, and my husband and I were trying to have another child…

Those two events were so devastating that at times, all I could do was acknowledge the pain; all I could do was endure. The pain was so overwhelming, I shut down. I don’t even remember most of the events of the year following the deaths of my husband and father. And, when my life began to take on some form of normalcy again, I consciously chose to close myself off from further pain. I let no newcomers into my circle of friends and refused to have any dealings with men. I said I would never date again, never fall in love again.If that wasn’t enough, some of the people in my circle and my husband’s circle could not handle what happened and stopped dealing with my daughter and me. They said that being around us was a constant reminder of what happened and they could not handle that. So they chose to stop being in our lives. They were people who were important to me, but more than that; people who were important to my daughter. We learned to live without the two most important men in our lives and the absence of long-held friendships.

So, I have sat with pain, and just endured. I have closed myself off to avoid further pain. I have done all that. But, in the end, I learned to let go. First, I made new friends. Then, I freed myself of the bonds that the fear of the pain of loss cause and am now I am in a place of hope. I am now open to love; I am open to giving and receiving love. Hell, I’m even open to the knowledge that taking a chance on love also means the possibility of experiencing sorrow all over again… though I hope that doesn’t happen. Was letting go easy? Hell, no it wasn’t. Some of the people who were very close to my family dealt with the deaths by drinking to excess - a sure fire way to avoid facing pain. Some refused to cry, prided themselves on never shedding a tear. Even I even went through a period when I refused to cry. After all, many of us have been taught that tears are a sign of weakness. And, for a while, I was actually unable to cry. But one day, I was caught off guard and I cried. No, I sobbed…great, big, gut-wrenching tears. You know, painful, nose running, hiccup-causing, can’t see or breathe tears…tears so intense you feel like they will never stop. Yes, I cried those tears, and from then on, it was easier to cry. And I must admit, I still sometimes cry and it still hurts. But I believe that moment was the beginning of my cleansing and healing.

In the end, I think the most healing moments came when I just sat with my pain. It was like my skin for such a long time, it was hard not to acknowledge it. But, I mean I really sat with my pain; I examined it; I spoke to it; I let it speak to me. Those moments gave me insight into many aspects of my life, my marriage, my husband and my father. Those moments also gave me insight into where I was with my pain, Those moments are where I eventually found hope. Those moments are where I began to let go.

Today, examine your life. Are there areas of pain you have chosen not to deal with? Pull those painful memories out and begin to tackle them head on. Face your pain, acknowledge it, sit with it, speak to it. Cry if you can. Then determine to conquer your pain and let it go. First acknowledge there is a thing called hope that you can rely on. If you can do this, you can begin to move on.

Good morning heartache / Here we go again / Good morning heartache / You’re the one who knew me when / Might as well get use to you / hanging around / Good morning heartache / Sit down

— written by Irene Higgenbotham, Ervin Drake, and Dan Fisher originally recorded by jazz singer Billie Holiday in 1946) —

— written by angela skeetedavis (asd) —

photographs of the dance “Revelations” created by Alvin Ailey

Women

I am really coming to realize I am... we are... emerging as awakened women, enlightened women, transforming women... with the ability to make a difference. I am honored, blessed, proud to be a woman, to have the opportunity... to take the opportunity to make a difference. Women are amazing, fabulous, rocking forces of nature. In honor of women, I would like to share to it with you.  I wrote this some time ago, please, feel free to comment and share... thank you

Women (shadow poetry)

Women

Living wonderfully…

Dancing with

Hearts and souls…

Spirits singing joyous

Songs … Happy and

Vibrant... with

Love and  nature.

Sharing women…

Peaceful and graceful…

Awakening  women

Laughing… alive.

being

Alive…laughing….

Women awakening…

Graceful and peaceful.

Women sharing

Nature and love

With vibrant and

Happy  songs …

Joyous singing spirits,

Souls and hearts...

With dancing.

Wonderfully living…

Women

--written by asd --

Awakened Women

An Awakened Woman

I like to think of myself as an awakened woman. An awakened woman is a woman coming into her spiritual self. She is engaged in a loving and full-bodied, nothing-held-back love affair with the great mystery of life - love. She is in and of the world, but abides in it with fierce honesty, intense openness, deep connection, majestic compassion, gentle grace and freedom. She lives, eats and breathes real love. She meditates, practices some form of spiritual exercise - like yoga and believes life is more than just what we know. She is a force of nature- unstoppable

The longer I live, the more I realize this world needs awakened women… needs what awakened women  have - compassion, intuition, wisdom, interconnection, and an open, giving, nurturing, and inspiring nature. Awakened women listen deeply, respond from our hearts and act based on our instincts.

Awakened women are devoted to a life lived with spiritually, lovingly, freely and openly.  We are advanced seekers on the path to enlightenment. We have exuberant passion, spiritual powers and deep insight and  (fyi) are capable of giving birth to future peacemakers.

Today, let us all be awakened women. Let us be the giving, vulnerable, connected, compassionate, wise, strong, open women the world needs to change and grow towards love and unity. Let us journey to love, explore our passions, discover our sexuality, open to our spirituality and accept our selves wholly and completely as perfectly flawed as we are. Let us be the difference we want to see in the world... it begins with us. Awakened women... we make a difference one day and one step at a time.