an updated blog post - poems, prayers and reflection for sista girls

Even sISTA gIRLS sometimes need a little prayer... especially on a rainy day. Rainy days cause me to pause and reflect. Today, on this first day of November - a month of thankfulness and gratitude, please keep us and ours in your prayers... as we keep you and yours uplifted in prayer. We are spreading smiles and love this November, knowing the world will right up and all will be well. In the meantime, here is a little poem to fill your day.

Hope is a bird singing before the sun does rise

Hope is a flower’s fragrance even sweeter as it dies

Hope is a brilliant sky that preludes that day’s end

Hope is a “really, you too” that signals a new friend

Hope is a thing inspired on a warm and sunny day

Hope is a thing desired when the sunshine’s gone away

Hope is the thing you turn to when your life’s about to bust

Hope is a thing believed in when there’s nothing left to trust

and here is a prayer to fill your heart and spirit

may your day be filled with friends and laughter

may your weekend be filled with family and goodness

may your body be filled with good health

may your heart be filled with light and loving kindness

may your world be filled with beauty

may your soul be filled with peace and joy

may life be filled with sunshine

may your life overflow with happiness and love

and may you always have  sISTA gIRLS to share it all with

LOVE YOU ALL ... TAKE CARE ... until tomorrow

do you have people who support you? are you supportive?

My days lately have been full - very full. I have time for my writing, my businesses, and the course I'm taking in personal development. I make/find time for my responsibilities, my family, my friends, and my animals. With the time that is left, I do me and the things I enjoy. With what is left, I sleep. It is the most busy I have been in years. A couple of days ago, some of my family, my sISTA gIRL and I sat with a glass of wine and a bite of food and discussed life, personal development and our dreams fro the future. It was wonderful. We were all fully connected to each other and fully supportive of our future dreams. It is not the first time we have had this conversation and not the first time we have supported each other.

I was reading through some of my old posts and I came across a blog that had comments I'd like to share with you...

"I live the life I live and do the things I do because of the choices I have made. I accept the consequences of my choices because they are my choices. I try not to complain or gripe, even when I am overwhelmed. I sometimes feel I am in my life alone and that no one understands where I am or how I feel. But then my friend comes along and says something like that  ("I wish I had more money and you more time, I would send you on a trip so you could rest, relax and regroup.") and I realize I am not alone ... that someone cares... that someone understands. That someone is my friend, my girl, mysISTA gIRL  and i am grateful for her.

"We all go through things that take a toll on our lives, our souls, our emotions. We can ignore its effects on us and dig our heels in and keep on or we can remember there are people out there who love us and are willing to help or lend an ear or a shoulder if we would just reach out. Sometimes all they can give is support and encouragement ... but funny ... for me .... that was more than enough. We sat and laughed about good times and what we would do and where we would go if we could. that brief respire made my day and has lingered in the back of my mind for days."

At the end of that post, I thanked my sISTA gIRL for her love and support. She is still my sISTA gIRL, my anam cara, my kindred spirit today and I still thank her for her love and support. But today, I also want to thank my family members who have been there for me, supporting and encouraging me. I also want to thank them and my sISTA gIRL for allowing me the opportunity to give them feedback in an atmosphere of love and vulnerability. They know that I speak from a place of love and support, as they do when they speak to me.

I wish everyone a friend like my sISTA gIRL. I wish everyone family members like mine. I wish everyone to have happy, healthy, loving, harmonious, open, connected relationships. 

May each and everyone of you have friends, family members, and partners who recognize when you are drowning and rescue you with a word, a smile, or a hug; who support you when your stuff is tight and things are going right; and who stand by you just because and ride the wave with you. 

my soul remembers friendship

I really enjoy reading the works of Rumi. I think he is a brilliant soul with a deeply compassionate and loving heart. he says the soul is the best memory. I have written on it in the past. I agree that the soul's memory is the best and the ultimate but i still believe my heart and my mind play a major part in who and why and how I love. they all work together.This poem is in honor of our souls and the friends we love, with our heart, mind, soul and spirit. HERE'S TO FRIENDSHIPS and sISTA gIRLS. LONG MAY WE LOVE

My soul remembers what my heart has forgot

My soul remembers what the mind cannot

My soul is there when the body dies

My soul remains ‘cause my spirit’s wise

My friendship’s true … My mind reasons so

My friend is you … my heart feels love’s flow

My friend ... our friendship fills my heart and mind

And my soul says that we … my friend … are one of a kind

So my soul remembers you when my heart’s forgot

My soul remembers you when my mind cannot

My soul remembers you when my body dies

Because my spirit loves you and my spirit is wise

friendship is love

Friendship is the last vestige of love

Where souls meet and greet in comfort

Where acceptance reigns supreme

Where barriers crumble down

And acceptance flows

Like fall’s high tide

On a cool

Windy

Day

I read a book last year on love. The author included a list of questions to ask yourself on love and your relationship to love. The last question was: do you think love is growing or disappearing in the world. I asked a lot of people this question because I believed most saw the world as I did - full of loving people, daily growing in love. Imagine my surprise when most said there is less love in this world and that what there is of it is slipping steadily away.

I wonder how that can be possible when we as a people are made from love, when the world is filled daily with examples of love, when that which gives us life and lets us live and move and be is the highest love and we are all from that source of love. Nevertheless, that ... it seems ... is where many people reside; they anticipate there is no love and then wait to be proven right.

But those of us with friendships can change that.  Friendship is the last vestige of love. When we enter into a friendship, we create a source of love. When we do things together, spend time together; that source of love expands. And as our friendships grow, the source of love grows. 

Those of us with true, lasting, Anam Cara friendships give the world an energy boost of high love. That energy boost serves as a way to fill the world with love faster and wider. Why? It takes love to find love. Friendship is a willingness to open one's heart and soul to another. By opening our hearts and souls to our friends we prepare ourselves to open our hearts and souls to the world.

Imagine a world filled with people who have open hearts and souls. That is a world filled with love. It can happen. Love can increase in this world by increasing in us. So, let's all be grateful for our friends, for friendships. They are a source of this world's love, and an avenue to a world filled with loving people.

And like the water's of the ocean, may our friendships always ebb and flow in union with the highest source of love; bringing love to the shores of the hearts of all. Let's all go make friends.

solivagants and their friends

So many of us believe we solivagant - wander alone - through the world. we are believers and dreamers. we  are seekers of light and beauty and serenity. we hope eternally and give love easily. we get our hearts broken and yet continue to love. we fall down and pick ourselves up. we get broken open and find ways to heal ourselves all while trying to help and heal others. we wear rose-colored glasses and refuse to take them off... even when the world tries to beat the light out of us.  and when the world does manage to plunges us into darkness, we find a way to turn on our light.

those of us who solivagant need friends who see into our hearts and understand how we try to survive on our own, how we keep our rose-colored glasses close to our hearts and believe things will all work out. we need people who realized we are strong because of our softness and vulnerability and not in spite of. we need people who know we willingly take on the world for those we love and those in need. we need people who will help us to pick up the pieces when our hearts ...again... break open as life reminds us that it can be a cruel task master.

friends help us to laugh at ourselves, see the lighter side of life. friends remind us to look after ourselves and to do for ourselves for a change. friends help us to live in the real world while  allowing us to dream and share our dreams. because we don't just dream for ourselves we have dreams to spare. friends help us to wake from our dreams and return from our wanderings even if we even if only for a little while

so here's to the dreamers and wanderers; know....  you keep the world full of hope and ever aware. here's to their friends ...you remind them they don't dream alone and don't wander without you keeping tabs on where they are. and here's to all of you on your journeys. may you get there together, each in your own way.

She who solivagants

Is free like the wind

Unsoiled by dirt like the lotus

A light in darkness like the moon

But she is only so until caught

Only alone until sought

Quiet until thought

Rushes in where there was naught

But she just wandering alone

are you a nightingale

While nightingales are nice enough looking birds. they are not the prettiest birds. there are birds far more beautiful, far more majestic, far more awe-inspiring. And yet, when nightingales sing. their song becomes them and they become truly beautiful to look at and to listen to and while it is true some do not hear the beauty of the nightingale's song, it is not because of the nightingale, but rather because those who don't hear, do not have ears to hear.

Some of us are like nightingales. We are not the prettiest women in the world or the most majestic or the most awe-inspiring. Some of us are overweight or just don't have great bodies and some of us are not the brightest or the sharpest. Often, when we look at our deficiencies, we become embarrassed and hide our light, afraid to call attention to ourselves. That is not how to live. We all have faults, but that is not where our focus should lay. We are all here for a reason. Each and everyone of us has a gift to share. Every one of us is filled with wonderful, positive attributes. When we focus on our strengths, we allow our soul to open up to the world. When we share our own special song, we let our light shine and that light fills us with such a glow; our beauty becomes resplendent and we fill the world with both beauty, grace, and light.

nightingales... people who keep their light hidden, need friends. friends remind us that we have strengths and talents. Friends see our strengths and talents. Friends support our abilities. Friends remind us that we are light and beauty. Friends help us turn our light back on when it goes out or starts to fade. 

so for all you nightingales out there... 

don't keep your light hidden. don't keep your song hidden. let your light shine!!!  Sing out loud!!! and if you can't do it alone... enlist your friends to help! They will!!! 

being your true you ...with friends

i love the internet. it gives me the opportunity to look at beautiful things and beautiful pictures of beautiful things. i love fb. it allows me to create albums in which to house the multiple pictures i have of all the beautiful things i enjoy looking at and reading.

the other day a friend of mine was looking at my albums and laughed indulgently because they were "so me". i chuckled too, a little. she knew me and my sometimes weird sense of beauty, she understood its value to me ...beauty. she chuckled because she knew me and loved me anyway. i chuckled because i realized that as she chuckled.

while i am not always in such a good place, generally i like me. i think that is a good thing because i am the only person with me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. true, i am on a journey to be a better me - but at least i am always starting from a good place. a lot of us, however, don't like ourselves or at least don't like ourselves enough to not change for others. that is why it was such a gift to realize my friend knew me and liked me just the way i was. she did not expect me to change for her and i did not feel i needed to change to be accepted by her.

we, as women, need to figure out who we are and then...so long as who we are does not hurt others or our planet... go with it. we need to embrace who we are and then go along the journey of our true selves. otherwise, what is the point? if we live a false life, being who others want us to be, we are living half a life....an un-actualized life. that is not fulfilling and can cause us to, eventually, crack wide open.

once you discover who you truly are and come to love and accept yourself, it will feel blessed and joyful to share your true self with others...and true friends will embrace you proudly. they will be proud of you, proud knowing that you are willing to stand in this world as your real self. those that don't, those that aren't are probably not sincere friends in the first place and thus not worth any of your regret. instead, remember, it is hard to be true to yourself in this world of cookie-cutter people. having the courage to be you is novel, unique and scary so to do so successfully is beautiful. a thing to indeed be proud of.

so find you...your smart, creative, funny, loving, gentle, kind, strong, powerful, healthy, harmonious you and let her loose on the world and share this wonderful you with your friends. then, together embark on the journey of a lifetime, a journey of friendship and growth and  love and exploration and kindness and curiosity about everything... together.

sharing friendship

i seem to say it more often lately. or maybe it is because there are not enough readers of this blog. we do not get comments. i would truly love to hear from those of you who take the time to read these posts.we, here, are truly grateful for your support and we thank you.

but please comment and share. comment on what you would love to see here or read here or what you think of what we have done so far. 

 .... today is a SHARE DAY. share with us!!!!

thank you

oh  .... and share us with others

after all ....

SHARING IS CARING

fyi .... this is one of my favorite pictures. we should all be willing to share the sweets in our life. maybe we would keep everyone as sweet as the treat we share. and then maybe those we shared with would share with others as well.  when we share a sweet treat we share love. so, if we kept it going, this would be a sweet as a treat sharing the love world .... and that would be AWESOME

.... i'm just sayin.....

friendship moments in the park

i love to walk through the park either early in the morning or just after the sun has set. i love to watch the birds frolicking in early morning dew or see the squirrels running from trees with treats. it keeps me grateful for nature and its beauty. i also love to see people walking and picnicking and playing together: couples, old and young; families, big and small; or friends, new and old. it keeps me believing and confident in in the beauty and strength of love and compassion.

i picked this picture because it reminded me of a time i went to the park for my walk and saw two images that have stayed with me. it was late summer and getting cooler. i saw a much older couple take a walk around the entire length of the park. she had on huge, dark sunglasses and walked with the aid of a cane. he had a bit of a hump and a slight stoop. they walked very slowly together, she leaning on him more than the cane and he holding her hand on his arm and guiding her along. as they walked, they leaned their whole bodies towards each other and laughed together. they seemed quite in tune with one another. they never misstepped, they never distanced themselves from each other. and though they laughed together, there was such a sense of peace around them, it was quite a blessing to watch. they seemed to radiate love and it was a pleasure to behold.

they came to the park often, the summer i saw them and each time, they gave my heart a jump start of faith in couples and love and growing older together. i don't get a chance to get to that park often anymore but i hope they are still there, still spreading peace and love through their interactions with each other. 

that same day i saw them, i also saw two girls laying on a blanket together. they had music playing, books around them, a bit of food and two bottles of water. they were giggling and whispering together, totally oblivious to the world around them. they were also at peace. a different kind of peace. they seemed content with who they were and what they were doing. at one point, the older couple passed them and i watched as the couple stopped and smiled at the girls and the girls giggled and smiled back and then continued to smile and point after the couple continued on their walk. they were not laughing at the couple but rather enjoying them. even they were affected by the grace and love of the elderly couple.

i though to myself ... the older and the younger generation; they get it even when we think they won't.

it also occurred to me that the couple probably lasted because they were friends as well as lovers.

moreover, if the girls wanted to remain friends for years to come, it would take more than just laughter. but that if they kept the ability to laugh always available to them, it would help. i was also  impressed that they were spending time together doing things together and separately. that is how friendship works. each respecting and appreciating the other and allowing each other to be wholly themselves.

so that is where i am today. remembering that even couples need to be friends if they are going to last. and friends need to be able to spend time together and to laugh if they are going to survive the hard times together. and finally, all friends need to remember and be grateful for all the good times together, so they can have many more.

hope you all had a good weekend. hope you had chances to laugh. hope you had moments to remember. hope you have many more ... especially with all your sISTA gIRLS!!!!!!!

unexpected friendship tribute

well here we are again. its the weekend my friends.
how do you like to spend your weekends?

i generally spend saturdays sleeping in late ... hell i spend most days sleeping i late. a am a true night owl. then  i do errands. when the evening appears i grab a bite and when i get done i sit at my table and write. i used to spend my saturdays with my mom ( i used to spend everyday with my mom)and my daughter and my brother ( if he was around). i still spend my saturdays with my daughter and my brother. we get the house neater and cook a little.

on sundays i get up late (as usual), sometimes i go and praise my God and give thanks at church, sometimes i praise Him and give thanks at home ( i always praise Him and give thanks). i then spend .the day writing, listening to music, talking and laughing.

my sISTA gIRL often comes and spends the weekend with us. I am soooo glad she is in my life. she is like my right arm. i can't imagine life without her.

and she is patient and understanding. she comes to my house more than i go to hers. she rarely complains and never gets mad. we have gone through lots of good times and a lot of not-so-good times together. she is a good person ... a genuine marshmallow teddy bear. she believes in the good of man and the need to spread caring, kindness and compassion to others and does so. she visits people who are sick, comforts those who are sad, tries to give guidance to those who are bad and offers assistance to those in need. i am glad i know her.

i didn't plan this to be my post ... a thank you tribute to my sISTA gIRL ... but here it is. thank you gurl for being you, for being in my life and a part of my life. you are the best.

okay okay enough mushy stuff. dont leave me hanging out here ... all you sISTA gIRLS ... tell someone you love how you feel. spread the love .. it is contagious. and feels good.

peace

you loved me anyway

“And I felt closer to you. Because you knew me so much better than I'd realized - and still loved me.” 


that is a great quote from Rosamund Lupton. we all find ourselves, at some point, surprised to discover how well our friends know us. we think we do such a good job at hiding our truest selves from everyone. but true friends pay attention. they begin to recognize tell signs. signs that show them when we are sad or hurt or in pain. happiness is easily recognizable. that is a face we do not mind showing the world. but betrayal,  embarrassment. failures, sadness. loss, pain; those are often hard to spot. we tend keep to those events, feelings and emotions to ourselves. we seem to fear the repercussions of showing the world anything other than success, confidence and happiness. but life is a balance. without the sad, how can we appreciate happiness; without betrayal, how can we appreciate loyalty; without failure how can we appreciate success. 

so it is with friendship. it is special when we show a friend who we truly are or we discover they know who we truly are. that is when our friendship is truly tested. now that they know the truth about us, what will they do? some people may walk away from us. they may not like who we are or they may not feel we are no longer compatible or they may feel threatened. there are many reasons why people walk away from friendships. when that happens we must search ourselves. if we were the fault, we must work on ourselves. if it was the result of circumstances beyond our power, accept that and then let it go. sometimes friendships end because their season is over. rejoice for what was and cherish the memories.

but the best that can happen is a friend discover who you truly are and then love you because of ... in spite of ... anyway. that is a friendship that will stand the test of time. that is an anam cara friendship. whether you have one anam cara friend or ten. those friendships are rare. those friendships we appreciate. those friendships are a sheltering tree. they are protection from the harsh elements of the world and they give you a place to rest. 

so when the world has dealt you a blow or you have been less than you are or you have suffered at the hands of life, seek out the friends who love you. they will be your sheltering tree. rest in the shade of their love and comfort. lean on them for support knowing you are safe and cared for. When you are are ready to return to the world, you will be able to venture out easily for you will know you have a sheltering tree you can return to  ... you have a friend.

friendship ... spread the word

Good afternoon, good morning, good night ... aw heck ... Good day my friends, my sISTA gIRLS

i guess we have been at this for about three months now and it feels good to still be able to share my feelings and stories about friendship with all of you. i appreciate those of you who tune in regularly as well as those first timers  ... and everyone else who takes the time to read our friendship blog. i hope the things i write find a place in your heart.

please spread the word about the blog. not only will more people know about us but with enough people involved here, we can begin a dialogue together: you can share stories with me. you can ask questions of me. you can suggest things you would like me to talk about. perhaps we can even plan a meet and greet to extend our network of friends. anything is possible. the sky is the limit.

no friendship is one-sided that lasts and we want this to last. so comment, share, and spread the word

what is the word?

may we open our hearts to friendship

may we share the love it brings

may we speak of how our heart now sings

may we spread word of the joy it brings

may we be grateful for our friendship ring 

and may it last til eternity springs

for to last forever is no simple thing

I Will Hold On To The Hurt A While

please  bear with me as i navigate through this new phase of my life. it is true i saw it coming but we are never as prepared as we think we are or as we should be. while i am on this journey, i will share some of it with you ... my sISTA gIRLS. mayhaps it will help you as writing about it helps me. if not ... i apologize.

today i would like to share with you a part of a piece i have written. it is in part thanks to a friend and as this blog is for friendship, i thought it would be appropriate. i hope you enjoy it in the vein it was written

I Will Hold On To The Hurt A While

...

Yesterday

My friend took me away from the silence

For a while.

She brought me out into the world …

A world I had seen so very little of lately.

It was fun to people watch

To eat good food

Enjoy a new cocktail or two

But in the back of my mind

In the center of my stomach

Were old habits designed around you.

And yet … you were gone.

Sometimes you residing in my heart

 Is just not enough …

the pain and loss you experience upon the death of a loved one  ... be it family or friend ...is often 'unexplainable'. it is a journey that can only be understand by those who are travelling or have travelled it. if you are present with one who is on the journey, you are able to understand what you witness but the emotions that exist in the mind and heart are often so subtle and so frequently changing that they are hard to capture and hold in your hand. so watching is insufficient and to enter the heart or mind of another impossible. but for the friends who attempt to understand i say THANK YOU. we need you by our side ... to hold our hand when we are drowning, to keep us from going under. we need you to help us adjust our wings when we are ready to fly again. we need your shoulders to lean on, your ears to listen and your heart to understand when we are broken open. to all those going through something i say keep going ... you will get to the other side. for all friends watching i say, thank you

you know what they say ... when the going gets tougher ... so do we

until next time ... take care of you!!!!

the valley

I am glad that there is love in the world and that there are compassionate people in the world. when we go through valleys of dust, it is nice to know there are people willing to travel through the dust to bring you water, people willing to stand on the other side of the valley and wait for you to emerge so they can provide you with food and clothing. Best, there are people willing to find you in the valley and, if you are not ready or unable to emerge, willingly abide with you so that do not have to go through the valley alone.

when life takes you to the valley
filled with nothing but
bones and stones and dust

when the sun rides high in a
pastel blue sky
and the heat beats
hard upon your brow

may a friend track you,
following your footsteps
til she finds you

may she bring
coolness to dry your brow
water to quench your thirst
food to satisfy your body

may she bring an ear for your troubles
a shoulder for you to lean on
a smile to heal your soul

may you walk strong through the valley together
may you find moments to dance
and opportunities to laugh

may you ... together
keep your footing and fight through storms
combat the heat and avoid cutting stones

may you weather it all, persevere 'til the end
and emerge from the valley
victorious with your friend

childhood friends

Yesterday I spoke to my oldest friend .  I love her dearly. We have known each other since we were in diapers. We have been through a lot together and it is always good to talk with her. When we talk it is as though time has stood still. For just that moment, I am young again sharing good conversation with her on her front steps or up in my bedroom.  

When we talked yesterday, we did something we seem to do more and more often lately.We reminisced. I really enjoy it. I love remembering the things we did as well as who we were many, many years ago. We are very different people and yet a lot of who we are has remained the same.

I hope you have a friend you have known forever. Someone you grew up with. Someone who knows your family history. Someone you have great memories with.  I do. We had pillow fights, food fights, shaving cream vs whipped cream fights. She threw water on me to wake me up and I forced her to get up at the crack of dawn to go running. We snuck into porno films to see what the big deal was and tried Sushi for the first time together. We slept over each other's house and shared our first bottle of imported champagne together.

We dreamed of our weddings and our children and our future together. We shared our dream jobs, dream homes, and dream men with each other. We laughed, shared, cried, dated, broke up, married, divorced, widowed, and had children together. We have lived our lives together ... always ... even when she moved away and we stopped seeing each other almost daily. That is true blue, true gold friendship. I am glad she was my friend growing up and I am glad we are still friends. She knows who I was and how I have changed. There are things that have happened in my life that she was there for and I don't have to explain. She can often read my thoughts and sometimes she even says what I am thinking before I do. She is my friend and I love her.

We all need an old friend. Someone we have known all our lives. They are a mirror to our past; a barometer to our future. All of you out there with friends you have known for years, cherish them and ... the next time you see them, give them a hug. They have earned it ... and so have you

til next time... take care of you

succulent wild women

“A succulent wild woman is one of any age who feels free to fully express herself in every dimension of her life.”  by S.A.R.K.

Quite a while ago, I read this book about living life to the fullest with your girlfriends at your side. It was Succulent Wild Woman by S.A.R.K.. I recommend it to those sISTA gIRLS who want to grab life by the fattest end and jump in with their eyes closed. I encourage you to try some of her suggestions. Finally I absolutely encourage you bring a friend along for the ride.

I know this woman ... we have been friends for years. When we were younger, people used to call us Lucy and Ethel because we were always up to something. It is years later and we now live in separate states but we are still tight.We call each other and reminisce about the fun and crazy things we did both together and separately. We have families and responsibilities that prevent us from engaging in the mischief we used to get ourselves involved in but we are just waiting for the chance; and then, once again, the world will be our oyster

We each have friends we love and want to include in these life escapades. They think we are crazy but they are all ready to be crazy with us. We are going to laugh, travel, sing out loud, dance in the streets, say hello to strangers, laugh, help the needy, share love with the unloved, sculpt, write, laugh, paint, be grateful, express kindness, laugh, party, swim, bar-b-que, drink, laugh, play, drink some more, make friends ... basically enjoy the wild, wacky, wonderful world we live in while surrounded by the girlfriends who make our good times even better.

And listen sISTA gIRLS ... You are all invited along!!! Bring your friends and your suggestions. We are going to live life to its fullest with no regrets. We are going to enjoy the width, length and depth of life and we are going to do it together

SO >>> PACK FOR GOOD TIMES  and then PURCHASE YOUR TICKET FROM A FRIEND  so that you can COME ALONG FOR THE RIDE!!!

female friendship fabulosity

Today's post is about the wonderfulness of women friendships ... female friendship fabulosity. I am often surprised when I hear women say that they don’t have women friends, or that they don’t like women or that they find men to be better friends. I have always found my friendships with women to have been and to continue to be fun, uplifting and immensely valuable. 

Building close connections with women is an immensely powerful act. Communicating, laughing, growing stronger and older with each other is a way to strengthen female bonds. When we form such connections, many wonderful things happen. First, you are surrounded by people like you. Women are more likely to and able to understand another woman's wishes and concerns. Second, women value women. When we share friendship, we generally see each other as and treat each other as equals. 

In friendships between women, we hold each other accountable to one another in ways we don’t when we’re interacting with men or someone on a casual basis. With women, we are uniquely invested in overcoming each other's problems and making things work. We rely on each other, communicate our needs to each other and then trust that those needs will be met We use as well as seek kindness and compassion when dealing with our female friends because women are kind and compassionate by nature. 

Women friendships are center to and for women’s experiences. We understand each other's fears, as well as our hopes and dreams. For example, no one’s going to think you are being ridiculous if you say you are scared to walk home alone at night. Women support each other and  confirm and legitimize each other's feelings and experiences. 

Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to have lots of men friends or that having them means you don’t like women  just as it would be wrong and crazy to assume you need only women in your life ... in every aspect of your life. My issue is women saying they aren't friends with women because they don’t like women. Women are the people I have relied on, trusted in and shared my hopes, dreams and biggest secrets with. I have shaped myself, at least partially, through my interactions with them. They have been of immense support to me in a world I have sometimes found to be scary, out of control, and cruel. My strong connections with equally strong women and my friendships with women have been, for me, a source of strength, laughter, support, love and goodness.

poems, reflections and prayers for sista girls

Even sISTA gIRLS sometimes need a little prayer. Please keep me and mine in your prayers these next few days. Thank you kindly. Also bear with me if I take a little longer to get these posts out. The world will right up again and all will be well. In the meantime, here is a little poem to fill your day. I hope you like it.

Hope is a bird singing before the sun does rise

Hope is a flower’s fragrance even sweeter as it dies

Hope is a brilliant sky that preludes that day’s end

Hope is a “really, you too” that signals a new friend

Hope is a thing inspired on a warm and sunny day

Hope is a thing desired when the sunshine’s gone away

Hope is the thing you turn to when your life’s about to bust

Hope is a thing believed in when there’s nothing left to trust

and here is a prayer to fill your heart and spirit

may your friday be filled with friends and laughter

may your weekend be filled with family and goodness

may your body be filled with good health

may your heart be filled with light and loving kindness

may your world be filled with beauty

may your soul be filled with peace and joy

may life be filled with sunshine

may your life overflow with happiness and love

and may you always have  sISTA gIRLS to share it all with

LOVE YOU ALL ... TAKE CARE ... until tomorrow

let's share this friendship

While it is true … I have been writing this blog for just a little while … I have yet to get a comment from anyone who has read any of my posts. I would love to hear from you. If you have an opinion, a suggestion or a topic you would like me to talk about … please let me know. This blog is not just about me and friendships … it is about you and friendships. 

So share … share … SHARE!!!! Cause today it is all about YOU!!!!!!!

what i learned in high school

I was thinking about what to write the other day and I remembered this girl I went to high school with. She blew through a bunch of us girls like wind on a wintry day and then one day we looked up and she was gone leaving a path of destruction like I had never seen before and have not often seen since.

She started with the oldest of us and ticked us off one by one, pitting us against one another, challenging our friendship with each other. I was the youngest of the group. When it was my turn, I was unprepared for her special brand of magnetism and attraction. I fell and I fell hard.

She was tall and slim. She had a head full of jet black hair, wore huge, black rimmed glasses and talked a mile a minute. She laughed a lot, had a smile that lit a room, and leaned her head in real close when she had something to tell you and looked you right in the eye when you were sharing something with her. She made you feel special and everyone wanted to be friends with her. At least in the beginning.

I still remember the day she decided she wanted to be my friend. She sought me out in the cafeteria and sat next to me, pulling her chair close to mine. She said she had been trying for a while to be friends with me but I was so popular she thought I would not want her for a friend. She was smooth and while her statement was not true, it sure made me feel good. I knew who she was. I knew all the people she had been friends with and since I did not know how those had ended (until later), I was honored she wanted to talk to me.

It lasted a week. We walked to classes together, sat together at lunch and talked on the telephone at home. She made me feel special. She said she had never had a friend like me, she only wanted me and we would be best friends forever. I was super happy and forgot all about my other friends … all for her. And it was wonderful. We were best friends forever … well … for one week … my week. And then she moved on.

My friends saw us together and tried to warn me about her. I paid them no mind. They were jealous of us, of the fact that she wanted to be my friend and mine alone. My friends gave up and let me go with a smile of understanding. I gloated about my luck but they knew I would be back.

They were right. She was not a real friend; she was not my real friend. Heck, she was not a friend at all … much less a real friend. At the end of my week I waited for her at our spot and she was not there, After each class, I looked for her but she was not there. At lunch I looked for her and she was not there. Feeling lonely, I went to sit with the friends I had abandoned for my new best friend. They welcomed me as though nothing had happened and I was grateful. While we laughed together, my “best friend” showed up with her new best friend and totally ignored me. She acted as though I didn't exist and my heart was crushed. Everyone at the table was polite to her but did not invite her to join us.  She flounced away from us without a care, laughing together with her new best friend.

When she left I was broken-hearted. But my actual friends felt for me and told me how she had tried to do the same with each one of them with mixed success. The older girls had not trusted her. She had worked her magic on us younger girls. As I listened to them, I learned valuable friend information that day. It still works today.

      True friends spend time with others as well as each other because they know that more friends means more fun

      True friends are not jealous of other friends because true friendship lasts

      Spending all your time with one person, only, is not healthy … there is sooo much out there to enjoy

      If someone drops a friend to be with you, they’ll drop you to be friends with someone else.

      Don’t turn your back on your true friends or take them for granted, it hurts. But if you do, true friends will understand and forgive … and take you back.

I still follow these today.

SO … thanks to all my high school sISTA gIRLS. I still love ya!